Kaleel's Journey to the Heart of the Eastern Alliance by Robert Hanczyk After watching Buck Roger's "Planet of the Slave Girls" with Jack Palance, not to mention the talk of some people thinking Palance would make a nice addition to Battlestar Galactica, I just had to write this short little skit. (As a side note: Talk about Larson and stock footage. Our nice little Cylon Base hidden in the asteroids on "Lost Planet of the Gods" is on this ep of Buck Rogers. Opening Up, Red runway lights, same rock surroundings - everything but our favorite Cylon Raiders. The engines warming up, HEY! That's the Viper engine warm-up! Then there's the stock footage of the light coming down the Buck Roger's version of launch tube with space at the other end. The shuttle launches and what do we see it flying away from? The silhouette of New Chicago. Haven't seen this ep in years, yet Larson's stock is so evident. Oh! Wait a centon. As a viewer, I'm not supposed to notice that. ha ha ha a-ha! Put it East of the Sun, West of the Moon) Kaleel was rescued by a ship belonging to the Eastern Alliance. It was not easy to persuade Commandant Leiter to take him aboard. Leiter had a very strong mind and didn't fall easily for Kaleel's false promises to help the Eastern Alliance. Kaleel was taken aboard, but put under heavy interrogation by Leiter. Most of the time, Kaleel just laughed in Leiter's face, but was serious when he needed to be. Kaleel's strong mind finally found a weak spot in Leiter's to con him into taking Kaleel to the Eastern Alliance HQ. Kaleel was taken to Supreme Commandant Dumbkopf. He had no problems breaking Dumbkopf's mind and replace him as leader of the Eastern Alliance. Dumbkopf ordered Leiter back out into space, far far away, to find the Galactica and capture it. Take all the E.A.'s ships if need be, but capture the Galactica. Galactica? Fleet of 220 ships? Humans searching for a home they may never find? Perfect. Just perfect victims for Kaleel to subjugate and follow him. They would believe anything he told them and would follow him. He'd have workers again just as he had back on Vistula. Yes, he had plenty of followers and was living quite well until a Captain William Buck Rogers foiled his plans. Five long years until he was able to escape the jail in New Chicago and flee out into space to find new followers. He killed those who may pose a threat to him at the Eastern Alliance. With former Supreme Commandant Dumbkopf as his puppet, he would have no worries. But to have more followers would make him all the more powerful. He had to have that fleet of ships. From what he heard from Leiter about the Galactica, that would be his personal fortress in the sky. Time to address his followers again. Dumbkopf informed him there would be over two thousand people today. Their belief in him united would aid in keeping the millions of others on the planet, who would be viewing this on live viewing feeds, under his control. He was dressed in his white robes and cape. The jewels holding his cape were a fiery red surrounded by diamonds. A purple cummerbund was around his waist. From behind stage, he heard his followers chanting, "Kaleel....... Kaleel.......Kaleel.......Kaleel......." Just a few more minutes. He had to wait until the time was just right, when the minds of his followers would be most vulnerable and cling to every word he said. "Kaleel.......Kaleel.......Kaleel.......Kaleel......." He walked out onto the stone stage. He had a mountain carved out as his primary audience chamber. It took only six months to have it done. A perfect place to preach from. The chanting grew even louder. He basked in it for another minute. Kaleel held up his hands to quiet the crowd. He began with his voice in a loud, commanding tone. "PEOPLE The day comes when we will Defeat The BATTLESTAR GALACTICA!! when we will reign SUPREME and be the MOST! POWERFUL! RACE! IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!" "Kaleel.......Kaleel.......Kaleel......." "SO! You must ready yourself my friends. Your moment is at HAAAAAAAND!! These people, they follow us. They track us. They believe they will defeat us! They are WRONG! With us United WE are POWERFUL! We are ONE! We are SUPREEEEEEEME!!!!!!" "Kaleel.......Kaleel.......Kaleel......." He allowed them to bite on that for a minute. They had to feel the power. They had to be united. He continued with whispers placed in between his spoken words. " We must weed out those who are weak. Those who do not believe Those who question our SUPREMACY! Those who question the TRUTH! We must show them the LIGHT!!! MAKE THEM BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!" "Kaleel.......Kaleel.......Kaleel.......Kaleel....... Kaleel.......Kaleel......."" Kaleel raised his hands high in the air. They began to glow red. The people knew what this meant. If there were any weak minds, any who did not believe in Kaleel, they would feel his touch of truth. It would paralyze them and slowly kill them. The chant grew stronger. "Kaleel.......Kaleel.......Kaleel.......Kaleel......." " We will rain upon the Galactica and its fleet like meteors. We will burn them We will show them that WE Are The Ones WHO WILL LEEEEAAAAAADDDD! They will join usssssssssssss Or they will DIE!" Little did Kaleel know that one of the people in the crowd was from the Galactica. It was closer than Kaleel could ever imagine. His speeches were being sent back to the Galactica on a tight, scrambled beam. Commander Adama watched on and shook his head in disbelief. "Tigh, my friend, these people are in worse shape than I thought. I'm glad he didn't kill anyone today." "I'm glad they haven't found the spy." "Maybe we should just lead a squadron of Cylons in during one of his speeches. They would save us so much work and shut that phony mouth of his." "I agree with you, Adama. I just hope its not contagious. Could you imagine Baltar like that?" Commander Adama just rolled his eyes, placed his head in his hand propped up on his desk, and shook his head back and forth. 'If Baltar was ever like that..............' ========================================================= "Biggie Biggie Biggie Biggie Biggie. Eat lead sucker!" "Lead? What lead? Twiki, what are you talking about?"