This second version does not have the spritis, ghosts, etc, watching over Starbuck as he teaches and tests Cy on dancing. Cylon Jive by Robert Hanczyk initial idea: FranCon: September 5, 1999 with the help of Dr. One-L's action figures and Sharon's silliness mixed with my chocolate rush. initial writing on paper: October 27, 1999 final writing: January 4, 2000 Cassiopea walked into the machinery supply room. Shelves and shelves stacked full of various parts for small to mid-size machines aboard the battlestar. Boxes, bags, cartons. Some labeled. Some not. Everything had identification numbers. Thankfully, Cassiopea knew where to go. She had been here before. All she needed was a replacement circuit board for a life system monitor. It was an easy repair job that anyone could do: slide out the malfunctioning board, pop in a new board. Not to mention, by the time the Galactica repair technicians had a chance to do a menial task, the Thirteenth Colony would be found. Cassiopea was plenty able to do the repair without even breaking a nail. The box she needed was along the back set of shelves near the right side corner. The aisle grew narrow as it reached the one end and turned. Cassiopea was a bit startled when she turned and saw Cy laying in a pool of liquid lubricant. Cy appeared to be functional to some degree. His red eye perpetually moved back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, quite mesmerizing. Cassiopea shook herself back to reality before completely falling into a trance. "Cy?" she called out as she walked over to the fallen tin. In a slow, slurred, almost incomprehensible tone, the Starbuck-rebuilt Cylon (another scheme Starbuck tried to pull to make an easy cubit: Starbuck-builts - "We build to serve.") muttered, "Wuuuuuuuu-maaaaaaaan." "Huh?" Cassiopea stopped short of the slowly spreading pool of yucky liquid. She did not care to do a slip-sliding away routine into a shelf of parts only to have it rain upon her fallen body. "Cy, speak to me. What are you talking about, 'Woman?' " Starbuck seemed to forget to finish the repair job when it came to Cy's voice circuits. It was not standard medtech training either. Otherwise, Cassiopea would have done it. There was nothing like a guy who was unable to spit out what he wanted to say. No response was audible from Cy. Some lubricant began to surround her right boot. Cassiopea put her hands on her hips, stepped back a few paces and shook her head in disgust. 'Men, the slobs of the galaxy. Let the women clean up everything,' she thought to herself. That was not fair to Cy. He was only a machine needing to be taught proper cleanliness etiquette. If she did not know better, Cassiopea would have thought Cy was drunk. Starbuck treated his new Cylon compatriot too much like a kid, teaching him the ways of manhood, and conning Cy to do all the work he was able to so Starbuck could play Pyramid. Cleaning was not in that work. Cassi marked that down as a future issue to "discuss" with Starbuck. She walked over to the Wallcom unit near the door and almost fell on her backside from lubricant now decorating her boot. "Ooooooooooo. Starbuck, when I get my hands on you." She yanked the unit off the wall mount. "Maintenance? We have a wee problem of a downed Cylon and a huge mess to be cleaned up out of Supply Room Tango. It needs cleaned up fast before it seeps out into the corridors. Got it?" She listened to the an over-exaggerated, drawn out reply from the man on the other end of the connection. "What? It can't wait until tomorrow. Look guy, this is a serious situation. Call it a machine medical emergency." Cassiopea was interrupted. "Uh, no. Don't even try it. I'll pull rank on you and have your toosh used as the cleaning pad. And that's a promise." Cassiopea slammed the unit back in place. All this for a simple circuit board? It was not worth it. There was a metal box to her left. Cassiopea sat down and shucked off her boot avoiding getting liquid lubricant anywhere else on her. Not wanting anything else to do with the gook, she flung her black boot down the aisle. It seemed the most appropriate thing to do. Cassiopea stood and hobbled her way out the door into the gray metal corridor. She totally forgot about why she was there in the first place. A few steps outside was all she needed to convince her to discard the other boot and continue on her way. When she turned the corner, a male warrior caught sight of her stocking feet and whistled. "Men!" "Looks like you're going back on duty." "Aw, but you can't mean this bruise isn't big enough to keep me off long range patrol. Couldn't it cause my blood to sort of slow and maybe knock me out while being all alone way out there?" Cassiopea shook her head with a smile. "If you broke your arm perhaps. Bruises from Triad practice just don't qualify. Now shoo out of here, Fudd. I have more important bruises to tend to." Reluctantly, the young First Junior Warrior slid off the Life Center bench and dragged his feet towards the door. Cassiopea patted him on the back as he walked away in disappointment. She tended to another patient. The door swooshed open obediently as FuddDeDud arrived only to reveal Cy. Fudd reached for his laser pistol by instinct. Unfortunately, it was in his locker along with his Warrior's uniform. Triad outfits were not exactly designed to carry weapons. Cy said, "Kuze," and walked past Fudd. He passed near the Life Center machines in an attempt to feel their electricity flowing. Nothing. What a voltage downer. The med-tech scanned another person's heart rate and blood flow. She heard the metal klanks and klunks on the deck. Turning from the sleeping patient, Cassiopea saw Cy. "What are you doing here, Cy? Remember we repair people here." Cy slowly said, "Star-buck said you tell me of Wu-man swing step." He stopped short of Cassiopea. His voice was so monotone it was unnerving at times. He did show an effort to stay away from patient beds near the primary monitoring console center. If only they would plug him into that monitor so he could experience the electricity routed through that machine, it would certainly energize him. A panel at the floor level of the console opened. A small pink wabbic wearing sunglasses, beating on a drum hung from his shoulders emerged from the opening. The little critter continuously beat the drum and waved a drum stick in the air as he passed Cy. The Cylon looked down as did Cassiopea. They watched the mysterious animal march out the door beating the drum. They looked up at each other. Cassiopea shrugged. "Woman swing step?" She walked over to an I-V System, turned a dial and toggled a switch. "Do you mean dancing?" Cassiopea keyed some information onto a chart pad and placed it on the narrow bed stand next to some bottled medicine. She reached for a scanner in her oversized pocket. Cy's red eye moved back and forth at a slightly faster rate. "Dan-Zing." He paused to calculate his next sentence. The human words were so difficult at times, especially when there were so many different languages for them. Cy was used to patterned sequences of on's and off's of electrical waves for communication back on the Baseship. "Star-buck said you show Dan-Zing." Cassiopea was a bit caught off-guard. She set the scanner on top of the chart pad on the stand and walked over to Cy. "Are you saying Starbuck sent you here so I could teach you to dance?" "Yes." "He's going to get it for this one. Why did he send you?" Cy picked up one foot and let it thunk heavily down onto the deck. He repeated the maneuver with his other foot. Cassiopea felt the vibrations in the floor from the weight of Cy's leg. It was quite shaky. "Okay. Okay. I see." She waved her hands to motion Cy to stop. No need to have the patients become scared. Cy's heavy steps reminded her of some old story. How did it go? A giant with a thunderous walk? Fee Fi Fo Fum? Giant chased all the people away? It was something like that. "Star-buck said dance with wu-man and not scare. Fit in. Bump hips." Cassiopea shook her head in bewilderment. "I don't think Cylons can dance." Cy's red light slowed considerably. "Do you think you can dance? Is it in your programming?" Cassiopea asked. "Yes. No." Cy stood without flinching in the slightest. Only his red eye movement conveyed any moods, not that machines have moods. Or do they? "How about this? You go get Starbuck. When I'm off duty, you can watch him and I dance. Okay?" It had been a while since they danced together. This was a great opportunity to pull him away from the Officer's Quarters and save some poor soul from losing all his money to the likes of Starbuck. Besides, Cassiopea wanted to swing in his arms again. "Now go." Cassiopea gently held Cy's right arm with one hand and pressed on his back with her other hand to put him in motion towards the door. "Have him call me to find out where to go. I'll bring the music. Oh, tell Starbuck it'll be a jam. Got it?" "Got it," Cy echoed as he walked through the doorway. Normally, people walking down the corridors of the Galactica were at ease. The coldness of space, being in the middle of nowhere, even the search for the lost tribe did not bother them much. They were use to it simply because there was nothing they were able to do to change it. There was some semblance of life. There was duty. There was rest and relaxation. Even during harrowing attacks, they knew their duty and responded properly. Exceptions were rare, but they did happen. As Cy dutifully marched down the corridor beside Starbuck, listening to his advice on how to handle women, people moved as far away as possible. It was noticeable even in those who did it nonchalantly. They had good reason. A Cylon should not have been on the Galactica unless it was in pieces in Dr. Wilker's lab. That was the rules of war. Right? Not anymore. Starbuck paid no heed. At first he tried to convince people that Cy was on their side now. His reasoning never worked. It was inscribed in a person's mind from the time of childhood; Cylons were the enemy. After a few sectons, he quit trying. They had to live with Cy like it or not. "With women, you have to be forceful, yet gentle. Strong, yet tender. In control, yet pleasing." In his monotone voice, Cy interrupted Starbuck's preaching. "Why do you speak opp-site?" "Huh? What are you talking about?" Starbuck stopped, inhaled a puff from his fumerello, and faced Cy. "What do you mean opposites?" Cy stood face to face with Starbuck. "Ten-der. Force-ful. Those are opp-site words." Starbuck nodded and resumed walking. Cy turned and followed suit hoping to have an answer. "Yeah, well, uh, I'll get to that in a micron. The man has to be in charge to protect the woman. He also has to care for the woman's needs. You see Cy, it is a man's duty to guide a woman and not scare her away. No no. We don't want to scare her. It's, um, the way the ah chemistry works between the sexes. They have their qualities. And we have ours." The last word resulted in a smile. "One is our brawn, our ability to lead. Hmpf. If you take Siress Tinia for example, she, uh, well she ah... Put it this way, she's a bad example. Why don't you say we forget about her. Let's try someone else." Two female Colonial Warriors walked down the hall busily chatting to themselves. That was until they saw Cy. The women fell into combat mode by reflex and had their hands ready to pull their laser blasters from the holsters. It was time for a plan. They whispered to each other thinking no one would hear them. They did not take into account Cy's audio receptors. "Why don't we do something about that?," the brunette asked. "I'll distract Starbuck." She glanced over in his direction, but he paid no heed. "You accidentally put a few dents in the Cylon." "I've known him longer. I'll do the distracting. I know some dark corners around here." The red head had a big smile on her face remembering the past. She added an extra swing to her hips. "We both could distract him." "Who would shoot the tin?" "We'd take care of that later." "That's a plan I can handle." They giggled and moved on. Cy put that information aside for later examination of wu-man. "....needs his strength. We need their softness." Starbuck was very animated in hand gestures as he spoke. He tried to imagine Cassiopea in his arms, seeing the heavens in her eyes, feeling the warmth of a nova from her love. "As much as I hate to admit this, and, ah, you didn't hear this from me," Starbuck whispered as he glanced around to make sure no one else was in the area. "If it weren't for them, we sorta wouldn't be here." In a slightly heartier tone, he added, "Of course, if it weren't for us, we wouldn't be here either. Hm. Neither would they. Interesting." Starbuck stopped short of the gray door and resumed his normal tone of voice. "That's a lesson for later. Look Cy, just watch what I do and ask me questions later. I'll show you how to really lift a girl's heart. Ready?" "I still do not un-der-stand you huuu-mans. I will watch." Cy stood still as if he were at attention. A light above him flickered for a micron and returned to normal luminosity. "Good. Let's do it." Starbuck pressed the door release panel on the right and walked through as the door opened. He stopped dead in his tracks. Cy walked right into him from behind. Starbuck stumbled forward and let out a cough from the impact. He could not believe what he saw. Cassiopea stood in the center of the Triad Court in a full length, medium blue dress. The sleeves were a very loose flowing style. Her blue shoes had a luster to them reflecting the light to highlight the brilliance of her dress and enhance her beauty even more. Cassiopea elegantly rolled out her arms and slowly extended them from her sides to their full length, palms out, fingers reaching high towards the ceiling. She turned her wrists to palms up with fingers still pointing upwards and lowered her hands halfway down her upper body as a way to present herself. The question to him was clear without being said. What do you think? Starbuck slowly walked in. It felt as if he had to absorb the sight before him. Actually, it was more of an admiration of beauty. His eyes seemed to bulge out and in a few times in amazement. It was breathtaking. He was so awestruck his tongue went AWOL. Words escaped him. He desperately wanted to tell her how lovely she was, how this night was heaven, how... how... how... There was no use trying to say it. Starbuck had to compose himself. For only a millicenton did he forget about Cassiopea. "Cy, stand off to the side. And hold this for me, would you?" Starbuck handed Cy the lit fumerello and stood a metron back from Cassi. He gracefully bowed to her in respect and took a deep breath. This was a tough thing to do. He had to untie his tongue and actually ask a question without stuttering. "May I have the next dance?" Surprised he was able to say that. "I'll have to think about it," she slyly replied with a smile. "What?!? Think?" So much for heaven. "I didn't know you were able to do that." "Why just for that, there will be no dance!" Her tone was defiant, her expression distressed. Starbuck broke out in a cold sweat. If he screwed this night up, he would never ever forgive himself. She probably would not either. It was time for quick talking to save his beleaguered hide. "What I meant to say was, I hope you think I am worthy enough to be accepted by your charm. I would be very much honored to have the next dance with the most beautiful woman in all the fleet." Cassiopea kept her expression very neutral at first. She knew the microns in wait probably felt like an eternity to Starbuck. Served him right for that flip remark. Although she had to partially blame herself for leading in to it. The smile appeared. Her eyes lit up. Her radiance glowed. "I am delighted to have you ask me. Yes, I will dance with you." "Cy if you would." Starbuck's gaze did not leave his partner. "If I would what?" "Put on the music, Cy! The music!!" This was not a time to worry about Cy's inability to infer. Cassiopea was his and he hers. Cy obeyed. The music was a gentle rhythm for a slow type of a round dance. Starbuck stepped up to Cassiopea, gently took her right hand in his left, and wrapped his right arm around her. They allowed the music to flow through them, to separate them from reality, to take them away. Starbuck waited a few beats to begin. He made to first step with Cassiopea directly in time with him. He lead the way around the Triad court in boxes, turns, swings, tilts and more, never averting his eyes from hers. The court disappeared. A prairie with the smell of a new morning took over. Flowers of all colors were randomly scattered throughout the field. The sounds of nature were plentiful. A gentle breeze carried the music of life and love. It was paradise with only two people. Cassiopea was swept off her feet by Starbuck's smooth movements. She never had a doubt which way to step. His lead was obvious yet so subtle. Wherever he learned to dance gave him the gift of an art. No one would ever know a man of Starbuck's reputation had such a romantic spirit deep down inside. He disguised it very well. Unfortunately, the first piece of music came to an end. It was an excellent beginning for them. The second piece began. It had a slightly faster tempo and a three-beat rhythm. Cy watched and recorded every move Starbuck and Cassiopea made. To them, he was totally forgotten. Good thing he did not know about that. Cy raised the fumerello to "eye" level and analyzed it. He had no idea why a hu-man inhaled dead, dried up leaves. Another question to ask Starbuck at a later date. The lit end continued to slowly burn away with only a little bit of smoke raising in the air. Cy brought the lit end to where his mouth would be if he had one. Nothing changed. It made absolutely no sense to him. The only thing to do was lower his hand and not smash the rolled leaves. When Starbuck was finished dancing, he could have it back. It was useless to Cy. Over twenty centons of dancing to various styles of pleasant music ensued. "Okay, Cy. That's all there is to it. Think you can manage?" Starbuck stepped back from Cassiopea with reluctance. He held onto her fingers as long as possible. It seemed the last thin string of life had broken. That had to be fixed later. "I will try to dance like you. How do I start?" His monotone voice had all the enthusiasm as a piece titanium. Cy continued to stand in place stiff as the wall behind him. Starbuck waved him over to the center of the Triad court. "First of all, get over here." He waited and thought about how to start a dancing lesson for a Cylon. It certainly was not an easy task. The klunks the Cylon made on the hard white floor were a harsh reminder. Starbuck faced Cy. Cassiopea stood next to Starbuck remembering what just happened between them. "Cy. Hold your left arm up like this. Keep your hand open. You don't want to crush her fingers. Cassi will hold onto your hand." Cassiopea broke away from her sweet dancing lull. "I will?!?" she interrupted. "Yes. Please. I don't dance with other men." Starbuck did not let Cassiopea protest about Cy being a machine, not a man. He turned back to Cy. "When she's holding your hand, you'll have to drape your right arm around and let her slide in but not too close." "Ah, excuse me, Sire Starbuck." The last two words had a bite to them. Cassiopea was still a little hot under the collar and not allowing Starbuck to make an escape from her initial protest.. "I'm not going to let myself be crushed by his arm. Not to mention, this was supposed to be you and I dancing only. There was no talk about me dancing with him. No offense, Cy." Starbuck put his index finger up in Cy's direction. "Ah, Cy, will you wait there for a micron?" In his slow, monotone, emotionless voice, Cy replied, "Do I have a choice?" The humans would not know it, but he did have a note of sarcasm behind the statement. Starbuck gently pulled Cassiopea off towards the door to the court. He lowered his voice to a mere whisper. "Please work with me on this. I'm trying to let him fit in better. It's not often you see a Cylon taking away the floor with a girl. Come to think of it, it's not often you see a Cylon dancing. That's why I have this duty to perform." "Don't give me that felgercarb! You're trying to make him look like a fool so you can laugh it up and have something to talk about over Pyramid and grog." She crossed her arms defiantly. "Now that's not it at all." Starbuck's voice was his patented explaining-off-the-seat-of-his-pants voice. He always did so well worming his way out of trouble. This would be no different. "Cy saved my life back on my planet. This is the least I could do for him. I didn't rebuild him twice for nothing. Let me tell you." "You already did. It's a lonely place down there. A Cylon was your only company. It was also to your advantage since he didn't eat." His mouth hung open. "Yeah, I guess I, um, did tell you that. Well, can you blame me?" Starbuck did not let her answer. "I promise I'll make this up to you." "How?" It was time to switch voices again. The aura of Starbuck's charm kicked in. "It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you." In truth., he had no idea how to pay he back for this one. There was nothing like digging a deep hole for yourself. "And I'll tell you this. Dancing with Cy will be a lost memory when I give it, oh ah, when you have your surprise." He might as well have dug himself in deep. It wasn't going to become any worse. "You better." "I will." Starbuck softly kissed her cheek. She did not look satisfied at all. A gentle kiss to the lips followed and sealed his word. And his fate. They returned over to Cy, who had heard the whole thing. "Will you laugh at me dan-zing? Are you to make fun of me?" "Laugh at you? No, no, why no, Cy. I'm not going to laugh at you." Starbuck made a mental note to do something about the Cylon's hearing. "Listen. You should have seen me when I was first learning how to dance out on the streets. People laughed at me. But I kept practicing with my ghost partner until I danced like the best dancer on the planet. I laughed back at them. Trust me when I tell you Cy, I will not laugh at you." Cy did not say a word. Did he really believe what Starbuck was saying? The pause unnerved Starbuck enough. "Really I won't!!" "I trust you," Cy replied. "Good. Now, let's try this again. Stand with your feet under your shoulders and your left arm up, but bent like this." Starbuck took his place across from Cy and demonstrated how to stand. Cassiopea stood slightly behind him and off to his left. She made no movement towards taking a stance. She only watched as Cy imitated Starbuck's position. "Good. Good. Now hold your right arm out." Starbuck lifted his elbow so it was almost to the level of his shoulder, and allowed his forearm to point down at a 40 degree angle. His palm faced his chest. If Cassiopea was in his arms again, his right arm would reach below her underarm and his hand at the base of her back shoulder bone. Part of leading a dance depended on where he guided the lady with his right arm. "Keep a stiff upper body. That shouldn't be hard for you." No pun intended on Starbuck's part. "You're going to do many different steps. She has to know where you're going so you don't tramp her down." He did not mean it literally either. But in Cy's case, it was possible. Starbuck watched as Cy took the stance. "Up and little more with your elbow. A little more. Bend your arm in some. Good. Now pretend there is a woman standing in your arm like this. Cassi, if you will." He gestured for her to join him, not Cy. Her demeanor turned to one of delight as she stood in proper position in Starbuck's arms ready to begin the dance. Cassiopea closed her eyes returning to that dream paradise of only her, Starbuck and nature. Too bad Starbuck was not going to begin the dance. "Thank you, Cassi. Would you stand back where you were?" He released her much to her own displeasure. She did not say a word though. Starbuck quickly added, "Pretend we're dancing again. In a centon, we'll get to it." Starbuck moved over to Cy's left side and took the same position. Cy moved only his head to follow Starbuck. "Cassiopea, would you please turn on the first song? Ready, Cy?" "Ready." "Do what I do." The music began. Starbuck closed his eyes and allowed the beat of the music to encompass him. On the fifth beat he swayed one step left. Cy made a short, hard klunk to the left. Starbuck quickly opened his eyes and glanced towards Cy without moving his head. He swayed right. Cy klanked right. Starbuck swayed forward one step, and back. Cy was able to move the same distance forward, but stuttered backwards almost falling. A Cylon's leg joints were only designed for progressive, forward movement. "Cut the music." Starbuck crossed his right arm in front of his chest, put his left elbow on top his right hand, and sunk his face into his left hand. "Please." He never thought about how a Cylon walks. There was no need to. So how in Hades was Cy going to dance? He walked over to Cassiopea and took the stance. "Would you please, but without the music?" She made no harsh comments. The frustration in his face was evident. Besides, Cassiopea had a plan to hold Starbuck in with her, not her with Cy. She took her position wrapped in his arms. "Thank you." Starbuck closed his eyes and relaxed. Cassiopea could feel his body even more than before and sense what he was going to do. There was a slow weeble and wobble as he imagined the dance steps. His upper body stiffened signaling the dance was to begin. Starbuck tried to picture himself as Cy and began the dance they first did. He pretended his legs were that of a Cylon and slowed down his dance speed to half of what it was. He repeated a single set of moves a half dozen times before changing to another step. Cassiopea said nothing, but continued to follow his lead. Another box. It was a troubled step. Another sway. It was slightly unsteady. He raised his left hand and lead her through a surprising twirl. His breathing was heavier than it should have been. Back to a sway left and right. Very slowly he brought the dance to a halt. Cassiopea took her right hand off the top of his arm and wrapped it around his waist. She gently squeezed his hand and put her head on his chest. A wave of good cheer, confidence, understanding and support poured out of her body into his. Cassi forgot about Starbuck's remarks. Even his setting her up to dance with Cy became unimportant. He needed her comfort. And so he received it. Starbuck took a slow, deep breath. He was ready. With a gentle kiss on the top of her head, Starbuck released Cassiopea. He let her know how he felt by a simple look in his eyes. His trouble was only a momentary lapse of reason. He went back over to Cy's left side and acted as a professional instructor. "Let's take position again. When I say left, do this." Starbuck swayed left. "When I say right, do this." Starbuck swayed right. "Forward. Back. Got it?" "Got it." Cy's monotone voice would never be able to tell a joke. Starbuck moved in front of Cy and faced him as a teacher should. "Left." There was no bend in Cy's knee area. The whole leg moved like a stick. Klank. "Cy try bending your knee when you side step. Right." He watched Cy's knee bend a little. It caused Cy to move forward a bit as he side stepped right. "Left." Starbuck took two large steps back to give Cy room. "Right. Put your foot down lightly. Don't stomp the floor. Don't try to put your foot through the deck. Remember, you're going to be dancing with a lady. You don't want to hurt her. Forward." That was okay. "Back." Starbuck had a plan. "Okay. This is going to take plenty of lessons just to teach you the basics. Do you still want to learn how to dance?" "It was your idea," Cy replied with such innocence. It was a true statement, but caught Starbuck off guard. "Yeah, it was. Okay. Cy, on my next time off period, we're going to have to do something to improve your leg joints. Until then, I think I know something that may work. Be back in half a flash." Starbuck darted out through the door to one of the adjoining rooms of the Triad court. He found a tool box in the repair cubicle. He pulled out a bottle of lubricant and returned quickly to the Triad court to give some to Cy. He applied extra lubricant to Cy's knees. A few drops trickled onto the Triad court floor. Starbuck imagined himself hitting it during the most important game of a series, legs flying up from underneath him, and landing on his back hard on the deck allowing the other team to score the winning point with the buzzer sound to end the game. That was not good. He abruptly returned to the repair cubicle and retrieved a cloth to clean up that and any further mess. "Ready? Let's try this again. Left. And remember to step softly, very softly." Starbuck had a little hope when he saw Cy's step was slightly smoother although not much. "Right." It appeared a few bolts at the joints would need loosened. "Try to bend your knee a little more and lean your body some, but don't fall over. Left." Bolts definitely needed loosened. "Right." Would Cy tumble? "Front and back." Weebled. Wobbled, but no fall down. "Starbuck, this is not going to work. He needs more mobility just to dance alone. I can't imagine him dancing with a woman." There was nothing like a woman getting right to the point. "Well, we'll work on it. It appears it will take a little longer than expected, but I have faith." "Faith in Cy or yourself?" Starbuck returned only a glare. "Cy, I think we know what we need to do. I want you to practice those four basic steps. All the other ones are built on those. After we enhance your legs and arms, it should work much better." Over the next few sectons, in between patrols, after games of Pyramid and Triad, while cadets were on combat training flights and any other free time Starbuck had, he kept at his project of teaching Cy to dance. The Cylon manual he brought back from Planet Starbuck was a bible. He worked with Dr. Wilker on improving the joints in Cy's body to be more mobile. More lessons in the Triad court led to finer improvements for the joints. Adjusting pressure fluids in various sections of Cy's body enabled softer touches on the floor. No more stomps, thunks and klunks. Starbuck left Cy with as many recordings of music as possible that he thought would help. One day it was one type of dance. The next day it was another. By keeping the music grouped together in types of rhythm, he explained and even demonstrated the different movements to go with the music, how to count the beats, how to know when to move and when not to. Word made its way around the battlestar. Various people peeped into the Triad Court from the stands area to catch a glimpse of what was happening. They watched Starbuck and Cassiopea dance. They were unable to believe when Cassiopea joined Cy as Starbuck called out the moves to do. Cy learned how to be gentle with women. A really big portion of lectures went to randomizing moves. Cy was a machine. He followed a sequenced order of dance steps never varying from it. Starbuck had to explain how to randomize the moves, surprise the lady and still keep the lead so she knows where to go. That was part of the fun of dancing. Feelings of fun were foreign to Cy. He did not have a heart. He did not know joy. Instead, the goal was to make to woman happy. If she smiled, Cy knew he performed well. "Cy, this is it. Next time, you have to dance without me saying a single word. All your steps, all your movements, everything you do will be yours alone to decide. If you pass the test, and I know you will, you'll be the first Cylon machine in history to dance." Starbuck applauded. "I can do it." "Yes you can." A secton elapsed for Cy to practice steps and review music. He knew every piece ever played during the practice sessions. He perfectly matched what dance moves were performed with what musical pieces. It became obvious that no sequence of steps for any single piece of music was identical to any other playing. This was even true when they practiced dancing to the same piece two or three consecutive times. It puzzled Cy. He reviewed all the statements made by Starbuck and Cassiopea to pick the step sequence they approved of the most for each song. Cylon logic dictated if an action is approved of once, it will be approved again. Cassiopea was detained for a medical matter at Life Center. She prayed they did not start dancing without her as some practices had in the past. This was a day to remember. It dawned on her when she left the Life Center how they could not and would not start without her. Cassi was Cy's dance partner for this test. Had her mind not been so preoccupied by her duties, she would have thought of that sooner. They did not. Cassiopea walked onto the court wearing her medical uniform instead of a party dress. Starbuck was in his Warrior's uniform. There was an extra shine to Starbuck's laser pistol though. The light brightly bounced off it as a reminder of its presence. "You had us worried," Starbuck whispered in her ear as they hugged. "You weren't worried. You never are." "But I was. I'm so excited about this. It's not only a test for him, it's one for my teaching abilities. This isn't like teaching a cadet to fly a shuttle." He let her go. "Are you ready, Cy?" He stood stiffly in place. "Yes." Cy's red eye did not even alter. Starbuck pulled out a special recording from his jacket pocket and inserted it into the music player. There was no hiding the big grin on his face. "Assume position." Cassiopea met Cy in the middle of the court. They did not say a word to each other. Cy put his arms into position so Cassiopea could slide in. "It's your show." Starbuck started the music and tried to stifle a chuckle. Cy knew a couple notes were to pass before the first move. However, what he heard was not any of the music played when they practiced. It did not even sound similar to anything in his memory. It was not a slow piece, nor a fast one. That confused him even more. Was it a three beat rhythm, a four beat or more? Should he do a quick quick slow? A slow slow quick quick? Slow quick slow quick? Quick slow slow quick? Or what? Nine beats of music passed and Cy had not moved. It was not noticed by Starbuck. He puffed away on his fumerello quite merrily making rings, spheres and ellipses with the smoke. This part of teaching had to be the easiest. What else did the teacher have to do besides relax? Cassiopea noticed how Cy froze. She whispered, "Cy, start dancing." Cy was still unsure what to do. He did one last comparison and analysis of what was playing to everything used during practice sessions. The first, fifth and ninth notes were slow. He decided to use what he found was closest in the medium rhythm category. On the thirteenth beat, he did a left turn. It was a little clumsy for Cy. Cassiopea almost missed it but followed through. A right turn was next. Cy was a little more coordinated. He did a few sways and moved on to progressive steps. It was only about half way through the music when Starbuck began to pay attention to his student. For the rest of the song, the dance steps matched identically to a practice session Cy picked. This was one lucky Cylon. Almost all the moves were in line with the music. Only in a few instances did he mistime a step. The important part of this dance proved Cy no longer thunked the floor without Starbuck telling him first. It was already ingrained into his programming to do gentle steps not only on the dance floor, but everywhere no matter what ship he was on. "Next one, Cy. Hope your ready to Hustle. This one will really make you Swing. Get my meaning, Cass?" "Uh-huh." The second piece was one from a practice session. Cy immediately matched up a sequence of moves and began on time. It was a flawless performance time wise. Cassiopea had the grace and beauty of the dance. The Cylon at least had a stiff upper body for the lead. He was far from eloquently perfect. At least there was much progress from the first wobbly dance practice oh so long ago. More importantly, Cy did not crush Cassiopea as Starbuck so frequently reminded him in the past. The third and final dance was an uptempo mix of a lovers dance. Cy was off the mark for the first four measures. He knew which practice dance sequence to use, but not at the tempo being played. Cassiopea stepped on his feet twice. She placed a little more distance between their bodies even though they were in a closed position. Mathematical computations raced through Cy's circuits to compare the differences in time. Once calculated, he adjusted the memory pattern and finished the dance. Starbuck applauded Cy for the dance. He pulled his fumerello from his mouth and kept it in hand. The smoke he exhaled slowly drifted upwards. "Originality is not one of your finer points. I'm not sure what we're going to do about that. Do you know how we can make you better in being original?" "I am on-ly first lev-el Cy-lon," Cy reminded him. "If I per-form all my tasks perf-ect-ly and sa-tis-fy Imp-eer-i-ous Lead-er, I may move up to a sec-ond lev-el Cy-lon." "Oh?!? Why didn't you tell me this before?" "You did not ask." Starbuck shook his head. "Sorry, but there is no Imperious Leader here. We'll see what we can do. Back to dancing. You are a little slow to start, but seem to catch on quick enough. Your body is stiff. You lead Cassiopea through the dances well enough, but you lack in grace. And let me guess. A second level Cylon has more graceful movements." "No. Cy-lons do not have grace. That is a huuu-man qual-ty." "Too bad. Unless we take a load of metal out of you and not make you so bulky, you may not learn grace. There is good news, Cy." Starbuck took another puff from his fumerello and slowly blew it out. "I think you can dance on the Rising Star now. What do you think, Cassi?" "I think he can do. But you know what he really needs?" She had a devil of a smile upon asking. "What's that?" Starbuck thought hard. He worked so hard with Dr. Wilker to enable Cy to do dance moves. What else did he need besides more improvements in flexibility, lessons in grace, and somehow learn to be original? "A woman Cylon to dance with." Starbuck almost slapped himself. "Good idea. Where are we going to find one? Cy?" "There is on-ly one form of Cy-lon." "Didn't any of the Imperious Leaders design women?" "No." Cy was not at all hurt by the fact of human men having women counterparts and Cylons didn't. That was merely a simple and accepted fact of Cylon life. To serve the Empire was all that mattered. "At least you can dance on your own. Congratulations, Cy, for being the first dancing Cylon." Starbuck applauded again with Cassiopea joining him. She'd hug Cy if it would mean anything. To the Cylon, it would not. Instead she hugged Starbuck. He almost lost his fumerello. "By all that's holy, what am I going to do about a woman Cylon? I made a female trolley.1 Guess I'll have to make a female Cylon. My work is never done. Cass, when was the last time you operated on a Cylon?"------- You have just entered the Boogie Cylon Jive zone Where all your steps are unreal, never your own. Where your feet are put where they never were before Where endless beats rumble through the floor Where perpetual flashing lights invade your brain Where one morning you wake up totally insane From now until the end of time You never stop the swing, boogie or jive. The End What did you think of the story? Were there enough laughs in it? All feedback greatly appreciated by Robert, hanczykr@verizon.net 1 See the fourth story in the BSG/Mr. Rogers series: _Mr Trolley, the Capture_