Battlestar Galactica: The Audio Plays Episode Three: "Battlestar vs Battlestar" Story by Steven Today Script by Steven Today ROUGH DRAFT Circa 1979 FINAL DRAFT September 8, 1998 Battlestar Galactica characters, names, situations and the Battlestar Galactica universe are the property of Universal Studios. I nor this script are connected with Universal Studios in any way, shape or form. Story contents are Copyright 1979-1998 by Steven Today (krankor@megsinet.net) All rights reserved. This document must remain fully intact and may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used for not-for-profit entertainment purposes and is not intended to infringe on any Copyrights. BATTLESTAR VS BATTLESTAR! FADE IN COUNT IBIS (VOICE OVER): There are those who believe that life here began out there, far across the universe. With tribes of humans who may have been the forefathers of the Egyptians, or the Toltecs, or the Mayans. That they may have been the architects of the great pyramids, or the lost civilizations Lemur or Atlantis. Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man who even now fight to survive far, far amongst the stars. [BATTLESTAR GALACTICA THEME] [STARRING THEME] [GALACTICA] [KNOCKING] CASSIOPEIA (THROUGH DOOR, CONCERNED): Starbuck. STARBUCK (BLUNT): I'm not here. [HATCH] STARBUCK (ANGRY): What do you want? CASSIOPEIA (BLUNT): We had a date. STARBUCK (ANGRY): I know we did but I've been busy! CASSIOPEIA (CONFUSED): Busy sitting in your room? STARBUCK (ANNOYED): No! Watching the news. REPORTER (BLUNT, OVER MONITOR): On the lighter side of the news. The Battlestar Pegasus has been spotted once again and is scheduled to rendezvous with us soon. On a tragic note, one of our new cadets was killed on a moon by Cylons even in the attempt of- STARBUCK (ANNOYED): Oh turn it off! REPORTER (OVER MONITOR): Lieutenant Starbuck. The cadet was under the command of him when his Viper- [CLICK] STARBUCK (ANNOYED): I killed him. I should have never left the cadets go off on their own. They were all killed by that Cylon base. They were under my command. It was my fault. And because of that I'm quitting the force. CASSIOPEIA (SHOCKED): What? STARBUCK (ANNOYED): That's right, I'm not going to be a Warrior anymore. A Warrior saves lives, he does not destroy them. CASSIOPEIA (CONFUSED): But- STARBUCK (ANNOYED): I'm going to the Commander now. [HATCH] STARBUCK (BLUNT): Commander. Do you have a centon? ADAMA (PLEASED): Why of course. STARBUCK (UNEASY): Well, um, I just want to tell you that. Er, I'm quitting as a, ah, Warrior. I will have it in writing in a centar. ADAMA (SHOCKED): Lieutenant- STARBUCK (BLUNT): Commander. From now on it will be Mister Starbuck. ADAMA (SHOCKED): As you wish. [FOOTSTEPS] TIGH (BLUNT): Commander, 200 centons until we rendezvous with the Pegasus. [PEGASUS] KRUGER (BLUNT): Commander Cain we are picking up a Viper fleeing from Cylon baseships. CAIN (CONCERNED): Pursuit? KRUGER (BLUNT): There was some but as it neared us the Cylon Raiders turned back. The Viper is alone out there, heavily damaged. So much so it can't land on its own. CAIN (CONCERNED): Launch a recovery force with full fighter escort. KRUGER (BLUNT): Yes sir. [COLONIAL VIPERS LAUNCH] [SHUTTLE LAUNCH] KRUGER (BLUNT): Viper has been recovered aboard, Commander. Life signs aboard are erratic. The rescue team is now trying to extract the pilot. [VIPER CANOPY OPEN] RESCUE WORK (CONFUSED): What the. There is nothing inside. This is weird. [PEGASUS] KRUGER (BLUNT): Commander. The rescue team reports that. That. Oh. [COLLAPSE] CAIN (SHOCKED): Kruger! Quick! Get a med-tech up here fast! [BEEPS] TECH (CONCERNED): Sickbay reports a rash of crew members collapsing all over the ship. CAIN (CONFUSED): What in the twelve worlds is going on? [BASESHIPS] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command, Spectre. The Pegasus has recovered the Viper we sent out. By all estimates the virus should have terminated all life forms on the Battlestar. SPECTRE (ELECTRONIC, PLEASED): Good. Launch the boarding party and move in to secure the Pegasus. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [CYLON RAIDERS FLYBY] CAIN (COUGHING): You Cylon feldercarbs. You won't get Commander Cain without a fight. [MISSILES LAUNCH] [LARGE EXPLOSIONS] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command, Spectre,. The Pegasus managed to launch it's missiles before it could be completely taken over. SPECTRE (CONCERNED): Damage? CENTURION (ROBOTIC): One of our baseships was destroyed but the Pegasus has been secured and all self-terminating systems have been deactivated. SPECTRE (PLEASED): Good. Keep me informed. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your Command. [GALACTICA] ATHENA (CONFUSED): Commander. I was picking up sonic disturbances in the direction of the Pegasus but now nothing. TIGH (BLUNT): I suggest a fighter probe. ADAMA (BLUNT): Agreed. [LAUNCH BAY] RIGEL (URGENT, OVER LOUDSPEAKERS): Launch bay alpha. Standby to launch fighter probe. [COLONIAL VIPERS LAUNCH] [VIPER FLYBY] APOLLO (BLUNT): Base, this is blue Leader. No luck contacting the Pegasus. We're going in for a closer look. [VIPER FLYBY] [LASER TURRETS FIRE] APOLLO (EXCITED): Look out! [EXPLOSION] APOLLO (URGENT): Blue Leader to base! The Pegasus has just destroyed one of our Vipers! We are under attack! We're pulling out! [VIPER FLYBY] ATHENA (SHOCKED): Commander! The Pegasus has opened fired of the fighter probe! They destroyed one of our ships! ADAMA (URGENT): Battle stations! [SIRENS] COMPUTER (ELECTRONIC): This is Pegasus to approaching craft. This ship has a deadly disease aboard. You are not to come near. We will hold up here until we have isolated the disease. APOLLO (URGENT): This is Blue Leader, we are returning to base. [PEGASUS] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command, Spectre. The Vipers are retreating and are returning to the Galactica. SPECTRE (PLEASED): Good. Focus all of our sensors on the Galactica. I don't want any surprises. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [GALACTICA] STARBUCK (BLUNT): Here it is, Commander. In writing. Hey, what is going on here? ADAMA (BLUNT): The Pegasus. STARBUCK (CONFUSED): What about her? ADAMA (BLUNT): I'm sorry, Mister Starbuck. This is a military matter. Not for civilians. STARBUCK (TAKEN ABACK): Oh. I see. Well, I'll be seeing you all. [FOOTSTEPS] APOLLO (CONCERNED): What are we going to do about Starbuck? We just can't let him leave. ADAMA (BLUNT): I have a plan. [LAUNCH BAY] RIGEL (URGENT, OVER LOUDSPEAKERS): Launch shuttle and fighter protection. [VIPER LAUNCH] [SHUTTLE LAUNCH] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command, Spectre. Vipers and a shuttle are approaching. SPECTRE (BLUNT): Again? Play the computer warning and stand by on the turrets. But this time try not to hit them, just give them a warning. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [VIPER FLYBY] [SHUTTLE FLYBY] COMPUTER (ELECTRONIC): This is Pegasus to approaching ships. This ship has a deadly disease aboard. You are not to come near. We will hold up here until we have isolated the disease. [LASER TURRETS FIRING] [VIPER FLYBY] [SHUTTLE FLYBY] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): Spectre. It is not working. The craft is still approaching. SPECTRE (BLUNT): They did not attack last time we destroyed a ship. Target the shuttle. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [LASER TURRETS FIRING] [EXPLOSION] PILOT (BLUNT): Base, this is fighter escort. We lost the med shuttle, we're coming home. [VIPER FLYBY] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): Spectre. The remaining ships have retreated. SPECTRE (STERN): Good. Keep the sensors on the Galactica. Now that we have destroyed two ships they we try something. Call for yellow alert. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [SIRENS] [GALACTICA] ATHENA (BLUNT): Commander. The Med-Tech shuttle was destroyed. The Viper escort is returning. [VIPERS LAND] STARBUCK (BLUNT): There. All I have to do is pack up my Warrior's equipment and it will be official. I'm feeling better already. Now I'll have enough time to pursue my favorite hobby. Gambling. [KNOCKING] [HATCH] STARBUCK (CONFUSED): Yes? MESSENGER (BLUNT): Orders. STARBUCK (CONFUSED): But I'm not a warrior anymore. MESSENGER (BLUNT): Orders! STARBUCK (CONFUSED): Okay, okay. [HATCH] STARBUCK (CONFUSED): Hmmm. A top secret message from Commander Adama. But why? [BEEP] ADAMA (BLUNT, OVER SCREEN): Dear Mister Starbuck. We have gone over the computer register of the fleet and have found you have had the most space walking experience in the fleet. We have a special mission for you. STARBUCK (ANNOYED): Frac I did! Jolly was on a refueling station for two yahrens! I bet Apollo had something to do with this to try and get me back as a Warrior. But it won't. Wait a centon. It says it is top secret, he wouldn't lie about that. It must be important and I guess I can go on one last mission. [GALACTICA] STARBUCK (CONFUSED): Commander, I hope you didn't mind I wore my uniform. ADAMA (PLEASED): No, it is okay. STARBUCK (BLUNT): Good, now shoot the feldercarb. [LAUNCH BAY] RIGEL (URGENT, OVER LOUDSPEAKERS): Section twelve. Launch bay alpha. Stand by to launch probe. STARBUCK (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): Knowledge. Ready to launch. RIGEL (URGENT, OVER LOUDSPEAKERS): Core systems transferring control to probe craft. Launch when ready. [SHUTTLE LAUNCH] [VIPER/SHUTTLE FLYBY] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command, Spectre. Colonial ships approaching. SPECTRE (BLUNT): Can't these humanoids learn from their mistakes? Prepare the turrets for warning shots. Also, activate the warning. I will inform Baltar. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [VIPERS FLYBY] COMPUTER (ELECTRONIC): This is Pegasus to approaching ships. This ship has a deadly disease aboard. You are not to come near. We will hold up here until we have isolated the disease. [LASER TURRETS] [BEEP] BALTAR (PLEASED): Report Spectre. SPECTRE (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): By your command. More Vipers are approaching us. But I'm not giving excuses. Though it will probably mean we will be discovered and this far out we would ultimately destroyed. I'm willing to sacrifice my circuits for one of the greatest leaders of the empire. You, Baltar. BALTAR (REASSURING): Now, now Spectre. Don't be so hard on yourself. For your work so far you have done a wonderful job. SPECTRE (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): Why thank you. Coming from you that is very meaningful. I will do my best. By your command. [BEEP] BALTAR (PLEASED): This Spectre has done rather well. Don't you agree, Lucifer? LUCIFER (ELECTRONIC, ANNOYED): Oh Feldercarb. [SHUTTLE FLYBY] [TONE] APOLLO (BLUNT): That's it. Let's go. STARBUCK (CONCERNED): I sure hope the Pegasus has its scanners pointed towards the fleet and not back here. APOLLO (BLUNT): Well, on both probes they were. [HATCH] [SHUTTLE] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command, Spectre. A shuttle has just passed from behind us. SPECTRE (CONFUSED): What was it's origination? CENTURION (ROBOTIC): Unknown with all sensors focused on the Colonial Fleet. SPECTRE (CONFUSED): Switch sensors to omni-directional. Report any new ships in the vicinity. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [TURRETS FIRE] [VIPERS FLYBY] [SHUTTLE FLYBY] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command, Spectre. No other ships in the vicinity. The Colonial Vipers and Shuttle are retreating back to the fleet. SPECTRE (PLEASED): Good. They are no match for a battlestar. Now maybe they will send the Galactica to investigate and then we can destroy it once and for all. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [PEGASUS] STARBUCK (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): Apollo. There is an airlock over here we can get into. Throw me your tether line. [HATCH] APOLLO (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): Just in case this disease thing is true be had better keep on our suits. STARBUCK (SHOCKED, OVER RADIO): Wait. Someone is coming. [CENTURIONS] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): Spectre expects more encounters with the Colonials. Make sure all laser turrets are charged and functioning. STARBUCK (SHOCKED, OVER RADIO): Cylons! CENTURION (ROBOTIC): Human Pests! [LASER BATTLE] STARBUCK (EXCITED, OVER RADIO): There are too many of them! APOLLO (EXCITED, OVER RADIO): Let's get out of here! [LASER BATTLE] SPECTRE (EXCITED): What! Humans aboard! Red alert! Prepare the crews to launch the fighters! CENTURION (ROBOTIC): But we have not lured out the Galactica. SPECTRE (PLEASED): We have lost the element of surprise. Now prepare them! CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [SIREN] [TYPING] APOLLO (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): You find anything? STARBUCK (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): Unfortunately. According to the ship's records the Pegasus recovered some Viper and brought her on board. No one was found in the fighter but right after that people started getting sick and dying. APOLLO (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): There must have been some killer virus in that ship. I'm glad we kept our suits on. STARBUCK (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): My thoughts exactly. But why take over the battlestar? Why not just destroy it? APOLLO (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): It's too valuable. They could learn our technology. Find a weakness. STARBUCK (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): But once you are in control why hang around here? Why not high tail it to safety or at least bring in some baseships. APOLLO (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): I don't know. They're Cylons. Anything is possible. STARBUCK (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): One thing is for sure. We can't let them keep the Pegasus. APOLLO (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): You got that. And we must warn the Galactica of the Viper virus trick. [PEGASUS] SPECTRE (EXCITED): A signal going out from this ship towards the Colonial Fleet? CENTURION (ROBOTIC): Affirmative. SPECTRE (EXCITED): It must be those humans that were spotted. Find them and terminate them at once! CENTURION (ROBOTIC): It is too late. Sensors indicate a massive Viper strike force is converging on us. SPECTRE (EXCITED): Launch the fighters. Have all weapons open fire when they come in range. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [SIREN] APOLLO (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): All we have to do is blow this cooling unit and. [LASER] [SMALL EXPLOSION] APOLLO (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): And there is no stopping it. All the thrusters go up in fifteen centons. STARBUCK (CONCERNED, OVER RADIO): Then lets get a move on! [BASESHIPS] LUCIFER (SMUG): Still no word. BALTAR (BLUNT): I'm sure Spectre will contact us if he has anything to report . LUCIFER (SMUG): Perhaps he feels his reports will not be received satisfactorily by you Baltar. BALTAR (BLUNT): What are you implying Lucifer? LUCIFER (SMUG): It has come to my attention that- BALTAR (BLUNT): Lucifer. Do you wish me to believe that Spectre would submit false progress reports? LUCIFER (SMUG): Speaking from past experience, I would not say it is beyond his programming. BALTAR (LAUGHING): Ha, ha, ha. Lucifer I do believe you are jealous. LUCIFER (ANNOYED): Such reactions are not programmed into I-L series circuitry. [CENTURION] CENTURION (ROBOTIC): Commander. Spectre reporting. [BEEP] BALTAR (PLEASED): Ah, Spectre. Have you lured the Galactica out yet? SPECTRE (EXCITED, OVER RADIO): Regrettably, no. Somehow the Galactica has been warned, not by my doing of course. Must be a new sensor system they have developed. I'm totally blameless. LUCIFER (ANNOYED): Oh feldercarb. SPECTRE (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): As we speak the Vipers of the Galactica are bearing down on us. We are counterattacking the best we can but we are so unfamiliar with this craft we are doomed. In fact much so, there has been detected a failure in the main thruster units and they threaten to overload. But what saddens me the most is that I have let down the greatest leaders of all time. You, Baltar. LUCIFER (ANNOYED): Double feldercarb. BALTAR (REASSURING): There there Spectre, I'm sure you tried your best. Is there any hope of recovering the Pegasus? SPECTRE (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): None. BALTAR (REASSURING): Then abandon her. Report back to me. Perhaps we can still lure the Galactica out and ambush her. SPECTRE (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): By your command. [PEGASUS] STARBUCK (EXCITED, OVER RADIO): Watch it! Cylons! [FOOTSTEPS] STARBUCK (CONFUSED, OVER RADIO): They ran right by us? APOLLO (CONCERNED, OVER RADIO): They are headed right for the bay. I don't like it. STARBUCK (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): What concerns me if we only have a few centons before this entire battlestar goes up. APOLLO (STERN, OVER RADIO): Come on! [VIPERS/RAIDERS BATTLE] STARBUCK (CONFUSED, OVER RADIO): There are still six Raiders left. They must not have gotten the order. APOLLO (CONCERNED, OVER RADIO): Or perhaps they have a special task set aside. STARBUCK (SARCASTIC, OVER RADIO): This really isn't the time to debate this. There are two Vipers over there. Let's see if we can't get to them. APOLLO (STERN, OVER RADIO): Let's go. [FOOTSTEPS] SPECTRE (BLUNT): Launch all remaining ships, Centurion. Including this one. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [RAIDERS LAUNCH] STARBUCK (SHOCKED, OVER RADIO): Oh no! This Viper has been ripped apart. APOLLO (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): Come and get into mine. STARBUCK (EXCITED, OVER RADIO): But a Viper is a one man ship! APOLLO (STERN, OVER RADIO): Come on, Starbuck! We have about a centon before this Battlestar explodes! STARBUCK (SARCASTIC, OVER RADIO): Well, since you put it that way. [FOOTSTEPS] [VIPER CANOPY CLOSE] [VIPER LAUNCH] [HUGE EXPLOSION] STARBUCK (PLEASED, OVER RADIO): The Galactica doesn't have to worry about that battlestar anymore. APOLLO (CONCERNED, OVER RADIO): I just don't want to be the one to tell Sheba that. STARBUCK (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): Haven't you forgotten? She return to the Pegasus when it returned to be with her father. APOLLO (CONCERNED, OVER RADIO): Oh no. [VIPERS/RAIDERS BATTLE] SPECTRE (BLUNT): Centurion. Sound the retreat. We are finished here. CENTURION (ROBOTIC): By your command. [GALACTICA] TIGH (PLEASED): Cylon fighters retreating, Commander. ADAMA (CONCERNED): No sign of Mister Starbuck or Captain Apollo? TIGH (BLUNT): None at all. ATHENA (EXCITED): I've got them! STARBUCK (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): This Mister Starbuck reporting. The Pegasus was Cylon occupied but we managed to destroy it. The Captain and I are returning. ADAMA (PLEASED): Well done civilian. STARBUCK (BLUNT, OVER RADIO): And as far as me quitting. Well, for a few short centares I was free of responsibility. Well, to tell you the truth I was bored. I would like to rejoin, sir. ADAMA (PLEASED): We'll be awaiting your return. Lieutenant. STARBUCK (PLEASED, OVER RADIO): Thank you, sir. [VIPER FLYBY] [COLONIAL FLEET] ADAMA (VOICE OVER): Fleeing the Cylon Ternary. The last Battlestar, the Galactica, leads a ragtag fugitive fleet on a lonely quest. A shinning planet know as earth. [BATTLESTAR GALACTICA END THEME] THE END