Title: Thoughts 3
Author: Athena13 (Athena13@geocities.com)
Rating: PG
Summary: A warrior's thoughts.

Disclaimer: These works are fiction stories based on the series 
Battlestar Galactica and its characters created and owned by Glen A. 
Larson. These stories are not being sold for profit and no infringement 
of any copyright rights are intended. All unrecognized characters and 
plot lines are mine and copyright protection is claimed. Any                
resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

~~~~~~~
I know he's my best friend and I should have known what was going on, 
but he refused to tell me!  He's been antsy for a few sectons now. 
Starbuck is almost never like this.  Well, not until the past few 
sectars.  He's been closer to the edge than I've ever seen him, 
emotionally, not professionally.  Professionally, he's always on the 
edge.  It's what makes him a good warrior.  But lately, his emotions 
have been so raw and close to the edge as well.

For a while, I was pleased to see it.  It seemed like he was finally 
maturing emotionally and preparing for the inevitable commitment to 
Cassiopeia. I knew it was hard for him to give up his carefree ways 
with women and take the plunge, perhaps better than anyone.  Not just 
as his friend, but as someone sitting close to that edge myself.  But 
this isn't about me, this is about Starbuck.  And it seems I was way 
off base in my deductions.

These days, Starbuck can't look me in the eyes.  Whatever is on his 
mind is obviously something he's afraid to tell me.  And there has only 
been one thing Starbuck has been afraid to tell me, ever.  Which brings 
me back to my suspicions.  It's taken me until now to figure things 
out, but I think I got it.

Actually, it wasn't my amazing powers of deduction that led me to this 
conclusion. When it comes to matters of the heart I can be pretty 
dense. If Serina hadn't been so confident and bold, who knows how long 
it might have taken us to get together?  Probably as long as it's going 
to take with Sheba. I didn't figure that out either, she had to tell 
me.  And I still haven't done anything about it.  No, figuring out what 
was wrong with Starbuck, and yes I tried asking him, practically took a 
diagram.

They were all standing in front of me earlier tonight before I got it.  

I was innocently on my way to my Father's quarters for a family dinner 
when I ran into Starbuck and Cassi on their way there as well.  They 
weren't talking to each other, but I knew right away that it wasn't a 
companionable silence.  It didn't seem like they had had a fight 
either.  There was just this tension that made me want to rush past and 
tell them I'd see them there.  Of course I couldn't do that.  

Then it hit me that this tension wasn't something new.  It had been 
slowly building since Starbuck and I returned form the baseship.  I 
guess I just discounted it at first as post-stress trauma at the time.  
Now there was no avoiding it.  And Cassi noticed I noticed.  And 
Starbuck couldn't look me in the eyes, as I said.  Neither did he look 
Cassi in the eyes. 

I still really had no idea what was going on.  If Starbuck and Cassi 
were having problems why couldn't my friend look _me_ in the eyes?  It 
didn't make any sense.  Then we ran into Athena, also on her way to 
dinner.  That's when it all fell into place.

I was playing diplomat and having a conversation with Cassi while 
Starbuck trudged along quietly behind me (as if that wasn't odd enough) 
when we ran into her.  Although a more accurate description would be 
that she ran into us.  Athena had been running down the corridors, as 
we'd been told our whole lives never to do on a military ship, and 
almost plowed into Starbuck.  In her defense, she was being chased by 
Captain Biehn and had been too busy looking behind her to see where she 
was going.  My sister has always been rambunctious.  Sort of like my 
wingmate.  

Cassi and I both turned at the commotion and found Starbuck holding 
Athena by her midriff to keep her from falling over and Captain Biehn 
doubled over laughing.  Athena was laughing herself and trying to 
untangle herself from Starbuck's arms.  The problem was, Starbuck 
wouldn't let go.  He wasn't holding her hostage or anything; he was 
just a little too slow about the whole thing. And we all noticed - 
including Cassi who turned and walked away before anyone had a chance 
to say a word.  Starbuck didn't even notice as his eyes were glued on 
my sister.

I was happy to see that Athena didn't appear to be enjoying the 
attention and pushed him away to get his arms off of her.  She was 
still laughing as she did it and didn't seem to notice what was going 
on as she turned towards Biehn.  She stopped laughing, however, when 
Starbuck grabbed her by the arm.  

I've never seen anyone still as quickly as my sister did at that 
moment.  She turned and even from her profile I could see profound 
shock slap her in the face.  It seemed she hadn't even paid attention 
to who she had run into and apologized to.  Then I saw fear and she 
backed away from him.  But Starbuck didn't let go.  

Meanwhile, I noticed Biehn looking on with interest.  I knew that the 
last thing any of us needed was a reprise of the Starbuck-Athena rumors 
that had only recently died down.  It was that thought that made 
everything click for me.

I quickly moved to divert Biehn's attention and left Athena to take 
care of herself.  I knew she could do it.  I also knew she would kill 
me if I interfered and made a bigger scene.  It seemed like forever, 
but really it was all only a few microns.  As I reached Biehn's side 
Starbuck came to his senses and let Athena go.  Athena put her hand on 
Biehn's chest and told him she'd see him tomorrow and that she would 
walk with me to our Father's.  I noticed that she didn't say Starbuck's 
name.

When I turned to take my friend aside and ask him what the frak was 
going on I noticed he was gone.  So Athena and I quietly made our way 
to dinner.  Obviously, neither of us felt like talking about Starbuck's 
behavior.  Athena seemed rather shaken by the experience, and I wasn't 
feeling all that steady myself.  It had just occurred to me, after all, 
that my best friend was in love with my sister.  Again? Still?  I 
wasn't too sure of which, but he had obviously recently figured it out 
for himself.

So I'm not that dense, he was realizing that dating tons of women 
wasn't necessary in order to find happiness.  He was preparing to 
change and settle down with one woman.  I just was wrong about which 
woman.  I just had no idea at the time how my sister felt.

At dinner, Cassi never showed up and Starbuck showed up late.  With 
what looked suspiciously like a fading handprint on his face.  He 
wouldn't look me, or anyone, in the eyes for the entire dinner.  And he 
barely said a word.  I take that back, there was one person he looked 
in the eyes.  You guessed it, Athena.  And that's when I figured out 
how she felt, because she couldn't look away from him.  I could see the 
fear and confusion she felt, but she still couldn't look away from him.  
That's my baby sister, she never runs from a confrontation.

Apparently, Athena had thought the same thing I did that Starbuck was 
going to propose to Cassi.  If the handprint is any indication that's 
not going to happen.  Added to the silent and brooding version of my 
wingmate that sat through dinner staring at my sister, definite no.

Now dinner is over and my Father is sitting in a chair drinking Ambrosa 
with our other family members, Boomer and Sheba, while Athena stares 
out the starport and I stand here waiting for Starbuck to summon the 
courage up to come talk to me as I know he will.  Sure enough, he's on 
his way over and he's finally looking me in the eye.  I can't help but 
smile at him.  He really thought I was going to kill him when I found 
out about Athena.  I wanted to last time, but not this time.  This time 
I can tell he's serious.  And if he can convince Athena of that, and 
he'll need all the luck he claims to have, then he has my support.  And 
that's just what I'm about to tell him.

END