From: GREGMCCAUSEY@webtv.net (Gregory McCausey) Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 Just a few humorous quips I came up with while pretending to be working. In no particular order, I give you the reasons why everyone loves BSG so much: The laser sound of the Colonial Viper is cooler than the laser sound of the X-Wing Fighter. You are practicing making your voice sound just like a Cylon Centurion, because you think it will help you meet women. You want to discover why the Cylons can't destroy the Galactica when they destroyed four other battlestars without breaking a sweat. You are a psychiatrist, and you use Lucifer's head lights to hypnotize your patients. You are waiting for Apollo to return to Equellus, like he promised to in "The Lost Warrior". Because Starbuck, Apollo, and Boomer look so sexy in their dress uniforms. You are sure there must be an episode in which Jolly says more than one line. Because they are not on Earth, you don't have to worry about seeing those annoying product placements all over the Galactica. You are waiting for them to come out with their new female triad outfits, hoping that Rigel will try out for the team. You think the word "turboflush" is neat. You are convinced that Apollo's hair has a mind of its own, as it constantly flies around, refusing to stay in one place. You would swear that Fred Astaire looked taller in those old movies with Ginger Rogers. You are trying to figure out why there are always twelve new members of the council in every episode. You are convinced that any show that has the word "God" in most of its episode titles has to be great. As you are watching "Saga of a Star World", you dream about how much more work you could get done if only you had four arms. You love watching Adama and Tigh turn around and look at the window every time one of them says, "Positive Shields, Now!" and finally... Because Lorne Greene is a better singer than William Shatner. Greg McCausey >From Robert Hanczyk: >You want to discover why the Cylons can't destroy the Galactica >when they destroyed four other battlestars without breaking a >sweat. Hey! That's a good point. Never thought of it much even though surprise was on their side for once. Well, now that I think about it with my last living brain cell, if the other battlestars weren't sitting on their fannies not firing back, it'd be pretty favorable to the tinheads who are lucky if the can hit the broad side of a battlestar when flying right at it. >You are waiting for them to come out with their new female > triad outfits, hoping that Rigel will try out for the team. No argument there. She'd really have to secure her hair. I think I have a picture where it goes below her waist. >You think the word "turboflush" is neat. And you think of poor Bojay who keeps getting stuck in there. (RR96 hint hint) >You are convinced that Apollo's hair has a mind of its own, as it >constantly flies around, refusing to stay in one place. Better keep quiet there as my hair is at that point. >You would swear that Fred Astaire looked taller in those old movies >with Ginger Rogers. A-HA!! So That's who Starbuck's mother is!!! Now the mystery has been solved. His parents must have been dancing on the ceiling when the Cylons hit Umbra. >You are trying to figure out why there are always twelve new members > of the council in every episode. Because the others are too hated by the civilians to hold their position? >You love watching Adama and Tigh turn around and look at the window >every time one of them says, "Positive Shields, Now!" Eh, could be. You might wonder why we don't hear "All Fire Control Stations manned and operational" more often. >Because Lorne Greene is a better singer than William Shatner. Hallelujah. Robert hanczykr@gmail.com From: LtSheba << > You would swear that Fred Astaire looked taller in those old > movies with Ginger Rogers. A-HA!! So That's who Starbuck's mother is!!! Now the mystery has been solved. His parents must have been dancing on the ceiling when the Cylons hit Umbra. >> LOL! Liked this a lot Robert I'm putting on my top hat, putting on my white tie, putting on the ritz! Heather From: Nytesilver << >You are trying to figure out why there is always twelve > new members of the council in every episode. Because the others are too hated by the civilians to hold their position? >> And how many of those inmates on the prison barge are in there for assassination attempts? Or do the Colonies have the "but he _needed_ killin'!" defense? Leah From: RSH >>>You are trying to figure out why there is always twelve new members >>>of the council in every episode. >> Because the others are too hated by the civilians to hold their >> position? >And how many of those inmates on the prison barge are in there for >assasination attempts? Or do the Colonies have the "but he _needed_ >killin'!" defense? Heh. Not for Warriors, judging by what Starbuck was blamed for in "Murder on the Rising Star." One would think that the creep who died was one of those who needed killing, since "everyone who ever met him" was tempted to, er, assist him to his demise... -- ......RSH, Sarah, aka norville@sirius.com...... From: Nytesilver << >And how many of those inmates on the prison barge are in there for >assasination attempts? Or do the Colonies have the "but he _needed_ >killin'!" defense? Heh. Not for Warriors, judging by what Starbuck was blamed for in "Murder on the Rising Star." One would think that the creep who died was one of those who needed killing, since "everyone who ever met him" was tempted to, er, assist him to his demise... >> Nah, that defense only applies to non-Caprican members of the Council! Or maybe they just have election, like, every other secton, just to break up the monotony. Must get pretty dull on those ships, only those itty-bitty media screens and nothing on the one channel anyway except sports and talk shows (and Mr. Rogers, but that's Robert's department...) Leah From: Robert > nothing on the one channel anyway except sports and talk >shows (and Mr. Rogers, but that's Robert's department...) What does one do with a little red trolley who zings and Zangs around the place DINGing his presence? That's right. You send Mr. Trolley to Baltar as a "gift." ------- Lucifer made his dignified entry through the glass doors into Baltar's main audience chamber always lacking in decor. Baltar knew Lucifer was waiting for the famous words, but tried make the head of lights become impatient. It was to no avail. Baltar swung around on his high chair. "Speak." "By your command," Lucifer said as he bowed. "We detected an object looping around this ship. We intercepted and examined it." Lucifer paused. "Out with it, I don't have all day!" To himslef, Lucifer whispered, "You don't have anything else." "WHAT WAS THAT?" "Yes. It is a gift to you from an anonymous admirer." Baltar's evil, wicked, dastardly smile spread across his Face. "An anonymous admirer, hm? Well, where is the gift?" Mr. Trolley rolled his way into the chamber as if on cue. Faster than a tumbling Cylon, Mr. Trolley circled around the base of the high pedestal of Baltar's chair. He began doing doughnut spins and flopper tails as his fast spinning wheels failed to find good traction on the cold deck. "What is Hade's Hole is that, Lucifer?!?!?!?" "Your gift. Is it not what you expected?" Lucifer replied in a very innocent voice. "I can't even see it!!!" Baltar shouted as he leaned forward in his chair in hopes to catch a glimpse of what was circling the base. Mr. Trolley continued showing no signs of stopping. He knew his mission. He extended his distance from the base and increased his speed to compensate for the additional area to cover. Lucifer suggested, "Perhaps, if you turned with it, you could see it." "I was just about to do that." Baltar sat back in his chair and began to do a slow rotation. He gradually increased the speed to try and match that of the "gift." Soon, the chair spun too fast for Baltar too keep his feet down. He lifted them into the chair as the speed increased beyond its limits. Faster and faster Baltar swirled around and around. He tried to reach the stop button on the arm of the chair, but failed. The G-force of the spin kept him pinned. Baltar squeaked, "Lucifer... Stop... This..." "I'm afraid I am unable to comply. That type of order is not in my programming." The lights in Lucifer's head brightened as did the upper half of his mouth to make it look like a smile. It was not until the chair motor broke did Baltar cease spinning. He was green in the face. Baltar's feet sloppily hit the base. He doubled over to throw his weight forward enough to get him out of the chair and onto his knees. That chair was the last thing he wanted to be on. Lucifer looked up at the pitiful excuse for a leader. Out of undeserved courtesy, he asked, "Are you feeling okay?" Baltar had enough energy to lift his head while clutching his stomach. He head spun enough to make him lose his balance and fall off the high pedestal to floor at Lucifer's feet. "Oh my. You are not looking good." Baltar only moved his mouth. "You... have... not... heard... the... last... from... me!" From: Michelle Here is my take on why I love BG: 1. Actually get to use that Egyptian history knowledge gained in 7th grade. 2. All those myths they made me read throughout school actually manifest themselves throughout the show. 3. All that talk about "symbolism" and "themes" makes sense. 4. Never thought I would get to use the term "Deux ex Machina" outside of Theatre 101. 5. 20 years later, there is still stuff to talk about.