June 19, 1998
Subject: If the Sci-Fi Channel did a new Battlestar Galactica movie or
series...

Ya know, this is a real, how do you say, questionable question.
Sci-Fi Channel filming:

Cassiopea: Starbuck, every time you go out and fight the Cylons...

Director: CUT!!!  Laurette, dear, you're putting too much emotion into
the words. You have to be monotone.  And Dirk, you smile too much.  The
ladies will be watching your smile more than listening to what you say.
Do it again.  Action.

Cassiopea: Oh, Starbuck, I really, very deeply dread every time....
Director: CUT!!!!  You don't ad lib.  You say only what is on the script.
You're not trying to win some award here.  Dirk, are you laughing?
Dirk <suddenly straight faced>: Who me? No, a, I wasn't laughing. Ah,
whatever gave you that, um, idea.  Oh, I had a few, ah, coughs.  Yeah,
coughs, you see they plague me from time and time.  And, oh, it may
seem like a laugh, but it's a, er, really nasty cough I try to um stifle.
Director: This is hopeless.  I hope the editors have better luck.


In the Sci-Fi Editing room:
Editor 1:  Hey' you're letting the tape go to far.  We have to cut here
for Sci-Fi plugs.
Editor 2: What do you mean, too far?
Editor 1: You'll learn soon enough.  You stop the scene in mid
sentence, ditch the rest of the scene and go to commercials.  By the
time the commercials are over, you're on a new scene.
Editor 2: Cut in the middle of the sentence.  Don't you think people
will notice?
Editor 1: Only less than one percent of the viewing population.  Oh,
and if it's an important scene, cut it.  They'll never miss it.  Make
sure you use the new animated computer graphic for the Sci-Fi plug.
We really want to keep their attention during commercials.

In the Sci-Fi Broadcasting room:
Power.  Light On. Fan On. Play.
(Video but no audio)
Oops.  Volume Up.
"somewhere beyond the stars."
Better rewind it.
"sraedoyeros..."
Play.
"There are those who believe that life here..."
<press rewind button while reading book. Lift up to flip page>
"There are those who believe that life here..."
<press rewind button while reading book. Lift up to flip page>
"There are those who believe that life here..."

                                                                  
                                           Robert
                                     hanczykr@gmail.com
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