The Ranidae Prince
by Erin Gieg
June 16, 1998

     Once upon a battlestar, there lived a kindly old Sire
with his beautiful daughter.  She was his youngest, the only
one who had survived the holocaust with him.
     Near the Sire's palatial quarters, there was a
hydroponics bay, and in that room, under a yahrens old
citron tree was a well.  The daughter's name was Cassie, and
she loved to play with a wonderful golden ball that was
signed by one of the best triad players ever.  One cycle, as
she was practicing her triad game, the ball went too far and
disappeared into the depths of the well.
     "Aaaaugh!"  She shrieked, "My Magic Starbuck triad
ball!"
     She sank to the ground at the edge of the well, buried
her face in her hands, and began to sob.
     "Uh, hello up there," a voice came from behind her.
      Cassie whipped her head around and immediately
regretted it.
     "Whiplash," she grumbled to herself.  "You'd think a
medtech would be able to prevent it."
     Then she noticed where the voice had come from; a small
green rana poked his slimy head just above the water level.
     "Ribbit," the rana said.
     "Well, I'm imagining things again," Cassie said to
herself.  "I guess I do need a psyche evaluation."
     "Excuse me," the voice came again.
     Cassie turned her head again, much more carefully this
time.
     "Are you speaking to me?" she asked.
     "Well, yes," the rana said.
     "What do you want?" she asked rather irritably.
     "If you'd listen for a centon, I'd tell you that I was
just going to offer to get your silly little ball for you."
The rana shot back.
     "Oh!"  Cassie smiled brightly and turned to face the
amphibian.  "How kind of you!  What shall I give you in
return?  I have marvelous jewels, and plenty of cubits."
     "Bah!"  The rana said.  "I don't want your pathetic
jewels or your worthless cubits."
     "Well then what do you want?" Cassie asked querulously.
     "I want an invitation to come to visit you.  I want a
nice dinner, and some good ambrosa.  Also, I want to sleep
on your pillow; it's been a long time since I've slept on
anything soft and dry." The rana said.
     "Where am I supposed to sleep?"  Cassie demanded.
     "You can have the couch," the rana said generously.
     Cassie thought and thought about it, and decided that
her prize was worth it.
     "Okay, I agree to your terms," she said.
     The rana croaked happily and dove into the well.
     Cassie heard a large splash, and a few centons later, a
triumphant "Aha!" echoed.
     She poked her head into the well and could just make
out a small shadowy form near the bottom.
     "I'm coming up," the rana panted, lugging the heavy
ball up behind him.
     Suddenly, a column of hot steam shot up, enveloping the
rana in its mist.
     "Aaaaagh!" Cassie heard, and the rana, with the ball,
came shooting up out of the well.
     The rana landed flat on its back and groaned.
     Cassie snatched the ball up from where it had fallen
and exclaimed, "Oh thank you, thank you!"
     With that she turned and ran right out of the bay doors
and on toward her quarters.
     The rana groaned again then picked up his head.
     "But you promised," it trailed off as it realized the
bay doors had closed behind her.  Its head flopped back on
the ground.
     "Hate it when that happens."

                      *

     Cassie was seated at the table, eating her supper with
her father, when suddenly a loud splat sounded at the door.
     The sire looked at her, puzzled.
      "Now what could that be?" he wondered.
     Cassie put a hand to her mouth.
     "Oh no, it must be that poor rana!"
     "Whatever are you talking about?" the sire asked.
     She went on to tell him the whole story of what
happened, and her father advised her to keep her promise.
     Cassie walked to the door and toggled the switch, and
the door opened just as the rana was attempting yet another
rush at the it.  Having no obstacle in his way this time,
the rana continued in its headlong run and crashed into the
wall at the far side of the room.
     The old sire winced sympathetically and got up quickly
to help the rana to his feet.
     "Thank you, kind sir," the rana said.  "I would have
knocked, but as you can see, I don't have any hands."
     Cassie had the grace to look ashamed.  She walked over
to the rana and smiled apologetically.
     "I'm sorry," she said, "that I left you behind.  I
forgot, with all the excitement of getting my valuable ball
back."
     "Forgiven," the rana said.  "So, what's for dinner?"
     "Well," Cassie said, "we're having protein cubes,
tubers, and legumes."
     With that, the rana leapt onto the table and its eyes
became round as saucers.
     "Wow, you don't know how long it's been since I've had
a meal like this!" it said.
     The sire chuckled and filled a small plate for the
rana.
     After they had finished their dinner, small glasses of
ambrosa were poured, and the cacao mushies were brought out.
     The rana quickly downed its glass.
     "Got any more?" he asked.
     The sire filled the glass to the brim again.
     The rana croaked in glee then challenged the sire to a
friendly game of pyramid.
     Cassie quietly left the room and returned with the
cards and a box of her father's favorite fumarellos.  The
sire chose one, prepared and lit it, then began to shuffle
the pyramid deck.
     The rana hopped across the table to sit beside the box,
then looked up
with bright eyes.
     "May I have one?"
     "By all means," Cassie's father looked quite surprised,
but he obligingly prepared and lit a second fumarello and
placed it in the rana's mouth.
     The amphibian let out a contented half croak then
started in surprise as the heavy fumarello promptly tipped
it onto its face.
     "So much for that idea," it said.
     The sire's eyes twinkled with amusement.
     After finishing the pyramid game, which the rana won,
it was decided that it was time to go to bed.  Cassie
brought the rana into her room and proceeded to tuck it in.
     "Can I have a good-night kiss too?" it asked.
     Cassie, thinking it was joking, let out a small laugh
and moved to exit the room.
     "No, really!" the rana said.
     Cassie, with her back to the bed, grimaced.  She turned
around and obligingly gave the rana a quick peck on the
cheek.
     Immediately the rana disappeared and in its place
emerged a colonial warrior, sans uniform.  Fortunately,
Cassie decided, the sheet was covering him.
    "Who are you?" she demanded.
     Hearing all the commotion, the sire appeared in the
doorway, and started violently.
     "Who are you and how did you get here?" he asked.
     The warrior introduced himself, "My name is Starbuck,
and I was turned into a rana by an evil warlock named Iblis.
I was forever doomed to roam on the battlestar in this form
unless I could find a girl who would love me and give me a
kiss."
     "Oh," Cassie said, still in shock.
     The sire left the room and returned quickly with a robe
for Starbuck to wear.
     "Here, put this on," the sire said, "I don't want
people to think that my daughter is a socialator."
     With that, Cassie and her father retired to the living
room.
     When Starbuck was fully clothed, he joined them.
     "Well," the sire said, "This is wonderful!  We'd all
heard that you were lost on patrol.  You were missing for
yahrens, you know."
     "I know," Starbuck said.
     "You must be sealed at once!" the sire rejoiced.
     Starbuck squirmed in his seat.
     "Well, uh, I uh ... I've got to go." He said.  "Got to
report in to Adama, you know."
     The sire leveled a frosty gaze at him.  "You wouldn't
be trying to get out of this, would you?"
     "Oh no, sir," Starbuck said placatingly.
     "Good, then we shall plan the sealing ceremony first
thing tomorrow!" the sire said.
     Cassie smiled reassuringly at Starbuck.

                         *

     And that is how it came to pass that Starbuck and
Cassie were sealed, and they lived happily ever after.

                      THE END