One Bad Mushie by Robert Hanczyk hanczykr@gmail.com October 28, 1997 "...in a viper. We have to make sure they hold together while the pilots tear them through atmospheric entry..." Boxey grew restless in his seat. He fidgeted like a daggit on a sunspot. There were simply no good shows for him on IFB. They were always doing stupid interviews. Why didn't they have more educational shows such as cartoons. What was learned from interviews? NOTHING according to Boxey. What else? Apollo was at some important meetings. Instructional period was long over. All the kids had important things to do. Or so they said. Why not Boxey? What was a boy and his daggit to do? "Come on, Muffy. Let's go do something." Boxey stood up out of his blue chair which was usually quite comfortable for him. Muffit mechanically barked and wagged his tail in anticipation of leaving his confinement. He fell into step beside Boxey as Boxey headed for the door. Boxey opened the door and let Muffit pass through into the corridor. 'Boxey.' Boxey froze in his tracks and looked back in the room. He thought he heard his name called. He'd swear it was his mom calling him. Had to be his imagination. Serina was killed by a Cylon. Yes, it had been hard on Boxey to lose both his parents. He often had vivid dreams his mother was still alive, but this was pushing it. Even though life on the big battlestar was tough on him, Boxey was a Colonial Warrior Junior Junior class, and had to face life as a Young Colonial Warrior was trained to do. Maybe he was really tired. If so, he did not feel it. His mind had played a mean and dirty trick on him. That was it!! Boxey shook his head and left the room. When the door slid shut with creepy creaks, something felt seriously wrong to Boxey. The lighting of the corridor was unusually dim. It also had a yellow hue to it. Some light covers were broken in various degrees from a piece knocked out of one to nothing but broken pieces held in by the metal protective frame. Other light covers were missing. A musty smell filled the air as if someone had not cleaned the filters in a long time. The fire extinguisher down the corridor was covered in an oily grime. Support frames were busted in various places. Most peculiar were the scorch marks on the walls from laser pistol fire. To top it all off, there was not a single soul in sight. "I don't like this, Muffy. It's way too creepy." Boxey decided it was best for him to go back into his room. After all, he had to protect the barracks, his barracks, from any scum invasion and call Apollo for backup. He turned and pressed the door button. The door did not open. No swoosh. No creak. No nothing. Not even a release noise was heard. He pushed again. Still nothing. Boxey made a tight fist and pounded on the release button. Muffit even started barking at the door. It was all to no avail. The door simply refused to open. "What do we do, Muffy?" Muffit barked a response and bobbed his head up and down. Boxey had no idea what Muffit said. At times, he thought he did. Hades, sometimes he knew what Muffit barked, but not this time. "Come on, Muffy. Let's go find dad or grandpa." Boxey walked down the desolate corridor with Muffit faithfully beside him. "What hit this place?" Muffit turned his sensors on high to detect danger. His ears detected no engine noise. He did hear the ventilation system struggling to function properly. Muffit knew what to do should the oxygen level decrease below human standards. Tucked away deep in memory, Muffit knew where every single life mask station was aboard the Galactica. That coincided with detailed schematics of the Galactica. After the mighty fire when Boomer, Athena, Boxey and others were trapped in the Rejuvenation Center, Dr. Wilker programmed these extra details into Muffit. From the scent of the air, Muffit knew there was or had been a fire somewhere on the Galactica. He noted the current temperature of the deck in order to detect fire underneath and the overall temperature of the area. "Muffit? Are you listening to me?" The mechanical daggit barked in response. "Do you smell mushies?" Muffit sniffed the air and barked a negatory. "Mushies would be good right now." They turned at the corridor junction. A doorway to the left was slightly ajar. Curiosity had the better of Boxey. He went for the door. Muffit did not sense any danger, but kept to Boxey's side just in case. When Boxey was on the other side of the door, they were on the Galactica no more. Instead, they were in a hallway made of solid stone. Boxey froze in place except for his mouth; it dropped to the floor. "What happened?" Muffit had no idea, but he barked anyways. "Where are we?" From somewhere around him, a haunting voice boomed at him. "I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!" Boxey jumped and quickly turned around to see if anyone was there. He quickly asked, "Who are you? Where are you?" "I SEE YOU!" That voice sent chills down Boxey's spine. He yelled, "Who are You?!?!" "DID YOU EAT MUSHIES TODAY?" Boxey had goose bumps on goose bumps. "Yes. Where are You?!?" "WHERE ARE MY MUSHIES?" "I don't have any!!!" Muffit jumped up and down and barked in confirmation. Not that it did any good. His sensors were unable to detect the source of the voice. "YES, YOU DO!!!!" Boxey made fists. His face turned red. Chills or no chills, he was very angry. How dare someone talk to him, demand mushies and not be seen. This was not right. He started stomping down the hall. "Show your face. I'm not afraid of you." The stone hall was long , twisted, cold, damp, dim and dreary. Heavy wooden doors with cast iron bars were at various points along the way in no specific pattern, but Boxey did not stop to check them. The slow, haunting voice continued, "MUSHIES! GIVE ME YOUR MUSHIES!" "I don't have none." Boxey's face became even redder, so red he was burning up. He was absolutely furious. Even he if he did have mushies, Boxey would not give them up. "I STILL SEE YOU!" "I don't care." "REALLY?" "Really!" "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA A-HA!" The laughter was as creepy as creepy could be. The stone hall became darker. Only a few lights barely functioned. One dim light sparked and fizzled out. A thin smoke was in the air. Boxey had to walk through a very acute turn in the darkened hallway. He slowed his step and did not stomp anymore, proceeding with caution. But the stomps did not stop. Muffit began to bark a mean bark. Well, it was mean for a mechanical daggit. Out of the smoky hall in front of Boxey it suddenly appeared. It was made of 100% mushies, all different colors. It was the shape of a human, only much taller and bulkier. There were no ears or nose. The closest part resembling eyes were two purple mushies. As for the mouth, it had one sans teeth, tongue or throat. Boxey, white as a ghost, turned and ran. "YOU HAVE MY DINNER!" "I do not!!" Boxey yelled back. "YOU ARE MY DINNER!" "Not on your life." "IT'S YOUR LIFE!!!! HA HA HA HA HA A-HA!!!!!!!!" There was a very old tale on Caprica. It was a popular one to tell the kids on dark and stormy nights. Millennia ago, long before the Thousand Yahren War, there was this couple who had a dozen children. At the time, any form of candy was unheard of. The closest they came to sweets were natural plants. In order to please their children, the couple experimented with the sweet plants. Two yahrens later, the first mushie was made. The kids fought over who would try it first. To resolve the situation, the parents made the mushie a contest prize. The contest was all the children had to spin in circles and continue spinning until they could spin no more. The last one standing would eat the test mushie. The children started spinning, all twelve of them. The eldest thought she was going to get the prize simply because she was the eldest at fourteen yahren. That meant she was the best. She spun fast, very fast, like a top. Her long hair reached out as far as it could as if electricity danced along to the ends to jump out and zap all around her. The youngest, a boy, at two yahren, did not know why he was spinning. It did not really matter. He had fun spinning, especially when he fell down and went boom. Even though he was out of the contest, he stood and kept spinning. The little kid did this every time he fell until he was too pooped to stand. Some of the children started swaying into each other. There was a topple effect to bring them all down. They yelled and argued to blame each other except for the youngest boy. He did not know the contest was over so he spun, fell, laughed, and did it again. Everyone stopped when the parents came out with a tray of a dozen mushies. They all laughed at themselves and ate the mushies. The response yell from them said all that was needed. The mushies were delicious. The kids demanded more, but the parents did not have any more prepared. Something had to be done. The parents knew mushies would be a hit. So, the family built a factory to make mushies. It ran non stop as mushies were in high demand. The kids always liked to sneak out at night and see who could eat the most mushies. No matter what their parents did to prevent it, the kids always found a way to sneak into the factory to eat more mushies. And then one night, one of the kids ate too many mushies. All the other siblings left while the one ate more and more and more. When morning came, the kid was no longer human. The Mushie Monster had been born. It was not known which one of the children became the Mushie Monster because the eleven other children were not there in the morning and had never been seen or heard from again. The Mushie Monster hunted mushies. Whenever it was unable to find mushies, it was said the Mushie Monster ate any children who had mushies in them. No one had ever lasted long enough to slay the Mushie Monster for it was invincible. Until that time when someone could conquer the Mushie Monster, all little boys and girls had better watch out. The more mushies they ate, the better the chances the Mushie Monster would eat them. Boxey had eaten many mushies in his life. His mother having been a famous reporter had its advantages. It did not matter where they went for a story, someone always had mushies to give the "cute little boy." Having Muffit as a pet was also an advantage. He was trained to sniff out mushies. Boxey had personally trained him. Now, the Mushie Monster was after Boxey. He had better run for his life. And run he did. When Boxey came out of the sharp turn in the hallway, he found himself in a glorious castle. Muffit entered a few microns after him. The white, fancy arched ceiling was ten metrons high. The floor was a hard, shiny surface with an intricate pattern of weaves. Statues of high society people lined the one wall. A few were missing their head, an arm or a leg. Paintings of people and colorful tapestries lined the opposite wall. Loyally guarding the doorway at the north end were two armored statues. They faced each other seeing all who entered. At the south wall was an arched doorway leading into the majestic ball room. On the wall beside the doorway hung a large oval mirror framed with gold leaves. On a shelf underneath the mirror laid a gold sword with diamonds set in the hilt. "This is weird!" "DINNER IS MUSHIES!!" "Go find them somewhere else." "I DON'T HAVE TO!!" Boxey ran to the sword and took it. The mighty sword seemed heavy at first, but after a few sloppy swings, Boxey was able to handle it well. In through the north door, the Mushie Monster passed the statue guards. The powerful stomps it made caused all the statues to teeter except the guards which received the hardest of the stomps. The guards were secured to their posts better than the statues. One of the statues along the wall fell over and smashed into a million pieces on the solid floor. Unfazed, Boxey stood in place and waited for the Mushie Monster. Muffit, on the other hand, had different plans. The mechanical daggit ran to the Mushie Monster which totally ignored him because Muffit only sniffed out mushies; he did not eat them. The monster's movement was fairly slow. Muffit took full advantage and bit a hearty chunk off the monster's mushie leg. He dropped it on the floor and barked. The Mushie Monster continued its advance towards Boxey. Muffit bounded along and took another bite out of the Mushie Monster's leg. It noticed this time. "GET AWAY LITTLE DAGGIT WHILE YOUR MASTER IS MY MAIN COURSE!" Muffit barked in a threatening tone. He opened up his mouth and prepared to take one final bite. The Mushies Monster swiped its arm back at Muffit with lightning speed. Muffit sailed through the air and clashed with one of the armored statues. The stomps may not have been enough to knock them over, but the force with which Muffit clashed with one was. He hit the floor as the statue fell in towards the other one blocking the north entrance. The Mushie Monster continued its advance to Boxey. Boxey's face turned red with anger. "How dare you hurt Muffy!" "YOU'RE NEXT. YOU HAVE MUSHIES!!" "I don't you mean monster!" Boxey stuck his tongue out at the Mushie Monster, not that it did much good. 'When at first you don't succeed, try something else.' Time for plan two. The gold sword was wielded over his shoulder. His arms itched to swing the mighty sword at the Mushie Monster. His gripped tightened. Boxey knew he had to slash the Mushie Monster in half. As the distance between him and the Mushie Monster decreased, Boxey swung the sword back and forth hoping to make the monster stop. Nothing doing. Muffit stood back up. The one thing he did not have was nerve cells. The knock into the armored statues did not even phase him. It was merely a temporary setback. He barked and "ran" down to the Mushie Monster. It was about to grab at the sword as Boxey swung it. Muffit took one big chomp from the Mushie Monster leg to separate the foot from the leg. The Mushie Monster toppled over into the mirror. The monster mushed into the floor with the mirror falling on top of it. Muffit jumped up and down in victory. "Good work, Muffy. Let's go." Boxey held onto the sword and ran out the door. Muffit hurried after him while the Mushie Monster had to collect itself, literally. The ball room had a large dance floor. Alone it was the size of the room they just exited. The dance floor was surrounded by hand carved wooden tables and chairs carefully laid out to provide plenty of room for movement, yet seat a large number of people without overcrowding. A wooden railing carved as beautiful as the table and chairs acted as a barrier between the dance floor and surrounding gathering area. Only one opening in the railing existed to provide access to the dance floor. In the one corner of the ball room was a large pipe organ. This was also hand carved. The organ itself was higher than any man was taller. There were three levels of keyboards with plenty of levers, switches and knobs to confuse anyone but the expert organist. The organ sat on a platform not of wood and stone, but one of pipes. The same pipes from which the sound of music flowed out across the ball room floor among those who danced the night away. Boxey did not have time to take note of much except for where the doors were located. He ran right on to the dance floor through the one and only opening. Instead of backtracking, Boxey climbed up over the railing and weaved his way around all the tables and chairs knocking a few chairs over in the process. Muffit barked in protest. He was unable to go over the railing as Boxey had. The uprights did not have enough space between them to permit Muffit to pass. He barked, but Boxey did not hear. He was already long gone from the room. Muffit looked backed at the statue room, then back to the direction Boxey ran. He had to work his way off the dance floor to find the door that led the way to where Boxey ran. By the time Muffit exited the ball room, there was still no sign of the Mushie Monster. "FRACKIN' DAGGIT. IT'LL PAY FOR THIS!" In the statue room, the Mushie Monster's head was mushed a wee bit by the heavy, gold framed mirror. The monster used its mighty mushie arms to push the mirror off of it and hurl it into the opposite corner crushing two statues. It reshaped its head to the way it was supposed to be. Lack of intelligence caused lack of imagination. The Mushie Monster did not know a smashed head was scarier than a "normal" head. It did know out of instinct it had to reattach its mushie foot and find the boy. It stood on a foot and stump. One step later, the stump was on the separated foot and mushed with it. The Mushie Monster was back to one piece and went in roasted mushie pursuit Boxey. "YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!" Boxey yelled into the air, "Leave me alone!!" "NOT UNTIL I EAT MUSHIES!!" Muffit almost ran right into Boxey, but the boy did not notice. They were in a room of fencing Cylons. These were not the ones Boxey knew. Oh, no. Some Cylons had a human head from that of the dead. Others had a reptile arm found on a lizard farm. How about those with tails that made others wail. There were bodies of steel and legs with wheels. This was the worse hodgepodge of creatures Boxey ever saw. One Cylon knocked over its foe and turned to face Boxey for a duel. It thrust its silver sword at Boxey. He parried and countered with a slash to the Cylon leg. Purple goo oozed out down the leg onto the floor. Muffit ran into the Cylon forcing it to slip on its own goo and topple to the floor. The other Cylons halted and faced the unnatural newcomers. "Yipes," Boxey said in a high voice. It appeared he might be in trouble. This time Muffit was the first one to run for the closest door. A few Cylons swung at him as he went by. One sword hacked off a chuck of "fur" from Muffit's back hip. There was a dent in Muffit's casing, but nothing prevented him from exiting the room. Boxey swung at a sword block his path and knocked it out of the Cylon's hand. It clanked across the floor diverting the Cylon's attention. He exited in Muffit's wake. The ghastly collections of Cylons returned to fencing. "YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!!!" Music suddenly filled the air. The castle walls vanished replaced by dark brown brick held in place by melted Mushies. The walls lacked any design and ornamentation. No where was there any sign of a door or a vent. The black ceiling was dome shaped, thirty metrons from the floor at its apex. The windows were stain glass high up at the base of the dome. There was a dark motif carried throughout the panes of the deceiving colorful panorama. The only way out seemed to be through the high placed windows. In the middle of the dark gray floor was a circular pit sunk two metrons from floor level. The pit was home for the mighty pipe organ from the ball room. The difference this time was in the pipes. The organ did not sit on the pipes as it had in the ball room. Instead there were four main pipes on the main floor in three different sizes, each one large enough to hold a person or two inside. They reached from the floor up to the base of the dome ceiling. The pipe behind the organ pit was the narrowest. Its diameter was equal to the width of the typical human. The pipes to either side of the pit were one and a half times the diameter of the back pipe. The main pipe to produce the lowest tone was three times the size of the smallest. Its sound was heard throughout the lands. These four mammoth pipes were only used on special occasions because of the power of sound they produced. The main music sound was always produced in the ten, equally spaced set of standard organ pipes around the perimeter of the room. Each set contained nine pipes of varying sizes to evenly distribute the sound. "Holy Kobol, I never seen pipes so big," Boxey exclaimed in shock. A little terror crept into his voice as he said, "Muffy?" "NOTHING IS HOLY HERE!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" Boxey knew that voice all too well and totally despised it. He yelled at the top of his lungs, "Go Away!" Muffit stood beside him and barked equal sentiments. Although, the only possible danger he detected was the lone figure seated at the organ in the pit dressed all on black. The Organ Requiem in Impending Doom Major made a temporary step to minor, stressed the idee fixe, and returned to the major key. Muffit barked more and more at Boxey. "What is it Muffy?" The daggit kept nudging at Boxey until the question was answered. Boxey saw the organist and was relieved it was not the Mushie Monster. "Hey, mister. I need help." The organist paid no heed. He began to crescendo the Requiem into the dominant key of Doom Major, but not too far into the forte level. His bony fingers flowed up and down the lower two levels of the keyboard, quickly switching to the top level for a few measures when necessary without any interruption in the flow. His playing was perfect! The Mushie Monster popped out of the sound hole in the largest organ pipe but not as a whole. Its mushie pieces dropped all the way to the ground and reassembled in only a few microns to form the Mushie Monster. There was no evidence of Muffit's damage to its leg, the crushed head nor any change in color from possibly mixed mushies. The Mushie Monster's appearance was the same as when Boxey first saw it, only it was hungrier than a wild lupus. "AH, YOU'RE IN TIME TO BE DINNER!!!" "No, ah, I'm ah, dinner is later." "SORRY LITTLE BOY! IT'S DINNER TIME AND YOU AND YOUR MUSHIES ARE MY MAIN COURSE! YUM YUM!!!!" Very loudly in a deep deep deep bass, it said, "HA!!!!!!!!" The sound waves made Boxey's hair stand on end. He ran to the pit. "Hey Mister. Help me!! Help me!!! The Mushie Monster is after me! HELP ME!!!!" It was to no avail. The organist who was nothing more than skin and bones continued the dreary portion of the Requiem. Boxey stood at the edge of the pit. "Hey you!!" When he heard saw no response, Boxey jumped into the pit beside the organist. "Hey!!!!!!" Boxey tapped the Organist on the shoulder. The arm fell out of the shoulder bone. The frail skin tore apart as gravity pulled it down. All the bones fell apart and down through the suit jacket arm onto the floor, crumbling into a pile of dust. The organist noticed this time and turned to face Boxey. He had a dastardly looking face. Boxey stood aghast. He whispered, "Starbuck." Starbuck, skin and bones Starbuck, continued to play as if his arm was still present. He let out a groan before he turned to face the keyboard again. Very few ever knew Starbuck of Caprica played any instrument. It was something he kept to himself. He grew too old to fly a viper or fight any enemy. So he fulfilled his dream to play until death. As his music mentor once said, "Starbuck, a person will die, but his music will live forever." He composed the Requiem he now played. Boxey was the only person who would ever hear it. Boxey totally forgot about the Mushie Monster. He stood in shock, numbly watching Starbuck play his Requiem. The Mushie Monster towered above Boxey at the floor surface. It used one hand to drown out Muffit's bark. It bent over and reached down to grab Boxey. Only when he felt the mushie hand grab him did Boxey scream. "Put Me Down," he cried out. Frantically, Boxey tried to pull the mushie hand apart to free himself. Every mushie he pulled free from the arm, he threw at the face of the Mushie Monster. "DINNER IS SERVED!" "No no no no no. Let me go!!!!!" Boxey beat and pulled more mushies off the hand. Before he knew it, he was held above the open mouth of the Mushie Monster. Slowly, as if to prolong the torture, which was what was supposed to happen, Boxey knew this was the end but refused to go out quietly. His feet entered the mouth and Boxey let out the loudest scream of his shortened life. He wildly kicked, hoping to knock the mouth off the face. It was no good. His feet were sucked into the back of the mushie mouth followed by his legs. One more gulp and Boxey was a goner. "Boxey!! Boxey!!" Apollo tried to grab Boxey's flailing arms. "Boxey, wake up. It's me, Apollo." Boxey's eyes shot open. He did not believe Apollo was there. "Dad? DAD?!? DAD!!!!" He reached up and hugged Apollo like he never had before. Apollo held onto Boxey and felt all the love he had from his adopted son. He rocked the little boy back and forth to calm him down. "It's okay, Boxey. I got you. Everything's going to be okay." Boxey did not release Apollo. The hug was the most important thing to him. In between his tears of joy, he stuttered, "Dad..... Mushie Monster...after me.....swallowed......me.....Starbuck.....dead...." Apollo shooshed Boxey. He quietly said, "The Mushie Monster's gone, Boxey. You're safe with me." Boxey calmed down a little bit, but his heart still raced. He took a few breaths before saying, "Dad?" "Yes?" "I...love..you." "I love you too, Boxey." --- THE END --- Remember, anything can happen in a dream.