MAD ABOUT STARBUCK - Episode 4

**********
Life was good again.  We were no longer "off limits" to
Starbuck; although,
we had already agreed to keep things cool until after the
actual graduation.
With the commander's apparent blessing -- with our "early
promotions" and an
invitation to dinner with Adama and his family, in which he
was included,
Starbuck explained later --  Starbuck had wanted to show his
gratitude by
taking us each out the following two evenings.  However,
with those images
from our adventure on the Rising Star still burning in our
memories, we had
declined, saying that the wait would do him good.  Maybe
show him that there
were times when it was better to 'back off,' we'd said with
a smile,
referring to how, had he *really* paid attention, he would
have never gotten
into that tight spot with Shyra in the first place!  We did
not tell him the
real reason, though.  That I needed time to shake off the
queasy feeling I
got every time I remembered the feel of Uri's slimy mouth
and those
lecherous hands against me.  And Reyana and I both firmly
stated that it
would be a *long* time before we had any desire to visit any
private suites
on the Rising Star!  Starbuck was too sharp, though, to
believe that we were
telling him the whole story, even when we had given him the
abridged version
of the events - our capture and the fight, minus any
lecherous intentions.
Although we insisted that was all, with straight faces and
no joking, he
repeatedly asked what else had happened.  Maybe we'd tell
him later, when a
bit more time had passed.  We were forgetting one detail,
though.

Starbuck reluctantly agreed to wait a few more days.
Unfortunately, the
commander had to hold one final, informal briefing the next
day about the
incident, just to settle a few remaining details and to let
us know that,
while we had a solid case against Uri and his guard - on
several big
charges - we had not cracked open the entire smuggling ring.
Uri had,
unfortunately, not been able to name his sources, because
the person or
persons he had met with always concealed his face.  So while
we'd removed
one of the wealthiest clients, we hadn't actually caught the
black market
dealers.

And we'd completely forgotten that there would have to be a
tribunal.  Frak.
But Uri was headed to the prison barge, though, and that was
enough to make
me happy, even if we did have to look at him one final time
during the
tribunal, which was scheduled to take place in one secton.
And we'd have to
tell Starbuck the whole story before then, I  realized, too,
but it gave us
some time.

And while the commander thanked us again for our unwitting
help, he reminded
us, firmly, to stick to official ways of handling things in
the future.
Maybe he had Starbuck there, along with Boomer and Capt.
Apollo, to
emphasize that all three of us needed to stay out of
trouble.  After all, we
'd known the lieutenant only about a sectar, and we'd
already had two
dangerous escapades!

It was during that briefing, though, that Starbuck got a
hold of the list of
formal charges against Uri and Durley.  He was scanning the
list, then
suddenly stopped, looking over at Reyana and me.  "What's
this about
'attempted sexual assault'?"  He demanded, going red in the
face.

Well, since  it would have come out at the tribunal, later,
anyway, maybe it
was a good thing it happened in a meeting where Boomer and
Capt. Apollo were
also present, so that they could hold him back when he
jumped to his feet
and swore that he would kill Uri. Boomer almost had to sit
on him,
literally, but, eventually, after we had calmly explained
what had happened,
he had settled down.  I guess he understood why our aversion
to the Rising
Star was so strong, now.  He also didn't tease us any more
about waiting
until after graduation before going out on more romantic
interludes.

He wasn't the only one to be handed an unpleasant surprise,
though.  I had
thought the briefing was over, that we were about to be
dismissed.  The five
of  us had risen, but the commander was sitting in his chair
still, his
fingers to his lips, looking pensive.  I glanced at Reyana,
who shrugged.
Finally the commander rose and came around to stand in front
of his desk,
facing Reyana and me.  "There is one more thing you need to
be aware of," he
stated, looking serious.  Serious enough to make me quite
nervous.

"What's that?" asked Starbuck, who was near us, still
flanked by Boomer and
Apollo.

Adama crossed his arms, leaning against the desk.  "As much
as I would very
much like for this to remain a military matter and a
restricted case, that
simply won't be possible, not given Sire Uri's involvement."

"What's that mean, sir?"  asked Reyana.  I was looking over
at Starbuck, who
was frowning and looking angry again, enough so that Boomer
and Apollo
looked ready to grab him.  He obviously knew what that
meant.  We should
have, too.

"It means," the commander said with a sigh, "that I will
have to go public
with this case and release all pertinent information to the
Fleet.  And the
IFB.  I have that obligation as commander of the Fleet.  The
people deserve
to know, will demand to know, every detail.  And anything
that will come out
in the tribunal will need to be released to the press ahead
of time.
Otherwise, I might very well face a riot, if it appears we
are withholding
information.  I'm sorry."

"Oh, frak,"  I mumbled.  But he was right.  This case
involved a prominent -
if sleazy - Council member.  It was way beyond the bounds of
being purely a
military issue.  Lords, but I was now wishing fervently that
we *had* gone
to Boomer and let them handle this.  But it as too late for
that.  We would
have to suffer the consequences of our actions.

Starbuck was fuming but not out of control --  at least not
yet.  "If those
frakking IFB -"

The commander cut him off.  "Starbuck, I'll do what I can.
All information
and interviews will be conducted by an official
spokesperson, in the name of
respecting the pivacy of all involved, but all details
*will* have to be
released.  Including why two cadets would be trailing a
third cadet, in the
first place."  He gave us all a stern look.  "Again, I'll do
what I can, but
consider it a lesson.  We'd have been able to keep a lot
more of the details
confidential, had this investigation been conducted through
more official
channels."

"Yessir," we had mumbled.

I decided not to think about what all this meant.  At least
not right now.
Starbuck walked us back to our barracks, but said very
little, except to
keep muttering, "I'm sorry."  We took our leave of him
rather quietly and
awkwardly.

"Hey," I had said, poking him in the ribs after a brief hug
and kiss and
trying to lighten the mood, "just don't forget that we
*will* have that date
in two nights."  He had smiled for moment, but had then
left, still
glowering and in a rather ugly mood.  Boomer and Apollo
could deal with him,
I thought tiredly.  I just wanted to crash on my bunk for a
while.

*******
But, now, a day later, graduation and the promotions were
scheduled for
tomorrow at 0900.  At that time, we would officially receive
our new ranks
of ensign
and be assigned to either Red, Blue, or Silver Spar
Squadrons. Letting the
excitement wash away any concerns of what all might come out
in the
pre-tribunal publicity,  Rey and I were still arguing about
which would be
the better assignment - Red or Blue.  She was itching to fly
head-to-head
with Starbuck, I was just sure of it.  But something inside
told me that
flying with him could also be more complicated.  I didn't
want to see him
put into the position of having to give us risky orders and
then have him
feeling guilty if something went wrong.  Like it had the
last time we flew
with him.  I couldn't stand to see that worried, guilty look
that he kept
giving me on that planet.  No, for this, I thought it better
to keep
personal lives separate and not put the pressure on each
other; I wanted to
feel free, free to stretch my wings, so to speak, and enjoy
the new
challenge of being a viper pilot, risks and all.

The only remaining formality was the physical exam required
before we would
be permitted to fly full time.  Given that we all had passed
the exams four
sectars ago, upon enlisting, I didn't see what could
possibly go wrong. Just
show up, take the required tests and then we were home free!
The exam took
about a centar because they wanted to be thorough, including
all sorts of
detailed laser-patterning scans of cell tissue, nero-
pathways, blood, and
detailed cranial scans.  The computer was able to analyze
the results almost
immediately, so the last ten centons was simply waiting
around for the
all-clear.

Reyana and I were still debating our squadron assignment
when I noticed Dr.
Salik approaching us.  He stopped just in front of us, arms
crossed, and
gave a wry smile.  "Cadet Aliana," he said, "I need to speak
with you in my
office."

I gave Reyana a wide-eyed look as I got up to follow the
doctor to his
office.  My knees were wobbly because I couldn't possibly
imagine what could
be different this time; the last time, I had been in peak
physical shape.
Looking back, I should not have been so surprised.  After
all, I knew from
the start that it was a possibility.  It was just that I had
been so caught
up in the grand excitement of graduation that I was totally
unprepared for
what he was about to tell me.

After motioning for me to take a seat, Salik leaned against
his desk, arms
still crossed, same wry smile in place.  "I have some good
news and some bad
news," he said.  "I guess it depends on how you look at it."

"What?"  I heart was pounding in my chest.

"I'm afraid you won't be flying a viper in the near future,
at least."

"What?  What is it?"  My voice was getting louder.  Lords,
but he seemed to
be enjoying my bewildered, anxious reaction.

"You really don't have a clue?"  he asked.

"No!"  I said, shouting almost.

By the moons of Sagittarius, he was chuckling now.  "Cadet,
maybe you need
to refresh your knowledge of basic biology.  I don't think
that this should
be such a shock -"

It finally hit me what he was referring to.  My mouth
dropped and I'm sure
my face went pale.  "You're not saying . . .?"

"You're pregnant," he finally said.

I felt faint.  No, this had not been a part of my plans, not
yet, anyway.
"But - but -"  I stammered.  "We've only -"

"One time is all it takes," Salik said, rather
admonishingly.  Then his tone
seemed to soften.  "Look, you wouldn't have known yet, most
likely, because
it's still very early.  How long ago?"

I forced myself to think.  It had been, it had been . . .
"Three sectons."
My mouth felt dry.

"That would fit what the blood scan revealed."  He must have
finally taken
pity on me, because he moved to put a hand on my shoulder.
"Look, I'm sorry
that this is such a surprise, and if I was flippant, it was
because I am
still amazed by how naive people can be about these things."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right,"  I mumbled.  I *had* known, at
the time, that
this could happen.  I just didn't think . . .

"Cadet," he said.  "It's not the end of the world.  For now,
flying a viper
is considered too high-risk, but that's only temporary."

I looked into his face and took several deep breaths to calm
myself.  "So
what are my options right now?"

"You have two, I believe.  You can ask for a temporary
reassignment to a
lower-risk position.  You can even fly shuttles, if you
still want to fly.
Later, then, you can evaluate how you feel, once the baby is
born, and even
choose to go back to being a viper pilot.  Or you can ask to
be discharged
from the service at any time."

I took another deep breath and let it out slowly.  I felt
ready to cry.

"You know,"  Salik said softly, "there is a bright side to
this.  Remember
the commander's proposal-the Survival Plan -- that he made
to the Fleet a
couple of days ago?"

I nodded, trying to fight back the tears.

"I helped him go through the facts and figures.  I even
approached him about
a possible population crisis before he came to me,"  he
said.  "And while
having a child is by no means easy, it may be one of the
most important
things you can do to help ensure the survival of the Fleet -
much more so
than flying a viper.  Remember, you'll have the utmost care
and support
during your pregnancy."

His smile was soft now, comforting.  Lords, I knew he was
right.  But it was
still a shock.  I finally cracked a smile.  "So really I'm
just following
the commander's orders," I said, sniffing despite my efforts
to not cry,
"like every good warrior is supposed to."

"That's one way to look at it."  He patted my shoulder.  "It
*is* a good
thing."  He paused a moment, giving me some time.

"Yeah, I know," I said eventually.  "I really did understand
the facts.  It'
s just, what with graduation tomorrow, I just . . . it just
didn't occur to
me."

Salik smiled softly.  "You know, if you still want to pursue
being a viper
pilot after the baby is born, that's entirely up to you.
It's just
necessarily on hold for now."  Then his expression grew more
solemn.  "But I
will mention that the commander and I are very serious about
protecting the
children of the Fleet - all children, even the unborn.  So
you now have the
responsibility of avoiding any actions that might endanger
your child's
health or survival.  We have lots of information for you and
guidelines for
you to follow."  He studied my face.  "But for now, I think
that can wait a
day or two.  I know you need time to think about all of
this."

Dr. Salik gave me a hand up and looked prepared to send me
on my way.  It
suddenly occurred to me that he had failed to ask one rather
important
question.  "Don't you want to know who the father is?"  I
asked, frowning at
him.  "Isn't that equally important?"

"Yes, yes," he said, "but I thought that could wait until
next time.  I do
want you to come back in a couple of days.  At that time,
we'll fill out
records for the computer and go over the other information."
He gave me
that crooked smile again.  "I was actually about to suggest
that when you do
come back - make it no later than three days from now - that
you bring the
father with you.  Besides sharing the responsibilities of
his actions, we
also want to keep a database of genetic codes, so we'll have
some tests for
him, as well.  Okay?" he studied my face again.  "Will you
be okay with
this?"

I nodded.  "Yeah," I said with a sigh.  "Kinda changes my
plans, but I'll be
okay.  I'll probably even be quite happy . . . eventually."

"Right," he said.  "Understand, also, that I will have to
send a copy of
your physical exam results to Colonel Tigh and the
commander."

I gulped and nodded.  Of course.  And then I would have to
explain to
everyone why I was being reassigned . . . this was not going
to be any sort
of secret for very long.  As I left Salik's office, I
realized that my
immediate priority was to talk to Starbuck.  Oh, Lords . . .
what was he
going to say?

Reyana was waiting for me as I left Salik's office.  I'm not
sure what my
expression was, but she was quicker on the uptake than I had
been.  She
looked equally shocked.  "You're  . . .  aren't you?"  I
couldn't hold it
back any longer.  The tears started streaming down my cheeks
as I nodded,
unable to speak.  Reyana reached out and hugged me, holding
me tightly.  "It
'll be okay," she said.  And I just let it out, crying on
her shoulder,
sobbing, as we stood there, in the middle of the
Lifestation.

******

People were staring at us, I realized, as I sniffed back the
tears, finally,
and pulled back from Reyana's embrace after several centons.
I didn't care.
Let them wonder and speculate.  They'd find out soon enough.
Tomorrow
morning, at the latest, when I was reassigned somewhere -
but I couldn't
even think that far ahead, yet.  At the moment, I needed to
do one thing and
one thing only - find Lt. Starbuck.  Dr. Salik could be
sending that report
to the colonel and commander at that very moment. The
colonel and Capt.
Apollo would have to change my assignment.  Apollo is
Starbuck's best
friend -- And I didn't want Starbuck to hear the news from
anyone but me.
So I had to find him and find him now.  All this was running
through my head
as Reyana and I walked out of the Lifestation, ignoring all
of the stares
from the other cadets still awaiting their exam results.
Cassiopeia, I did
note, was also staring intently at us.  Did she know?  I
didn't care.

Once out in the corridor away from everyone, we stopped.  I
put my hands on
my hips and took several deep breaths, trying to steady
myself.  I hadn't
even considered what Reyana's reaction would be, I realized
suddenly.  I
looked at her.  "This doesn't change anything," I said, then
realized how
stupid that sounded.  Of course things would be different!
"I mean," I
started again, "It doesn't change how I feel about you, me,
and Starbuck.
It just adds a little, uh, 'complication' to our
arrangement."

Reyana looked nervous and fidgety.  "Yeah.  I know that. You
know that," she
said.  "And remember, long ago it seems, we even talked
about something like
this."

We had, I remembered now, back after our wild, inconceivable
night of fire
fighting and almost-romance aboard the Rising Star.  We had
been daydreaming
like two teenagers the next day, talking about what if, what
if?  I was
surprised that my subconscious had let that conversation
slip from my mind.
"Yeah," I said, running my hand across my face and through
my hair, "I
remember.  But we forgot to include one factor into our
little discussion -
how's Starbuck going to feel about this?"

Reyana let out a slow breath.  "Good question, dearie.  But
I guess we'd
better find out.  And soon."  She gripped my arm and looked
me in the eyes.
"Hey.  Do you want me there when you tell him, or do you
want to do it
alone?"

"Together," I blurted out, before I could even think about
it.  Heck, I didn
't need to think about it.  We were in this relationship
together, to
support each other.  All of us.

"Okay, then," she said.  "I guess we'd better track down the
lieutenant and
let him in on the good news."  Reyana grinned at me.  "It
*is* good news,
you know."

"Yeah, yeah . . . well, maybe it'll feel like 'good news' in
a few days.
Right now, it feels like a royal mess!"

*******
Locating Lt. Starbuck was easier said than done, since we
were not full
warriors yet. We couldn't just pop our heads into Blue
Squadron's barracks
and ask for him.  I was tempted to, though.  When I get
tense and
determined, look out.  Sometimes my impulses override my
logic.  And I was
about to take off with that very idea in mind when Reyana
stopped me.
"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Blue Squadron -"

"Yeah, right.  That part of the ship is still off-limits to
us, remember?"

"Frak.  Of course.  Then how --?"

"Let's see who's in the commissary, first.  Maybe we'll find
someone who
knows where he is.  Maybe we'll even find him, since it's
just about midday
meal time."

"Okay, okay," I said.

We entered the commissary gazing around, looking for a face
that might be
able to help us.  Near the back, we spotted Lt. Boomer with
Sheba and Bojay
and several other warriors, including some from Blue
Squadron.  Our best
bet, I figured.  We headed towards the group.  Adrenaline
made me bold, I
guess, because as they looked up with curiosity at our
approach, I said
without preamble, "I'm looking for Starbuck."

I got a mixture of reactions.  Boomer raised his eyebrows.
Sheba and Bojay
looked annoyed that two cadets would interrupt like that,
and the others
looked both surprised and amused.  "Hello to you, too," said
Boomer.

"Sorry, uh, sir,"  I said, trying to sound a bit more proper
with my
superiors.  "But I really need to speak with the
lieutenant."

"He and Apollo are on patrol in about 15 centons,"  Sheba
said, frowning at
us, wondering, I could tell.  "They're probably in the
launch bay."

"Thanks!"  I said and turned to hurry on out, leaving still
more surprised
and curious faces behind us.  Oh, well.  They'd all know
soon enough.

We practically ran to the launch bay.  I felt desperate now.
I had to catch
him before they launched.  I simply didn't want him to hear
about this from
anyone else, like Colonel Tigh or the commander.  And the
first place that
they would go after returning from a patrol would be to the
bridge for a
debriefing with those two people.  No, I had to talk with
him first.

As the turbolift whined slowly down into the launch bay, I
jumped off before
it had reached the deck.  I could hear the hum of viper
engines warming up.
We were in time, if just barely, I saw, as we approached the
two ships.
Starbuck and Apollo were seated in their cockpits with the
canopies open,
running through the preflight checklist.  Apollo was the
first to see as
coming.  "Can I help you, cadets?"

I saw Apollo staring at me and then saw Starbuck look up to
see us.  He
smiled and looked curious.  And I froze, unable to move or
speak.

Reyana did not miss a beat, however.  "We need to speak with
the lieutenant,
sir," she said to Apollo.

"I'm afraid it'll have to wait.  We're launching in a few
centons."

"It can't wait, sir," Reyana said.  She looked over to
Starbuck.  "Please,
it's important.  And it'll only take a moment."

Starbuck sighed and said to Apollo, "Don't launch without
me, buddy.  I'll
be right back."

"All right," said the captain, "but make it fast."

Starbuck followed us to a relatively secluded spot away from
the vipers and
the hanger crew.  He looked puzzled, and he was scanning us
with those
penetrating blue eyes of his.  "What is it?"  he said
guardedly.

I opened my mouth, closed it, and felt the blood draining
from my face.  I
had felt so determined just a moment ago.  Now, all of the
possible ways to
tell him that I had run through my head as we hurried to the
launch bay
dissipated.  My mind went blank.

Again, Reyana took over.  "We've got some good news and some
bad news," she
said, sounding very much like Dr. Salik.

"Yes?"  Starbuck was frowning at us.

"Aliana's pregnant."  So much for breaking the news slowly
and gently.

"She's what?!  How -"

"Oh, come now, lieutenant!" said Reyana.  "Surely you know
how these things
work!"

"I - yes, but, but -  are you sure?"  He looked completely
unnerved.  Not a
good start.  But, then again, that was how I felt, too.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I said, finally able to speak.  "I failed
my physical
exam.  That's how I found out.  Dr. Salik just told me."

Starbuck was staring at the floor, running his hand through
his hair
repeatedly, and breathing in deep breaths.  We gave him a
moment to process
the information.  But we never expected him to say what he
said next.
Finally, he looked up and into my eyes.  "We should get
sealed," he said.

"What?!"  I said.  "No, wait!  That's not necessary!  I -"

"Yes, it is,"  he said, gripping my shoulders.  "It wouldn't
feel right if
we didn't. Look, I'm sorry, Rey --"  He cast her an
apologetic glance.

"What are you talking about?!"  I gazed at him as if he were
a stranger.
"Remember what the commander said?  This is okay -"

"No, it's not!  I mean, it's different just talking about
it, but now -"
Starbuck  looked close to panicking.  I knew he was not
thinking clearly.
But then again, neither was I.  Emotions were raging and
about to clash.

"I don't want to get sealed!"  I yelled at him.  "Not know,
not ever!"  He
was gripping my arms still, and tightly too.  I pulled out
of his grasp.
"And I don't know why you should be acting so surprised.
You were there,
remember?  Don't tell me that someone as smart as you are
doesn't know the
'facts of life'!"

"Of course I do!  I just never thought -"

"Well, it happened, buddy."  I couldn't stop myself.  I was
just too
overwhelmed at the moment. I stuck a finger in his face.
"And the first
time, too, yeah.  But I'm the one that's frakked, you know.
I'm the one who
gets to be reassigned as a shuttle pilot.  I'm the one
who'll have to find
new quarters.  And Reyana'll have to find another wingmate.
And -"  Apollo
was calling him.  We were out of time, I knew.  Reyana was
looking at us
both helplessly, still stunned, I think, by his unexpected
reaction.  I
think he wanted to reach out to me, but I was just too
upset, too angry.  I
turned away.  "Go, please,"  I snapped, staring at the
floor.

And then he, too, exploded.  "No!"  he grabbed my arm again
and swung me
around.  "You will not brush me off or shut me out like
that!  And don't
think for one moment that I won't take this seriously.  That
I . . . that I
. . "  I was staring at him with a cold expression, my own
rage having
abated.  He finally realized that he was shaking my arm
quite hard.  He let
go.  "Sorry,"  he said.  "Sorry."

I took a deep breath.  "It's okay."

Reyana stared pleadingly from Starbuck to me and back.
"Take it easy, you
too!  And calm down!"  We both looked at her, our tempers
settling.  "You
both need some time to think - logically and calmly.  Then
we - or you two -
can discuss this."

"Starbuck?"  Apollo had climbed out of his viper and was
approaching us.  He
looked angry until he saw our massively confused faces.
"What's going on?"

Reyana put a hand on Starbuck's shoulder and said quickly
but gently, "Go.
You've got to go. We know that.  Just give yourself some
time, okay?"   She
looked at the puzzled captain.  "Oh, and maybe Apollo'll
have some words of
wisdom for you."  She grinned and pushed him towards his
waiting wingmate.

Starbuck opened, then shut his mouth a couple of times, then
finally said,
"I'll see you when I get back."  To Apollo he grinned
nervously.  "It's
nothing, buddy."

Apollo obviously wasn't buying that, because as they moved
back to their
vipers, I heard him saying, "Look, Starbuck, it's me.  And I
know something'
s wrong. . ." Then his voice faded out.

Reyana turned to me.  "Well, that went well," she said
shaking her head.
She began gently guiding me out of the launch bay because I
was otherwise
still too shocked to move.  "And I guess it's a good thing I
was here to
referee.  For a moment, there, I thought you might slug
him."

I laughed, feeling the tension drain a bit.  "I almost did!"
I said.

"Let's go get some food, okay?" she said.  "Then maybe get
you should get
some rest before their patrol gets back.  I have a feeling
you'll be up
pretty late talking . . ."

"*We,*"  I said, stopping to stare at Reyana.  I could sense
her starting to
pull back, pull out, feeling uncomfortable and unwanted.
"As you saw, I
need you there.  Okay?  It's still 'we.'"

Reyana smiled.  "Okay," she said.

*******

Starbuck's reaction was the last thing I expected.  I
knew he would probably be shocked by the news, we all
were shocked.  I mean, I know it can happen the first
time, but you just don't ever expect that.

But I did not expect Starbuck to insist that they get
sealed.  It made sense though.  I knew it's what
should probably happen.  We weren't playing around
anymore.  I know Aliana, she would take this
seriously, probably too seriously.  She's a
traditional gal in her heart, and this "whatever the
fates may bring" was probably just a phase brought on
by her crash landing.

I walked Aliana to the commissary and got her seated.
I went ahead and got a plate for the both of us and
had to keep reminding her to eat.  She sat there numb
and dazed.  I started thinking aloud about all the
things we would need to get started on, like finding
her quarters and whether she wanted to go back to
mechanics or to a shuttle squadron.

It took a while before Aliana finally came to and
started to talk to me.  The first words she said took
me back.

"I'm not getting sealed to Starbuck."

"Why not?  It's a good idea with a baby on the way.
He does care for you, you know."  I said trying to
ease her into the idea.

"He cares for you too."  She said.

"Yeah, I know.  But that's not important now.  The
baby is."

"Yes it is important.  We can't be *us* if Starbuck
and I get sealed."

I didn't know what to say to that.  Aliana was too
upset and angry for me to say what I was really
thinking.  Plus I didn't want her to think I was
abandoning her when she probably needed me the most.
I knew that I would be there for her through all of
this.  In fact, I was pretty excited.  A baby!  Life
and renewal, something to look forward to and to love.
 It would be wonderful.

But I also knew that this changed everything.  I
wasn't sure there could be what we had once thought
could be.  It had all seemed like a good idea in
theory.  It even sounded good when the Commander
talked about it, and if it could be pulled off, well,
Aliana and I were probably the people who could do it.


However, we had left out one little detail, the
father.  We had gotten so far ahead of ourselves with
our plots and schemes for a happily ever after, that
we hadn't bothered to include Starbuck in the
planning.  We hadn't planned on his reaction.

I shook my head and started to laugh.

"What are you laughing at?"  Aliana asked me
bewildered.

"I'll tell you if you start eating.  You're eating for
two now."

"Alright, alright, but this is serious, why are you
laughing?"  Aliana said, picking up her fork and
toying with her food.

"You know, everyone always accuses Starbuck of only
thinking about himself.  But you know, we've kind of
just been racing ahead with what we wanted.  We're
worse than Starbuck."

"He wants this too.  He knew what he was getting
into."  Aliana said starting to get angry again.

"Yes and no."  I said, holding up my hands to stop
Aliana from going off on me.  "He was getting into
dating two women.  Two very fun loving, gorgeous
women, I might add."  She smiled at that, then I went
on.    "But I don't think he was planning on getting
into anything too serious, certainly not as serious as
parenthood."

Aliana was silent as she looked down at her plate.

"This does change everything."  I continued, hoping I
could say everything I was thinking without Aliana
getting angry, or the two of us crying.  "Maybe
Starbuck's right, you know.  Maybe we need to let him
decide how to handle this.  It would be easier if you
two got sealed.  It would be better if I wasn't there
to complicate things."

Aliana looked up from her plate and I could tell that
she was about to protest, so I rushed on.  "Just
listen to me, okay?  I'll still be there.  You can't
get rid of me that easily.  I'm going to be an Aunt!
I'm not going to let you enjoy that baby all by
yourself."  I took a deep ragged breath and went on.
"But I think this is something you and Starbuck need
to be together on, alone together, you know.  Heck, I
can find another guy.  I'm going to be assigned to a
squadron soon.  Lots of eligible men.  That's why I
went into this pilot thing, right?"

Aliana looked down and then back up me again.  She had
that determined look on her face and I knew I wasn't
in the mood to fight with her, not today, not after
Starbuck's reaction.

I wasn't prepared for what she asked me.  Like most of
the events of the day, it took my off guard.

"Do you want another man?"

I didn't know how to answer her and immediately looked
away.  I didn't think after the destruction, after
sectons of checking the lists of survivors over and
over again, hoping against hope that his name would be
on the list the next time, that I would ever want
anyone again.  In some ways it was good that I'd had
to pay my way on the freighter with that ring.  I
didn't have the constant reminder on my finger of what
I'd lost.  But there had been days when I realized
that I had nothing left of that time, and even the
memories had deserted me.  I went on, there was
survival to think of, food and quarters to be found.
I joined the service and then had trainings and
lectures, a career to map out.  Over time I realized I
wasn't the only one to lose someone, and others could
go on.

Then I met Starbuck.  I knew who he was, who didn't!
We had all watched the triad matches, and seen him
decorated as a hero several times.  But meeting him as
my instructor was something different.  He was
friendly and funny.  He was cuter in person than on an
IFB broadcast.  Then we took him on at cards, and I
beat him.  He was right in a way when he said he let
us win.  He let me win back my heart that I thought
was lost forever.

When we made love I had shut my eyes.  Starbuck had
stopped for a moment, made me open my eyes and look at
him.

"I want you here with me."  He had said and pointed to
his heart.

I had never had a man look at me so intently, like he
knew my every secret, my every desire.

It would be hell giving him up.  I would be hard to
have jump started my heart, and then ask it to shut
down again.  But it would be worth it for the baby.

Aliana was patient and waited until I looked back at
her before she asked me again.

"You don't want another man, do you?"

I sighed.  "I don't want to be in the way of what
should be."

Aliana got mad at that one.  "Who's to say what should
be?  Things are not the same as they were before.
Everything is different.  We have to change how we
think of what should and should not be.  Weren't you
there when the Commander talked to everyone?"

"Yes, but."

Aliana didn't let me go on.  "This is how it should
be.  I don't want to do this without you there.
Starbuck will just have to live with that.  He can
make his own decisions, but this is my decision!  I am
not getting sealed to Starbuck!"

I sighed and realized that at least today there was no
arguing with her.

"Okay, okay."  I said, calming her down.  "I
understand what you're saying, and I'll support
anything you decide, okay?  You don't want to get
sealed to Starbuck, you don't get sealed to Starbuck."
 I said, and watched Aliana calm down.  She still had
that determined look in her eyes though, and I knew
I'd have to be just as determined with her to get her
to see my point.  "But as soon as Starbuck gets back,
you two need to talk."

"WE need to talk."

"No."  Aliana started to protest.  "NO!"  I said
firmly enough to get her to be quiet.  "I agree with
you, I'm in this too, and I'm asking you, as my
friend, to talk to Starbuck first, just the two of
you.  You two need to work this out, then we'll talk."

"Only if you promise not to back out."

I sighed again and fumbled for the right words to make
her see my point.  "We knew that the only way this
would work is if we all mutually agreed, right?"

Aliana flashed me a puzzled look, "Yes."

"I'm not sure I agree with this."  It killed me to say
it.  It came out in slow motion like some other person
in the room was saying it.

Aliana was silent for a long time, and I didn't know
what to say either.  So we sat staring at our plates
of uneaten food.  I took slow steady breaths, willing
the tears back.

Aliana finally said, "I will talk to Starbuck when he
gets back."  She said it like it was a defeat.

"Then we will talk, okay?  That's all I'm asking."  I
said, trying to smile and be cheerful.

"I can't do this without you."  She looked at me and I
could see the tears that she was trying to bite back.

"You won't be alone, okay?  I'll be there, I promise."
 I felt a tear slide down the side of my face.  "Let's
get out of here before we both start crying, okay?"

She agreed and we headed back to the bunk room.  I
suggested she lay down and get some rest, but she was
too upset for that, so we ended up logging into the
computer terminals to see about her career options now
that she had failed the pilots physical.


**************


Once Aliana finally calmed down and decided to get
some rest, I started working on my plan for finding
quarters and getting her set up.  The Commander had
sent out a memo on the Fleet Survival Plan that had
mentioned special privileges for beginning families.
I guess we'd be taking them up on those privileges,
and with Aliana being one of the first, I figured we
could ask for a little extra.

I was still researching some of the benefits of the
Survival Plan, when Lt. Sheba came into the bunkroom.
I assumed she was there to find Lt. Athena, but when
she bypassed the duty desk and headed straight for me.
 I quickly brought down my terminal and tried to look
like I was studying.

"Reyana?  Can I talk to you?"  I noticed that the
Lieutenant did not address me by rank, as she had the
whole time in class.

"Uh, yeah, Lt. Sheba, what's up?"

"I guess I should talk to Aliana too, is she around?"
That got my curiosity.  I didn't think news of her
pregnancy would travel that fast.  I figured she had
at least until tomorrow, or graduation to have to
announce it to everyone.

"Yeah, she's at her bunk.  Let me get her."  Lt. Sheba
followed me over to Aliana's bunk.

"Yes, Lt. Sheba, you wanted to talk to me?"  Aliana
said, getting off her bunk and almost coming to
attention.

Sheba put her hand on Aliana's shoulder.  "Relax, it's
just Sheba.  I'm here as a friend."

Aliana and I exchanged a look.  This was a new one,
Lt. Sheba from the Battlestar Pegasus as a friend.

"I don't know how to tell you this.  I know you two
are Starbuck's," Sheba hesitated, then smiled and
said, "friends.  I thought you should know that
Starbuck's patrol ran into trouble."

Aliana's face went white with shock.

"What kind of trouble?"  I asked quickly.

"We don't know.  We got a garbled transmission about
running across a Cylon outpost and taking damage.  But
we don't know what happened.  And now they're
overdue."

"Who took damage?"  I asked, dreading the answer.

"We don't know.  We haven't been able to contact them.
 We don't think the transmission is being jammed, so
we don't know why we can't reach them."

Aliana started to say something, then she reached out
to grab the support for the bunk and missed, sinking
to her knees.

"Aliana!"  Sheba and I both yelled, reaching for her.
We were able to catch her before she hit the floor.

"We should take her to the Life Center!"  Sheba
started to say, as we brought Aliana back up to her
feet.

"We've already been there today."  I said, helping to
lay Aliana on her bunk.

Aliana shook her head as she started to come to.

"We really should take her to Life Center."  Sheba
said again, a look of concern etching her face.

"I'm okay."  Aliana said softly.  "I don't need to go
to the Life Center.  I'm just.."  She stopped.

"I don't understand."  Sheba said, looking from Aliana
to me.

"She's pregnant."  I finished for Aliana.

"Oh, that's wonderful!  Oh, I'm so sorry, I should
have known this would be a shock!  Is there anything I
can do?"  Sheba seemed so sincere and so concerned.
She seemed, well, human for once.

"I'm okay."  Aliana said.  "Just let us know as soon
as you hear anything!"

"Oh I will!  I'll report in to you every centaur,
okay."

"Thank you.  We would appreciate that."  I said, and
Sheba gave me kind of a strange yet thoughtful look.

"Starbuck's the father isn't he?  I mean the rumors
have been flying and Cassie did say something about
him taking up with two cadets.  I've seen you around
with Starbuck.  Boomer said I should let you two know,
especially now.  I wasn't sure what he was talking
about, but I guess now I do."

I looked to Aliana, but she didn't say anything.  I
looked back to Sheba, but I didn't know if it was my
place to say anything.

"That's what I thought."  Sheba said, then smiled.
"Don't worry, I'll act surprised when he tells me."

Then Sheba said something that really surprised me.
"This will be good for him.  He needed a family."

What she said got me to thinking.  She was right, we
were a family.  An odd one, but then again, my
original family hadn't exactly been normal either.
But Starbuck didn't have a family before the
destruction.  He hadn't lost what some of us had.  He
hadn't had it to begin with.  Aunts and uncles,
cousins and nieces and nephews, he hadn't known any of
that.  We were going to be a family, and the thought
made me smile.

"You just let me know if he doesn't come through for
you.  I know a few people who would be more than happy
to kick him in the butt for you."  Sheba said with a
touch of vengeance in her voice.

"If he makes it back."  Aliana said softly.

Sheba's smile faded, and her eyes turned dark with
worry.  "I sure wish I was finding out under better
conditions."  Sheba sighed and we were all quiet for a
few moments.  "But they always make it back.  They
probably just wanted to make sure that the Cylons
can't trace them back here."  She reached out and
patted Aliana's hand.  "Starbuck always comes back.
He might have to wreck his viper to do it, but he
always comes back."

She flashed us a confident smile, but her eyes were
still dark and concerned.  .

"Just keep us informed if you would please!"  I asked.

"You bet, every centaur.  You'll be here, right?"
Sheba asked.

"Here, or in the landing bay waiting."  Aliana said.

"We'll be here."  I said, flashing a look to Aliana
that she needed to stay put.  All I needed was for her
to be fainting in the landing bay.

Sheba continued to smile confidently as she left us
alone.  But I knew it was just for show.  Her eyes
were easy to read.  She was worried.  And Aliana was
so worried she was making herself sick.  I sat on the
bunk beside Aliana and tried to process everything
that had happened that day.  It proved to be too much
for Aliana as she muttered, "Oh Lords, what now."  And
burst into tears.

"It will be okay."  I said over and over again.  I was
hoping if I said it enough, it would come true. In my
head, I said my own little prayer, "Starbuck, don't
let us down."


*******

I sat with Aliana until she calmed down.  She kept
apologizing for her tears, telling me that she
understood that patrols sometimes ran into trouble,
that it was part of the job, she knew that.  She said
that she knew he was okay and that they were probably
just taking out some base or something.  I told her
that it was okay, probably hormones or something.  I
told her to cry and get it over with.  We were pretty
much alone in the bunkroom, no one was going to
notice.  She sobbed for a little longer, then calmed
down and dried her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just feel guilty."  She said, wiping her
eyes on her sleeve.

"Guilty for what?  If you want to get technical this
is Starbuck's fault.  He could have, well, you know,
taken some precautions.  It's easier for the guys to
do that."  I said, knowing it was true.

"That's not it.  I don't feel guilty about being ." I
noticed that she couldn't say the word, and really
hadn't said it up to this point.

Aliana looked at me, tears starting to well up again.
"I shouldn't have told him right before a patrol.
This could have waited.  He was upset when he left.
It could affect his flying."

"Oh Ali, he's a veteran.  He's flown during the
destruction.  He knows how to pull it together even
when he's upset.  Don't feel guilty."

Aliana flashed me a look like she was listening, but
my words still had no effect on how she felt.

"Look, I'll go to the bridge and see what I can find
out, will that help?"

"You'd do that for me?"  She said.  She knew that
since the whole Shyra and Sire Uri affair I had
avoided any contact with anyone that came close to
Command staff.  That included bypassing the Bridge at
all costs.

"Yeah, I would.  You wait here, I'll be back."

She nodded and I gave her a reassuring hug.  Like Lt.
Sheba, I kept the confident smile on my face until I
left the bunkroom.  As soon as I was out in the
corridor, I let the fa‡ade drop.  I was worried.  I
knew risks were part of the job, but it didn't mean
that you didn't worry.  I knew I had to keep busy or
it would eat me up inside.  Besides, I had a lot to
take care of setting Aliana up for the baby that was
on the way.  A baby she would end up raising alone if
Starbuck didn't come back.  The thought made me
cringe.  Starbuck had to come back.

I stopped about halfway to the Bridge as a nagging
thought crept into my brain.  I stared down at my left
hand, at where the ring had once been.  I hadn't
thought about it in a long time, the loss I had gone
through during the destruction.  I realized I needed
Starbuck to come back.  Even with all the
complications and differences in this relationship, I
needed him.  Starbuck made me smile, and I'm not sure
I could take another loss.

I resolved at that point to do anything I could to
make Starbuck stay.  I couldn't bring him back from
the patrol, but I could set things up to where he
would want to be with Aliana and I.  I could make it
to where he would want to stay in the relationship.  I
could show him that having a family was wonderful.  I
could make this transition to fatherhood a little
easier.  I could help make things easier for him with
Aliana.

I reached the bridge and found the Commander at the
Command Station.

He greeted me by name, which probably shouldn't have
surprised me with how much trouble we had gotten into
recently.  He said they hadn't heard anything on the
missing patrol, but not to worry.  He told me that
sometimes no news is better than bad news.  Their
beacons were still transmitting.  If they had been
shot down, there would be no signal.  But
unfortunately they were too far out for the Galactica
to track them.

"Don't worry."  He had said, placing a fatherly hand
on my shoulder.  "Apollo always takes care of him.
Starbuck always makes it back.  Now he has even more
reason to return."

I knew then that the Commander alread had been told
about Aliana's pregnancy.  I could bring up my real
reason for coming to the bridge.

"Sir, about the Survival Plan and some of the benefits
for new mothers, I was wondering what those would be?"

"Yes, we've received *Starbuck's* request."  The
Commander said giving me a wink.  He must have known
right away Starbuck didn't write the request, he was
on patrol.  "The Duty Officer would be happy to help
you with that.  Omega, this is Reyana.  She is
Aliana's family."

The duty officer was more than helpful.  In fact, I
think he enjoyed the distraction from his regular
duties.  It didn't take long for him to set everything
up.  I knew Starbuck would be happy with the
arrangements when he got back.

When, not if.  There still was no word from the patrol
as I left the bridge to check on Aliana.  I set my
sights in the future.  I couldn't afford to think
about the present.  I couldn't afford to lose it,
Aliana needed me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Reyana left to go check with the bridge crew, I sat
listening to the
silence of the deserted bunkroom, hands on my knees, staring
at the floor.
The panic had faded but disbelief remained; I felt numb,
totally numb.  This
isn't happening, I told myself, this just can't be
happening.  I was taking
slow, deep breaths as I tried to process what all had gone
on that day.  My
mind went back to how happy and excited Reyana and I had
been as we talked
about tomorrow's graduation. That seemed like a lifetime
ago, now.  To go
from the shock of learning that I was . . .  pregnant, to
throwing it all in
Starbuck's face right before he had to launch, to  -- this.
To have him and
Apollo missing.  It was too much.  Too much.

I kept seeing Starbuck's bewildered expression as he walked
off with Apollo
to fly off on his patrol.  Kept seeing his angry, tense face
when we had
argued.  He had to have been more than a little rattled.  He
had to have
been preoccupied.  What if that had slowed his responses
just a micron?
What if, what if . . .?  But I was so stupid!  I should have
waited to tell
him, waited until he got back.  Met him in the launch bay
and then pulled
him aside.  Done it then.  Then.  Not before a mission, even
if it were just
a routine patrol.  No patrol is *just* routine, as was
clearly evident with
that garbled transmission.  "Cylons . . . damaged taken . .
."

"Oh, Starbuck,"  I whispered.  I put a hand over my abdomen,
feeling caught
between the two extremes - life and death.  A new life, just
beginning to
form, to grow, somehow starting from the union of two cells
and blossoming
into the most wondrous of all creations - a human life.  A
delicate human
life that could end in the blink of an eye.  To be destroyed
by the
merciless, relentless Cylons.

I felt numb.

"Hey?"  A voice broke the silence.

I looked up to see Lt. Boomer standing next to my bunk.
Otherwise, I barely
moved, didn't even wonder if he were bringing good or bad
news. I didn't
dare hope for the former and had already started to prepare
for the latter.
I gave him a brief, weak flicker of a smile.

"I came to see how you were doing,"  he said quietly.  "I
was on the bridge
when the commander got the results of your physical, so I
know this can't be
easy for you."

"I'll be fine," I said, looking up into the lieutenant's
dark eyes and
feeling suddenly glad that he, out of all of Starbuck's
buddies, seemed to
truly accept Reyana and me, had never questioned our
arrangement, and
without hesitation had come to include us as a part of
Starbuck's inner
circle of friends.  "And thanks,"  I said.

He must have read the resignation in my face, though.  "Hey,
don't give up
on them so soon," he said.  "Those two always come back," he
said with a
smile.  "Remember, they walked into the heart of a Cylon
basestar and back,
without a scratch, I might add."  He hesitated a moment, but
then sat down
next to me on the bunk.

I sighed.  "I know.  That's what Lt. Sheba said, but . . ."
I felt the
tears breaking through again and stopped.  I took a deep
breath and closed
my eyes.  "It's just that, that . . . well, this day has
been so crazy, and.
. . and, the last time I saw Starbuck, right before they
launched, we were
screaming at each other . . ."  I gulped back the tears.  I
was *not* going
to cry.

I felt a hand on my knee and opened my eyes to look at
Boomer.  He was
giving me a crooked smile.  "He didn't take the news too
well?"

"No . . . and then for them to run into trouble, I'm afraid,
afraid . . ."

Boomer shook his head.  "Don't feel guilty," he said firmly,
reading my
reaction.  "He's a pro - the best.  He's used to cutting off
his emotions
when he needs to, or he wouldn't have survived this long.
So *don't* feel
bad."

"That's what Reyana said," I responded, taking another deep
breath.

"And if by some long shot they don't make it back, then, at
least, he knew,"
Boomer said, squeezing my hand.  "Isn't that important,
too?"

I was silent for a moment, finally letting sink in what he
and Reyana had
said about a little emotional turmoil not affected
Starbuck's flying skills.
They were right, I knew that, I knew that.  At least, my
brain knew that.
And, yeah, at least, Starbuck knew about the baby, if --
"So be honest with
me,"  I said.  "What do you think are their chances of
returning?  Just how
long overdue can they be before they run out of fuel?  It's
been seven
centars since they launched, already."

"They were on a course that's ahead of the Fleet, so they've
got time, quite
a bit of time, in fact.  Let's say they were able to fly at
standard
velocity,"  Boomer said, pausing to do the figures in his
head.  Then he
continued, "they'd still have about two days within which
they'd still be in
range of the Fleet, because we won't bypass the tangent to
their vector for
another 12 centars.  Okay?"  He squeezed my hand again.
"I'm honestly not
worried.  Apollo and Starbuck are the best, and they should
have no problem
dealing with a Cylon outpost.  And they just always come
back," he said,
sounding confident, honestly confident.

"Yeah, maybe," I said.  "Look, I'm sorry if I sound so
pessimistic, but, but
. . . it's just -"  I stopped and looked the lieutenant in
the eyes.  "Can I
tell you something?  I just need to explain . . ."

"Sure, go ahead."

"I just *have* to be prepared for the worst to happen, or I
don't think I
could handle it.  I mean . . ."  I looked away.  "I know the
risks of being
a viper pilot - I accept them.  But, but . . . Starbuck is
the first person
I've ever felt this way about."  I paused, putting my hand
back over my
abdomen and smiling faintly, but then the smile faded.  "I
lost everyone in
the Destruction, everyone,"  I said after a moment.  "My
parents, my
brothers . . . everyone.   I grew up in an agro community,
and we were all
close, very close . . . I was away at the university when
the Cylons
attacked.  They were all at home.  I was the only one to
survive."  I was
amazed by how calmly I was able to say all of this, even
after over a
yahren.  "In those first few sectons, I'm not sure how I
made it, because I
was beyond despair, especially when the conditions kept
getting worse and
the food and water were running out.  I almost, almost . .
."  I couldn't
say the actual words, but I had been so close to just giving
up completely.

"So what got you through all that?"  Boomer asked quietly.
"From what I've
seen, you're one determined cadet."

I had to chuckle, because he was right.  And it was that
underlying
stubbornness that had finally helped pull me out of the
despair.  "It was
that food riot on the Virgus,"  I said.  "I mean, I had
already decided to
just . . . quit, when it happened.  We were lined up to
receive our
rations.  Rumors started flying.  People started pushing,
hitting, kicking.
I saw a man hit a child and grab her food - and I snapped.
I let him have
it, pulled the little girl out of the way, and was suddenly
determined to
help save others from animals like him. So I jumped into the
middle of the
rioting."

Boomer raised his eyebrows.  "So how'd you meet Reyana?  I
know you've said
it happened during that riot."

I took a long, deep breath and let it out slowly,
remembering, then gave him
a crooked smile.  "I was angry and got carried away, trying
to fight against
all those people who'd gone crazy, trying to keep others
from getting hurt -
like that little girl.  It must have been her terrified
face, or something.
But I suddenly vowed to myself that I was *not* going to
give in - not if I
still had the power to help others.  I figured I'd escaped
for a reason, and
I owed it to my family to not throw that away.  So I let my
stubbornness and
anger take over.  But it got me into trouble.  This guy had
me around the
neck . . . Reyana saved me and pulled me away from the
fighting.  Why, I don
't know.  But we stuck together after that.  And in just a
few sectons, we
were inseparable - like twin sisters.  We became each
other's family.
We'd do anything for each other."

Boomer had to chuckle.  "So I gathered.  I don't actually
know of two other
women who could, well . .uh,"  He stopped, looking
embarrassed.

"It's okay!"  I said, poking him in the ribs.  Lords, but I
even felt
comfortable enough around him to do that!  "But, yeah, we
can even peaceably
share the same man."  My grin faded as I remembered the
point I had actually
been trying to - and had yet to - make.  "But anyway, what
all this is
leading up to is *why* I have to let myself prepare for the
worst.  I just
have to."

Boomer gave me a puzzled look.  "Don't tell me you're ready
to give up that
easily?"

"No, no - it's not that."  This was so hard to put into
words.  But just
trying to, I realized, had helped.  I felt much calmer, now,
not so rattled,
as things began to settle in.  "Okay, I made a vow to myself
and my family
that I would never give up.  And that means - given the life
we all have and
how uncertain our future really is - that I have to be
prepared for anyone,
including Starbuck or Reyana, to walk out the door and just
not come back
sometime.  I mean, that's our life now.  It's yours, it's
Starbuck's, it's
Rey's.  It would have been mine had something . . . more
important not
happened so soon."  I smiled.  I felt the tears, but they
were not ones of
sorrow this time.  I let them flow.  "Oh, Boomer!  I *am*
glad for this,"  I
said, holding both hands to my abdomen.  "It's a gift.  It's
our future.
And I'd very much like Starbuck to be there, but . . . but,
I can deal with
whatever the Fates decide."  I shook my head.  "Does any of
this make any
sense?"  I asked.  "I love him, I do, more than I ever
thought possible.
And I will treasure our time together - however long that
may be."

"That sounds like Starbuck, you know," said Boomer.  He was
chuckling again.

"Yeah, I know," I said, smiling still.  "And I wouldn't
change one thing
about him!"

Boomer gave me a pat on the shoulder and stood up.  "You
sure you'll be
okay?"

"Yeah,"  I said, and I meant it.  That didn't mean I wasn't
going to worry
about him and Apollo, but I was through being the basket
case.  "Thanks.
Thanks for being such a good friend to Starbuck.  And to
us."

"No problem," he said.  "However," he added, a twinkle in
his eye, "having
gotten to know you two - and having bailed you out of
trouble, already, I
just hope Starbuck's up to the challenge he's gotten himself
into.  Between
you and Reyana, I'd have to say maybe he's finally met his
match!"

Boomer dodged the pillow I threw at him, then waved as he
headed on out.

*************

I passed Boomer on my back from the Bridge.  He gave
me a puzzled look when he noticed that I was actually
smiling.

"So how are you holding up?"  He asked a little
confused.

"I'm okay."  I answered, actually feeling more than a
little okay.  I was pretty excited about what I had
lined up for Aliana and the baby.  "Okay, a little
worried about Starbuck, but the Commander kind of
reassured me.  Starbuck always comes back, right?"

"Usually.  So there was no word yet?"  Boomer asked
concerned.

"No, not yet."  I took a deep sigh.  "He's probably
just taking a tour of the sector or something.  I'm
worried about Aliana though."  I said, dropping my
nonchalant attitude.

"You know, I think she's going to be okay."  Boomer
cast me an even stranger look.  "You know, you two
seem to really have a handle on Starbuck.  That's
actually kind of scary."

I chuckled.  "Yeah, tell me about it!  You headed to
the bridge?"

"Yeah I am."

"Will you get me the moment you know anything?"

"You bet."  Boomer said, then headed off.

I walked into the bunkroom to find Aliana at least
laying down on her bunk, but she was still wide awake.
 She started to get up when I came in, but I motioned
for her to stay where she was as I sat down on my bunk
across from her.

"What did you find out?"  She said, but not as
hurriedly as I would have expected.  But then again,
she probably could tell from my stance that I didn't
have any good news.

"Not anymore than Lt. Sheba told us.  Their short
range beacons are transmitting, so they know that they
are both..intact"  I hesitated over the word.  I
suddenly couldn't imagine anything worse than Starbuck
being vaporized on a patrol without a chance for
either of us to say good bye, not to even have a body
to bury.  But then I knew that's what must have
happened to Jamison during the destruction.  Blown to
bits without even someone left to report how it had
happened.  I hung my head and swallowed hard.

"Are you okay?"  Aliana asked.  She knew me too well.
No matter how hard I tried to hide things from here,
she always knew when something was wrong.

"Yeah, sorry, old stuff.  It doesn't matter."  I waved
her off and lay down on my bunk.  "Boomer said he'd
come get me the moment something happens.  I think I'm
going to get some sleep.  You should too."

I felt awful for doing it, for rolling away from her
and cutting her off.  But it was just something I
didn't want to share.  In some strange way, all I had
left of him was the grief, and I wanted to remember it
on my own.  I guess because I knew if I lost Starbuck,
I would have Aliana to share it with.  We would be
okay.  We had a piece of Starbuck with us still.

I still had my back turned to Aliana when I said,
"Ali?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really excited about the baby."

"So am I."  She sounded sincere.

I rolled over to look at her, and saw that she wore a
smile.  Her hands were on her stomach, already
cradling the baby.

She looked to me smiling, and I smiled back before
rolling away.

I was awake each time Boomer crept in to give us a
report.  None of the cadets seemed to mind the unusual
intrusion.  Word had spread quickly through the
Galactica about Apollo and Starbuck being long
overdue.  We weren't the only ones wanting an update.

Each time Boomer came in I kept expecting some sort of
news, since I hadn't told Boomer to give us centaurly
reports, just to let us know when he knew something.
Sheba joined him most of the time.  So far, there was
no news.  Aliana finally dozed off, but we still woke
her each time.  I knew it was the only reason she was
sleeping, knowing that Boomer, and now Sheba, wouldn't
let us down.

It was almost time for the day to begin when Boomer
came running into the bunkroom smiling and out of
breath.

"What?!  Good news?"  Aliana asked, shooting out of
her bunk as if she were electrified.

"You bet!!"  Boomer said.

"Well what?!"  I yelled.

"They took damage, but they're okay and on their way
back!"

"Who took damage?  How bad?  How far out of range are
they?"  I shot questions off at him.

He shot answers back.  "Apollo took a hit.  His
engines are gone and Starbuck had to tow him back.
We're already sending out a patrol to intercept them
and take care of the outpost they found.  Starbuck's
fine."

"Say that again?"  Aliana said, not believing for a
moment that she heard right.

"Starbuck is fine!"  Boomer said taking Aliana by the
arm as if to make the words more real.

"How's Apollo?"  I asked suddenly worried.  He was
afterall Starbuck's best friend.

"He's okay too.  No injuries."

"That's good!  Heck, that's GREAT!!!"  I yelled,
waking up the rest of the bunkroom.

"Let's get to the landing bay!"  Aliana said, starting
to rush off.

"Well you're going to have a long wait.  They're still
a ways off.  Probably won't be in for centaurs."

"I don't care."  Aliana said deteminedly as she
stalked off for the landing bay.

Boomer shot me a puzzled look, and I shrugged back.

"She's stubborn, what can I say?  Don't worry, I'll
take care of her.  You know, I think I owe you
breakfast.  Let me go get her and we'll meet you in
the mess hall.  Oh and tell Lt. Sheba thanks!"  I
trotted after Aliana.

She was almost running for the landing bay when I
caught up to her.

"Whoa!  Wait up!"  I yelled.

"Well catch up!"  She said, not slowing her pace.

"Ali, we have centaurs, slow down!"

She finally stopped, but she shot me an annoyed look.

"Look Ali, we have centaurs to wait.  Let's get some
food and clean up first, okay?"  I said, panting from
running to catch up with her.

"I can't.  I have to see him.  I have to talk with
him.  I need to make him see that everything will be
okay."

"Okay.okay."  I said, putting up my hands to keep her
from running off again.  "Aliana, you have a whole
life time to do that.  First get some food."

"Do I?  Do I have a whole lifetime to do that?  Do any
of us?  No, we don't!  None of us do.  Don't you see
how important it is for us to tell each other every
day, every moment, what we mean to each other?"  She
had that frantic "what the fates may bring" look in
her eye that I had noticed more and more lately since
her crash landing.  Something about her finding out
she was pregnant had put that look forever in her
eyes.

"Yes, I do.  Ali, I care for you."

That stopped her cold.  "Oh Rey, ."

I cut her off, not letting the opportunity go.  "You
are my family Ali.  You are everything I have now, and
I will do anything in my power to take care of you and
to show you how much you mean to me.  And right now,
that means seeing that you stay healthy and eat when
you are supposed to!"

Aliana looked at me intently, then shook her head
laughing.  "Okay, okay.I guess I do have time don't
I?"

"Yes, we do.  Besides, I promised Boomer and Sheba
breakfast.  Then maybe we should get some sleep, since
we didn't get any last night."

"But I want to be in the landing bay when Starbuck
comes in."  She protested.

"Okay, you will be.  But right now, the fates want you
to take care of yourself, okay."

She laughed again.  "Oh, so now you're the fates?"

"When it comes to seeing that you take care of
yourself, yes, yes I am.  Come on, the fates are
bringing breakfast your way."

She came along willingly.  Breakfast was actually very
pleasant.  Sheba I was pleased to discover is actually
pretty human, for a Silver Spar Pegasus Lieutenant.
She of course was still worried about Apollo.  She
didn't believe Starbuck's transmission that Apollo
wasn't injured.  I can't say that I blame her.  It's
hard to picture taking a hit, losing all three
engines, and not to have some sort of injury.  Boomer
did admit that normally Starbuck would be the last one
to deliver bad new.  But Boomer also admitted that
when it came to Apollo, he would have been straight
with the Commander.  Boomer reassured Sheba that if
Apollo was hurt, Starbuck would see that there would
be Hades to pay if the whole Life Center staff wasn't
on hand in the landing bay.

It was at breakfast that I officially heard the word
that Graduation ceremonies, which had been scheduled
for today, would be officially postponed.  Apparently
several of our fellow cadets had gone to the Commander
requesting that it be put off until their favorite
instructor, Lt. Starbuck, could attend.  It was a
relief.  I couldn't imagine Graduating without
Starbuck there.

After breakfast I was able to talk Aliana into going
back to the bunkroom, but she never did get some
sleep.  We cleaned up and changed clothes, but she
paced the bunkroom, and I finally relented and let her
head to the landing bay.  Besides, I needed some time
alone to take care of a few things.  I had a few
surprises for Starbuck and Aliana.  I had a plan that
I had set in motion for making things easier on all of
us, especially on Starbuck.  I knew that in time, with
the right incentives, he could be happy about the baby
and the changes it would bring.  But I knew he needed
the right incentives.  He needed the situation to be
easy, with minimal complications.  I could do that.  I
could make it all right.  Oh I do believe in the
fates, but sometimes they just need a little helping
hand.

I was able to finish up just as word was given that
Apollo and Starbuck were landing.  Aliana and I
weren't the only ones in the landing bay to greet
them.  It seemed that all of Blue Squadron, as well as
most of the cadets showed up.  The Commander also came
down to watch Apollo's viper being towed in.

Our shouts of joy were quickly silenced as we saw the
horrible lazer burns on Apollo's viper.  His engines
were gone, literally gone.  He had his delta wing, the
bottom part of the lower two engines, and his cockpit
and nose section.  That was it.  We were all amazed
that he had been able to maintain life support.  A med
team had been called to the landing bay just in case,
and they ran to Apollo's cockpit, but he popped the
canopy and hopped out without a scratch on him.  I
noticed though, as I got closer, that he looked pretty
worse for wear, and there were marks on his face that
must have been left by his portable breather.  He had
lost life support after all.

Starbuck was greeted as the hero of the day.  Everyone
was quick to slap him on the back and congratulate him
for a job well done.  He basked in the glow, smiling
and hugging everyone.  I just hung back and smiled at
the scene.  I knew I'd get my chance later to tell him
how great he was, of course by then his head would be
so swollen I'd have to find some way to bring him down
a peg or two.

Aliana was right up in the thick of it, anxious to hug
and greet him.  I noticed he took a moment to hug her
and spoke a few words just for her.  Then I saw him
look around, until he saw me and waved.  I waved back
and smiled, but stayed where I was.  Boomer came up
beside me.

"Go on, go hug the hero."  Boomer said, giving me a
nudge with his elbow.

"That's okay.  I'm sure he'll regale me later with the
tale of how he saved the day."

Boomer gave me a funny look, but didn't say anything.
We both stood there watching the reunion party.
Aliana finally came over to the two of us.

"I guess everyone is headed to the Officer's club."
She said.

"You both are invited you know."  Boomer stated.

"I could use a drink.  I think I owe you one Boomer."
I said.

"Naw, you bought me breakfast."

"I'll catch up with you later."  Aliana said softly.
"Starbuck and I have to talk."  She flashed me a
knowing look.  "You should be there."  She said
looking at me again.

"I'll see you in the officer's club."  I said, and
turned and walked away.

Boomer caught up to me in the lift.  We rode in
silence for a few moments before he asked, "Things are
different now?"

"Yeah, just a little."  I said then sighed.  "Don't
worry.  It'll work out."

"I'm here if you need to talk."  Boomer said, and I
knew that he meant it.

"Thanks.  It's going to be okay."  The lift opened and
we headed into the Officers Club.  I didn't stay too
long though.  I had a few surprises to take care of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I walked through the maze of corridors that led to the
celestial chamber,
I think my steps became slower and slower.  I was dreading
the impending
discussion, afraid that it would escalate into an all-out
fight.  Or end in
neither one of us talking to each other.  And I was wishing
fervently that I
had not let Reyana talk me into doing this *alone.*  After
all, we were
supposed to be in this all together - all THREE of us.  And
I needed her as
my strength and support and the Voice of Reason if Starbuck
and I let our
emotions rum rampant again, as they had the first time, in
the landing bay
before his patrol.

But Reyana had insisted that, given the circumstances, I
should make this a
one-on-one thing. She had kept giving me that wicked smile
of hers, the one
she has when she's plotting something sneaky.  I don't know
what she thought
might happen -certainly nothing for which we'd need to be
*alone*.  Except
maybe to guarantee we had a sound-proof environment to drown
out all of the
yelling and screaming I pictured occurring.

So as I approached the entrance to the main thrusters, my
heart was thumping
in my chest, and I had to consciously force each foot to
move.  Maybe he
wasn't there yet.  Maybe he would have other pressing
duties.  Maybe I could
hide some place else and just *say* I went.  That would
serve Rey right for
making me do this alone!

"There are just certain times," she had said with that coy
smile, "that one
of us needs to back off.  And I'm certain that this is one
of those."

I stopped as I reached the hatch and pressed my back against
the wall.
*Just open the panel, get the ear protectors, and go!* I
told myself.  But
my feet felt frozen to the deck.  I just didn't know what my
reaction would
be when I finally saw him again, face to face.  Alone.  They
had only been
missing for a little over a day, but it had seemed like a
lifetime.  And
just when I had prepared myself for the worst to have
happened - how can I
*not* assume the worst after losing my entire family in the
Great
Destruction? - Boomer had reported that they were returning.
Safe and
sound.  Everything just fine.  Except that we had this one
minor little
detail to work out.  Sure, meeting in the celestial chamber
after their
debriefing with the commander was *Starbuck's* idea, but I
was still
convinced that
Reyana should have been there, too.

I had just gotten up the nerve to open the panel when I
heard quick-paced
footsteps echoing down the corridor.  I looked back down the
way I had come,
at the turn in the corridor.  A moment later, Starbuck
rounded the corner
and stopped.  Lords, but we must have looked like a scene
from a sappy
vidnovel, because I forgot all of my nervousness and fears
at that micron.
I greeted him about halfway down the corridor with a teary
smile, burying
myself in his open arms, gripping the back of his flight
jacket as I pulled
him tightly to me.

****
"You're being stupid and stubborn!"  I screamed at him.
"Getting sealed
was *never* a part of the plan, remember?"

What had started out as a calm discussion had quickly
degenerated.  I had
hoped, with his first comment that he and Apollo had talked
at length, that
everything would be fine, that he had rationally thought
about this.
Apparently, I was wrong, because his next statement had been
to say, again,
that getting sealed just seemed like the appropriate course
of action.  The
incongruity of how casually he had said what I knew to be
the totally wrong
decision, especially for someone like him, had complete
blown my composure.
I had started screaming at him.

Starbuck wasn't shouting, yet, but his face was red and he
was practically
growling.  "Stubborn?  Just *who's* being stubborn?  You
won't even listen -
"

"What would be the point?"  I was still yelling.  "Why waste
time with
worthless formalities when I'll probably end up having to do
this alone,
anyway?"  I was being unfair.  I knew it as soon as I said
it, but all the
worry and fear from earlier was suddenly spilling out.

Starbuck looked like I'd slapped him in the face. "What's
that suppose to
mean?"

I couldn't stop myself.  "It means that one of these days,
odds are that you
*won't* come back from one of your patrols or missions!"
The tears were
flowing now, too, as I spat all of this at him.  "I know
that!  I *expect*
it, even."

He looked stunned.  "Hey, I *always* come back, remember?"
he said after a
moment.  The joke did not hide the hurt in his eyes, though.
I had hit a
nerve, because he suddenly dropped all pretenses when I
answered him with an
angry stare.  "Does that mean that you want me out of the
picture now? Is
that it?  Well?"  He was shouting now, and not giving me
time to answer.
"Make it easy and shut me out now?  Well, forget it!"

I turned away.  I was too angry, too upset, to speak,
because the idea had
crossed my mind.  That maybe it would be simpler and safer
to just let him
go.  Then he'd be free of the added burden that I knew he
didn't want,
anyway. I had never had any intentions of tying him down --

He must have been reading my mind, because he grabbed my arm
so hard
that it hurt and swung me around.  He looked enraged and -
scared - at the
same time.  "You think I don't want this baby, don't you?
That's it, isn't
it?  You think I'm saying all of this because it's the
'right thing to do,'
not because that's how I feel?  Well, honey, no, I'm not
stupid!  I knew
damn well that this could happen!  And I'm glad!  I'm glad!
Don't you
understand?"  He was screaming in my face and shaking my arm
as he said
this.  And I saw tears glistening in his eyes.  "I *want*
this!"

'What?"  I said it so softly I wasn't sure he'd heard me.  I
felt stunned
and horribly guilty, now, because he had pinpointed my exact
feelings and
fears - that he would feel trapped - and was saying
something I honestly had
not expected to hear from him.  Not from Starbuck, the
freedom-loving,
woman-chasing, live-for-the-moment warrior.  "You want this
baby?"

"Of course I do!"  He suddenly pulled me close, wrapping his
arms around me
so tightly.  "Of course I do," he said more quietly.  "And
when Apollo and I
ran into those Cylons out on that patrol, I was *determined*
to get back.
There was no way that I wasn't going to let you *know* how I
feel.  Not
after how badly I reacted before launching . . ."

He pulled me back so that he could look me in the eyes.
"Look, it hit me
while Apollo and I were talking.  Just what this means.
Just that, that . .
. I'll finally have someone who's . . . who's a part of me."

His gaze was desperate, pleading for me to believe him.  I
knew that what he
'd just told me was straight from the heart and had been
very, very
difficult for him to voice.  And  I saw that the tears had
left streaks down
his cheeks. I lost it, too, starting to sob.  "I do believe
you,"  I
whispered.

He reach out with both hands to guide my face to his,
kissing me with the
same desperation that had reflected through his deep blue
eyes.  I felt
electrified as the intense emotion, the anger turned
suddenly to
comprehension, resolved into a burning desire.  As we
kissed, passionately,
I ran my hands over his face, through his hair, feeling the
warmth of his
skin, the smooth, softness of his hair, the strength of his
arms as he
pulled me still closer.  His hands were caressing my back,
my neck.  The
sensation was intense, maddening, even.  I had never felt
this way before,
so hungrily, desperately wanting him, needing him. . .I
broke the kiss and
pressed myself tightly against his chest, my arms wrapped
across his back,
my face buried in his shoulder. I felt so safe, so secure,
and suddenly so
happy that we were helping to create a future for not just
us, but for the
human race.  I believed him when he said he wanted this
child.  I believed
him.  And I wanted him now.  Desperately.

*******
We were supposed to have been attending a celebration in the
Officer's Club,
toasting the safe return of the missing warriors.  We were
late, very late.
Finally, finally we were able to talk about our situation,
calmly, openly,
and honestly.  He told me about the long discussion he had
had with Apollo,
before running into the Cylons.  The captain had pointed out
the obvious,
too: that if you fool around, don't be so shocked at the
consequences.  And
after he had settled down, Starbuck had realized just what
it meant - that
he would have a family, someone who shared a blood
connection to him.  And
that meant more to him than he had realized.  Apollo had
recognized it even
before he had.

Apollo.  Starbuck's own "conscience" and "Voice of Reason,"
he had said with
a twinkle in his eye.  As closely connected to him as if he
had  been his
true brother.  It was the same bond that Reyana and I
shared, so I
understood.  But despite how close they were, Starbuck had
always had that
yearning to have an actual, genetic connection. . . a
history.

Apollo had also pointed out to a skeptical Starbuck just how
good he thought
he would be as a father.  He had described how he had seen
the lieutenant
interact so easily with Boxey and other children, such as
when they had gone
over to the Orphan Ship for triad demonstrations.  Apollo
had stated that he
made the children beam with his sense of humor.  Starbuck
still sounded
skeptical, but it made sense to me.  I trusted Apollo's
judgment, even if
Starbuck didn't.

Still, as they had talked, Starbuck had kept saying that we
should be
sealed.  Apollo had not supported or rejected the idea,
saying that that
would be up to us, but the captain had reiterated his
father's proposal and
the actual *need* for arrangements such as the one he,
Reyana and I had
worked out.  All this from someone I knew to be quite
traditional in his
views.  Starbuck had told me, then, that the picture of a
"perfect
family" -- like he had never had -- kept pushing the idea of
getting sealed
into his thoughts.  Wasn't a family supposed to be the
mother, the father,
and the child?  There had been times, so many times, when he
was young that
he had fervently wished for such a family and such a life.

But then I had, in my turn, explained how I felt -- that I
felt no need, had
no desire, to be sealed.  I described how the Great
Destruction had
completely changed my way of thinking.  How I now felt that
our current life
was too uncertain, too shaky, to worry about the formalities
of a sealing
ceremony.  Besides, I had said, I liked our current
arrangement.  And while
I fully expected him to share all responsibilities that
having a child
entailed, the odds were pretty good that, one of these days,
he would go out
on a patrol or mission and not return.  I hated to be so
fatalistic, but
that was how I honestly felt.

By that point in our discussion, though, it didn't bother
him.   "Well, I
love beating the odds," he said, winking, "so I'll have fun
proving you
wrong!"  He also admitted, finally, that getting sealed
should not be a part
of our
plans.

Eventually, centars late, we headed down to the Officer's
Club.

**************

Starbuck and Aliana were more than a little late to
the celebration in the Officers Club, but I had
expected they would be.  They had a lot to talk about.
 I hoped that Starbuck would talk some sense into her,
convince her that getting sealed was the right thing
to do.

In the meantime, Capt. Apollo enjoyed the attention
that he so often usually shared with Starbuck.  I
enjoyed myself too, spending most of my time talking
with Boomer, and even had a great conversation with
Sheba.  I found out that we both love the theater and
had seen some of the same plays produced by a
traveling company.  We even made plans to see about
attending some of the plays they were talking about
putting on over on the Senior Ship.  Apparently some
of the seniors had been in the entertainment field.

When Starbuck and Aliana arrived there was a loud
cheer and Starbuck was welcomed as a hero.  He was so
funny, talking about how he was going to become a
drunkard from all the parties they were throwing for
him for saving Apollo from certain doom.  Apollo gave
him a hard time back about all how it only seemed fair
since without Apollo constantly saving Starbuck's
career Starbuck would be in the brig instead of saving
him.

Things finally settled down and Aliana and I wound up
at a table with Starbuck, Boomer, Sheba, Apollo and
Athena.  They were great about including Aliana and I
in the conversation, and talk finally turned to what
squadrons we thought we would like to end up with
after graduation.

"I think you'd make a great addition to Red Squadron."
 Boomer said sincerely.  "I'm not sure Silver Spar
could handle your style.  I mean, Starbuck was your
instructor."

I laughed at that, and Starbuck said "Hey, that seat
of the pants flying comes in handy sometimes."

"You know, I don't think I'd mind Blue Squadron.  I
mean, they're already used to Starbuck constantly
crashing vipers right?  So my dents and scratches
should be no big deal."  We all laughed at that.

"So Aliana, what squadron would you like to go to?"
Athena asked.

I noticed that the table suddenly suffered an awkward
silence.  It became clear to me that maybe everyone
but Athena knew about Aliana's condition.  I was about
to rush to cover for Aliana, to spare her having to
make so public an announcement, when Starbuck spoke
up.

"Aliana has a more important job to do than flying
Vipers."  Starbuck said taking her hand in his and
smiling.  "She's going to be a mom!"  Starbuck leaned
over and kissed her on the cheek.

I noticed however that he never actually stated out
loud that he was the father.  But I let it go for now,
especially since I realized so many of his friends at
the table seemed to already know.

Everyone was quick to congratulate her and Apollo
offered up a toast to "The happy family", pretty much
confirming that we all knew Starbuck was the father.

"Speaking of the happy family,"  I said.  "If all of
you don't mind, I have a few surprises for the mom-to
be."

"Surprises?  What are you talking about?"  Aliana
asked confused.

"Well, I had to pull some strings.  And I kind of
flung your name and rank around Starbuck, hope you
don't mind."

"Well at least it did you some good.  Doesn't seem to
help me."  He said sarcastically.

"Come on, I'll show you.  Let's go Starbuck, say your
good-byes."

"But I'm not finished with my drink?"  Starbuck
started to protest.  "They all said they'd buy me
drinks?"

"No we didn't!"  Boomer protested.

"You can con them out of drinks later.  Maybe tomorrow
you can save Boomer.  Let's go."  I said, taking his
fumarello from him and having my own puff.

Aliana just smiled at the two of us as we continued to
fake argue our way out of the Officers Club.

I led them down near the Council of Twelve chambers,
and one of the better officer eating lounges, before I
came to a corridor labeled VIP Quarters.  They both
asked me repeatedly where we were headed, but I just
kept telling them that they would see.

I loved the look of shock on both their faces as I
keyed the entry pad for what used to be a Sire's guest
quarters.

"Ta Da!  I said as I entered the rather spacious room.


The guest quarters were set up in a quad pattern, four
large rooms with a central restroom and kitchen area.
The quarters were meant to house dignitaries visiting
the Galactica, and were very spacious.  The room I
chose for us to enter had a viewport to the stars, a
large comfortable couch and two chairs, as well as a
full bed in the corner.

"Wow."  Aliana said.  "This is nice.  How did you get
this?  Do we have it for the whole night?"

"No, these are your quarters."  I said grinning from
ear to ear.

"These are my quarters?"  Aliana walked around the
room in awe.

"Remember, the Survival Plan?  Well, new mothers get
special privileges.  Especially since you seem to be
the first one."

"Rey, I've got to admit, you've outdone me."  Starbuck
said, walking over to admire the view.

"Wait, there's more!  Follow me."

Both of them were speechless as I showed them large
food processing area, and a turbo wash with a washing
tub.

"I haven't seen a tub since."  Aliana started to say,
tears coming to her eyes.

"I know, since before the destruction.  I have first
dibs on that by the way!  My payment so to speak."

"Okay, you've earned it."  Aliana said, brushing a
tear from her eye.

Aliana started to hug me, but I held up my hands.
"There's more!"  I giggled in delight.  It was so much
fun seeing the look on Aliana's face.

I led them through a door in the food processing
center to another room without a star viewport.
"These are my quarters."  The room was of the same
dimensions and furnishings as the first, only minus
the chair.  I opened another door to a room also minus
the star viewport.  "This is Starbuck's quarters."

"You're kidding?  Starbuck entered the room, his mouth
hanging open.  He walked the entire circumference of
the room, touching every item.

"You're kidding, right?" Starbuck said again.

"Well, I did have to use your name and rank, so I
figured it was only fair.  Oh, and they're going to
deduct a little pay, not much though, I promise.  You
probably won't even notice."

Starbuck didn't even hear what I said about his pay.
His eyes had a dreamy look, and he said, "I don't know
if I could sleep in here.  I've never had a room to
myself before.  This is almost a quarter of the
bachelor's bunkroom!"

It's easy at times to forget Starbuck's past, but I
realized as he said it that it was probably true.
He'd been in group settings almost his whole life,
from orphanages to the academy to the squadron.

"You can do what you want with it."  I said trying to
make him feel more comfortable with the idea.  "Hey,
turn it into a card room or something!"

"Yeah, that's a great idea!"  Starbuck said, his eyes
twinkling with mischief.

"There's more!"  I said, taking hold of the edge of
his jacket and dragging Starbuck away from his new
gambling den.

I opened the door to the last room.  This room also
had a star viewport.  But more than that, the gray
walls of the room had been painted a soft yellow that
glowed.  From the ceiling hung paper moons and stars,
and instead of a bed in the corner, there was a wooden
crib.

Aliana gasped, and then started to cry in earnest.
She walked over to the crib.

"Wow, I had forgotten that walls used to have color."
Starbuck said reaching out to touch the paint.

"Careful, it's not dry yet!  Do you like it?"  I
asked, already knowing the answer.

"I like the stars, nice touch."  Starbuck said
smiling.

"Where did you find this?"  Aliana said, running her
fingers over the wood rails of the crib reverently.

"Well, it seems Shyra still has a few connections.  It
cost me those pictures we took of her and Uri though.
Oh, and look what else I found!"  I pointed to a table
with a toy Viper and action figure, and a small foam
triad ball and backboard.

"Hey, I had one of those Vipers when I was growing up!
 You can control it with a remote!"  Starbuck said
picking up the toy and trying to turn it on.

"When did you have time to do all this?"  Aliana
asked.

"Well, I actually was able to arrange a lot of it
through the computer terminal.  That Survival Plan
Memo had a mail address that went straight to the
Commander, so, well, I used it and signed Starbuck's
name.  I got a pretty fast response too!  And then
when Starbuck turned up missing, I couldn't sleep, so
basically I woke up a duty officer.  He was bored and
had some spare time, I think his name was Omega.  He
says he knows you Starbuck, and well, that helped too.
 He's the one who found the paint for me.  Believe it
or not, he had some of the bridge crew cutting out the
stars!"

"Oh lords, I am never going to hear the end of that
one!"  Starbuck said shaking his head and laughing.

"I wanted to do more.  Shyra said she could get some
really nice baby clothes and maybe some decorations
for the room, but, well, I didn't feel right using her
connections too much."

"Oh Rey, you did enough!"  Aliana said turning to hug
me.  "This is wonderful!"

It felt so good to make her happy, and even Starbuck
seemed excited by everything.  I just hoped he'd stay
that way when he saw how much of his pay this was
going to take.

"So you have quarters here too, you're not backing
out?"  Aliana asked while hugging me.

I stiffened a little and backed away.  I still wasn't
sure what the two of them had talked about or how
Starbuck really felt about all this, so I chose a safe
middle of the road answer.

"I want to be here for the baby too!  It will be fun
to be part of a family again, and you are going to
need some help at times."

"You didn't answer the question."  Aliana said.  She
knew me too well.

I looked from Aliana to Starbuck, and saw how happy
they looked.  They had obviously worked some things
out in the Celestial Chamber and I was glad for that.


"I just feel that, oh I don't know, it's just that."

Starbuck put the toy down and approached me.  "We're
not getting sealed.  Aliana had a good point, and
besides, I'm not exactly the marrying kind.  We're
just going to take this at it comes.  All of this."
He said looking from Aliana to me.

I sighed, and looked at Aliana.  "You know, you can
really be stubborn when you want to be."

She smiled and said, "I know.  But like you said,
we're a family now."  She reached out to hold my hand,
and with her other she took Starbuck's hand.

"So we agree to take it as it comes, right?"  She said
looking from me to Starbuck.
We both nodded our assent.  I wasn't sure how we were
going to work this out.  But I couldn't let them down.