It was a long walk down the Galactica corridor for Starbuck.  Not
even when he had to report to the Commander’s office did the walk ever
seem so long.  No. The tailor of the ship, who was with her since before
Starbuck was ever assigned on board, was not an ordinary tailor.  Oh, he
did claim to be just that, a plain and simple tailor.  Starbuck had his
suspicions though about what actually made this guy tick.  Were it not
for some jester polishing the deck, Starbuck would have never slipped
into a side split with his legs, in turn ripping his pants where it
counts, right in the middle of a real red alert.  The need to visit the
tailor in the first place would not have occurred.  These thoughts would
not have crossed his mind.  This walk would only have been a bad side
thought.  Oh well.  It was useless hoping for something that did not
happen - the usual red alert.  The time to face reality was unavoidable.
     Half a corridor section to walk, no more than another centon.  That
was much too soon.  Perhaps if Starbuck hurried in, grabbed his sewn
pants, paid and thanked the tailor, and scurried back out, he could
escape from the tailor’s bizarre behavior in less than two centons.  It
seemed like a good idea to employ.  At least he hoped so.
     The door was open.  It usually was.  The tailor believed it to be an
open invitation for anyone to freely enter when a piece of clothing
needed his attention.  What good was a tailor if his services were not to
be utilized?  Besides, he was able to see those passing by, what they
wore, the condition of the clothing, and even pick out some personality
cues merely from the way they walked.
     Starbuck reviewed his quick escape plan one last time before
stepping to the doorway and through it.  The room was slightly smaller
than the viper pilots' billet.  The walls and deck were the same color as
the rest of the battlestar.  Along the back wall were small shelves
reaching from one side to the other except for where a doorway was
leading to a tiny closet.  On the shelves were all the various materials
a tailor usually required to fix, hem, or alter any piece of clothing
from the Colonies.  Recent visits to other planets added a little more
variety to the collection.  In the middle of the room were two large
tables, occupying about a third of the floor space.  Various items of
clothing were currently laid out on them waiting to be tailored.  Three
chairs and two platforms lined the right side wall.  The platforms were
slightly larger than the average chair seat and used for people to stand
on for measuring purposes.  Clothing hung along the opposite wall waiting
to be picked up by the owners.
     A head appeared from behind the hanging clothes, with a very
delightful look on the face.  "Starbuck!!  My how Good it is to See you
again so Soon."  Garocky’s words were always slightly drawn out.  He
usually had a very happy note to his voice, but spoke with an aura of
mystery.  His tone of voice was a tad lighter than the average man’s, but
nothing too dramatic.  He also had a habit of stressing every third or
fourth word he spoke as if it was more important than the others.
     "Yeah....... Well, um......... Hi."  Starbuck felt a little uneasy
in the room.  "Are my pants ready?"
     "But of course, Good lieutenant."  The tailor walked out from behind
the clothes, carrying Starbuck's pants, and walked towards him.  He was
half a head shorter than Starbuck with a very thin build.  His hair was
black, his eyes green.  His shirt was blue in the arms, but dark gray
everywhere else.  His pants were black.  There were three pockets on the
front of the shirt, one over the left chest, and two at the stomach.  The
upper arms had small strips of clothing to "strap" items under such as a
measuring tool, scissors, needles and what not.  "It was a Very simple, I
must say A Very Very Simple repair for a Very Simple tailor like myself."
     "That’s good.  How much?"  A cold sweat broke on Starbuck's brow.
     "Why it only Required a few centons of stitch work.  Quite a Nice
job if I do say.  Look at how the threads Blend Perfectly with the pants'
color.  To the Plain and Simple eye, no one will Ever notice your attempt
to be more, shall we say, limber.  I Am curious as to your motives. 
Ahhh, but that is your own Private Matter.  I shall not *Press* you for
an answer, dear man."
     "Right."  Starbuck was flabbergasted.  "How much does this cost?" 
He pulled at his collar.
     "Cost?  It will be No Cost at All for you good sir.  No cost At
All."  Garocky handed Starbuck the stitched pants.  "This job was So
simple, So simple indeed, I did not even Notice I worked on it."
     "No no.  No you don’t." Starbuck shook his right index finger at the
tailor.  "You fixed my pants."  He waved them with his left hand along
the left side of his mid-torso.  "I will pay you.  How much?"
     "Sir, you need not Worry about the cost.  However, if you Do wish
to...... compensate me...... and it Appears you do, I have but an opinion
to ask.  Merely an opinion if you Kindly will."
     "Sure.  Why not."  Starbuck gave in.  His plan was obviously not
going to work.  This man always did this.  Did anyone keep him company
besides his customers?  And why was there always only one customer in
here at any time?  It did not make sense.  "What do you want my opinion
on?"
     "Ah!!!! I was hoping you would ask.  It is Quite a Simple Question
from such a person as myself.  I have but only a Small question for a
Small favor.  I shall Highly value what you think on this.."  The next
words carried a slightly dark overtone to them.  "...Trifle Matter.  I do
trust you will yield my humble Graces with a Genuine reply."
     "Okay, already.  Ask your question."  Starbuck put his hands on his
hips and tapped his right foot.  The pants in his left hand began to
wrinkle under the forceful squeeze of his fingers.
     The tailor walked over to one of the platforms between the back two
chairs.  There was a black box on it.  "Come Come, good man.  To Rush is
to not want."  He turned to look at Starbuck.  "I Do Desire your Honest
response.  It is quite simple.  I have recently been Fortunate to acquire
this."  Garocky pulled out a tray from under the box.  It was covered
with small, circular, food-looking items, many different colors and
designs on the tops.  "One of My Customers was Gracious enough to leave
some as an Extra........ Reward for my Plain and Simple services.  I wish
for you to try one and tell me what you think of them."
     "Didn’t you try one?"
     Garocky chuckled lightly.  "Why of course, dear Starbuck.  I did
Indeed have one of these.  I am quite Curious though to compare Your
reaction to my own Simple one."  To prove his point, Garocky picked up
one and ate it with small bits, savoring each and every one.  He
displayed enough emotion to spark Starbuck’s interest.
     "All right.  I’ll try one."
     "I thought you would."  Garocky walked back over to Starbuck and
extended the tray at chest level.  "Do, please do pick whichever one you
wish.  I believe you to be a Good judge of Taste as well as Character."
     Starbuck reached out to grab one.  He really did not care which one.
 The variety of color and styles were all very tantalizing.  He sniffed
the one in his hand as if it was a good goblet of Ambrosa.  There was a
savory scent to it.  His taste buds kicked into a highly sensitive mode
trying to anticipate just what this was going to taste like.  His stomach
growled impatiently knowing it was about to receive more nourishment.  To
not delay any longer, Starbuck took a big bite, large enough to consume
the entire food item.
     Garocky saw Starbuck drop the tailored pants from his left hand put
it on his stomach trying to relish the wonderful taste as much as
possible.  There was no hiding the smile on the lieutenant’s face.
     "This is absolutely wonderful!!!  Who gave these to you?  I gotta
get some."
     "Have another, good sir.  Take it With you.  Do Enjoy it as much as
you can.  I Strongly Value your opinion my Plain and Simple one.  In
fact, take two with you.  I will be Quite Pleased if you do."
     "Of course.  Thank you.  I really like these.  I’ll go give one to
Cassiopea to try."  Starbuck picked up another cookie and turned to
leave.
     "Dear sir, Don’t Forget that which you originally granted My
company."
     "Huh?"
     "Your pants."  Garocky reached down and picked them up.  "I Do
believe you would Also like to take your pants with you."
     "Oh yeah.  Thanks.  I can’t leave without my pants.  What are these
things called?"  Starbuck swiftly grabbed his pants and waited
impatiently for the answer.
     "I am Told..... these..."  He pointed to the tray.  "...are Known as
Cookies.  Please enjoy them and have a Delightful Day!!!!!"
     Starbuck turned and darted out the door.
     "I hope you shall return Soon with Another clothing need for me,
your Plain and Simple Tailor."
     Starbuck never heard the last remark.  His mind was focused too much
on the cookies in his hand.  As the lieutenant disappeared down the
corridor, Garocky simply smiled at the delight he witnessed in Starbuck’s
face.  Another fine job was accomplished by his tailorness to satisfy his
customers.  Meanwhile, the good lieutenant never realized his question
about who made the cookies was left unanswered.
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