FACING THE PAST
By alverine (allycat)

As Starbuck walked towards the lower decks of the Galactica, he began to
wonder why
he was doing this. He knew that the old therapeutic chambers hadn't been
used since the
destruction of the colonies. Everyone was to busy trying to survive, and no
one really wanted to think about that horrible time. He knew he didn't, but
then that wasn't the reason he had came down here.

As he stepped inside the chamber, again he wondered why. It wasn't
nerves about an upcoming mission, or to face the lose of anyone to the
cylons. They hadn't ran into any cylons in a few sectons now. No, the
reason he was here had nothing to do with the reason most warriors came
to these old chambers.

As he sat down on the soft couch, he could almost feel the memories start to
flood his mind.

It was two cycles ago, when Cassie had told him to face the past. And to
admit
that what he felt for her wasn't true love. She had known for a while
now, that she wasn't the woman in his heart. Oh, he "Cared" for her but he
didn't "Really" love her. It was time they both faced that, and moved
on. Then, she just walked away after saying goodbye for the last time.
He wanted to tell her she was wrong, but he couldn't.
He knew she was right, he didn't know why he wasn't able to love her the way
she wanted, and deserved to be loved, maybe that's why he as here. Maybe he
needed to look into the past, his past, to find  the reason. Why he found it
so
hard to let a woman into his heart.

He took a deep breath and flipped the switch that would activate the
computer, after a micron, a pleasant female voice spoke. It asked him to
relax, and get comfortable, and when he was ready, to begin.

Where do I begin, Stabuck asked himself, to which the computer answered, why
don't you start at the beginning. Starbuck smiled as he leaned back further
into the soft cushions of the couch, The beginning, well I guess that would
be a good place to start.

His mind went back, back to the beginning, back to the orphanage where he
grew up,
He had been a shy kid, in the early yahrens at the orphanage, then when he
was
12 yahrens old,
he met a girl named Heather. She was a yahren older then him, with long
brown
hair and big brown eyes, which he always felt could look right into his
soul.
He was determined to get her to like him, he would sit close to her at
class and find himself gazing at her for the longest time, trying to get the
nerve to talk to her, he would sneak a flower into her desk on occasion,
when she was not at it and also unsigned notes telling her how he felt. He
would blush when he saw her reaction, to his little gifts,
as she and her friends would whisper quietly to each other. Finally he got
up the courage to tell her that he was the one leaving the notes, and giving
her
the flowers. Which he had picked outside the orphanage on his was to
learning
period.

He had expected her to say something like "oh, how sweet, I just loved
everything, I'm so glad it was you" or something along those lines, but
instead she just looked at him and started to laugh, soon the whole room was
laughing. She said in a loud voice that she didn't believe him, he couldn't
be the one who wrote those beautiful notes and gave her all those things.
You must be crazy to think "ANYONE" could like you... she yelled.
You are a gawky, skinny boy, who's own family gave him away. Then she
laughed
even harder.  He had never been so embarrassed in his whole life He ran an
hid
behind the gym annex until long after learning period, thinking about
everything she
had said. It wasn't true his parents didn't give him away he thought, they
died, just like the
counselor at the orphanage had told him. after waiting until he was sure
everyone
had left the learning center he finally came out of hiding and headed back
toward the orphanage.
He made himself a promise  on that day. That he would make them all pay for
how they treated him. He would get all the girls to like him, but he would
never,
never, really like any of them ever, he would show them.

Starbuck laughed at this memory, well I guess I "Really" showed them didn't
I. Starbuck closed his eyes and tried not to let the loneliness he felt
overwhelm
him. He had never felt so alone as he did at that moment.

There had been many girls, and women, who had paid the price for that pain.
>From the orphanage to the academy,there were a string of broken hearts.
As Starbuck tried to remember all his conquests. the red heads, the blondes,
and the brunettes, he laughed. He had learned a lot
about women from all the women in his life. Or so he thought.

Then, Starbuck met a girl who again, would take his breath away, and all he
thought he had
learned would be forgotten..



FACING THE PAST part 2

He still remembered the first time he "Really" saw her. He came home from
the academy with Apollo, like he had been doing for over a yarhen now, when
she came
running into the kitchen to show Illa her new party gown, she had gotten
it for the annual Commanders Ball, which was going to be held in a few
cycles. She
was a vision, her soft brown hair, circled her face and flowed over her
shoulders, Her eyes as blue and clear as the crystal blue waters of the lake
that shimmered over the hill from their house, sparkled with excitement. She
twirled
around them smiling, and Starbuck felt his heart melt. As he watched her
dance with joy,
He shook his head trying to clear it. Surly this lovely creature could not
be Apollo's
little sister. When they were home just sectars ago, she was this skinny
little thing with
pigtails, who followed them everywhere and bugged them to let her tag
along. The vision before him now was a beautiful young woman, this couldn't
be her, he thought.
She had grown up when they weren't looking.
He shook his head again, but the vision remained.

And as Starbuck sit there on the couch, He thought to himself, No, the
vision hasn't changed. She still looks the same way to me now. Even after
all we have been though I'll still see her the same way. The beautiful
vision that danced around
her mothers kitchen so long ago.

The day He fell truly "In Love" even though he did not realize that fact
until this very micron. Is that what Cassie had meant? Had she known all
along that the woman who was in my heart, was Athena, Some how Starbuck
knew that she had..she had always been able to see into his heart, even when
he never could.
Not until now.

But was it too late, He knew he had hurt Athena badly, was there any hope at
all of
making things right with her, And how would Apollo take the news...he
thought.
Starbuck wasn't sure he wanted to find out the answer to that question.
Starbuck absently ask himself, what he should do, and jumped slightly when
the computer voice answered, "why don't you write her a letter". Starbuck
laughed at this, yeah why not, it worked so well for me for me in the past.

Starbuck got up and turned off the computer and left for his billet, as he
walked toward the turbo-lift, He began to think that maybe, just maybe
writing a letter to Athena would be a good Idea, that way she would know how
he felt, with out feeling pressured, or anything.
And what ever she decides good or bad, he would deal with it then.
Deciding that's what he would do, Starbuck felt a little more confident.


FACING THE PAST part 3

When Starbuck entered the squadrons quarters, he went to his locker and got
out
a writing pad and marker and headed for a quiet place where he could gather
his thoughts
and begin to write, what would be the most difficult letter of his life.
Soon he found himself in the
launch tubes, and thought it ironic, that this would  be the place he'd end
up. He
couldn't help but laugh at the thought. He still remembered vividly the last
time he had
been here, It was with Cassie. And he knew it was Athena who had vented the
steam, that scalded
him that day, but He knew he also deserved it.
Finally finding  a comfortable spot,he sat down and began to write.

Dearest Athena,
Hi! Its me Starbuck,...No.... Don't throw it away, Let me
finish...Please.

I was given some good advice, by someone, to face my past and my true
feelings, and so that is what I'm doing.
I took a long look inside myself, to find out why I am the way I am,
and to be honest, I didn't like what I saw, but I had to look.
And there in the depth of my heart I found the woman who was there.
The woman I didn't see, but cassie was able to see. And that woman
was...YOU...
No don't laugh...Please, by the Lords...don't laugh, for its true, It's you
Athena, I came to that realization last night. It has always been you, ever
since I first...really...saw you, that day in your mothers kitchen, in your
party gown for the annual Commanders Ball, shortly after your 17th natal
day. But even though I fell in love with you right then, and I got to know
you even better after that time, I also let my past push us apart.
You see, I was making you pay for something you had nothing to do with, I
had been making every girl, or woman pay for the "pain" inflicted on me as
boy
all my life. And It wasn't until now, until Cassie told me that I could
never be happy until I faced the past, and let it go, that I was able to do
just that... I'm no longer that little boy, who was scarred so deeply, by a
girl in his childhood.
I'm all grown up now, and I need to put that pain in the past where it
belongs...

I guess what I'm trying to say Athena is this, I hurt you deeply I know. And
although there is no real excuse, I wanted you to know that when I asked you
to be sealed, on the day after the Holocaust, and you told me you didn't
want to love anyone especially me, what I heard in my heart, was what a
girl so long ago had said... that No-one, would ever like me... and even
though  you were shedding tears, what my heart heard was laughter,
the laughter of a girl from my past, another girl whom I had opened my heart
too...
I'm sorry for that Athena, sorry I didn't "hear" what you were trying to
tell me. Instead I withdrew, hiding behind that shell I put up to protect
myself so long ago.

But that shell is no longer there, not for you, I'm leaving my heart wide
open, to do with as you will, I wouldn't blame you if you stomped on it, the
way I stomped on yours over the last sectars, but I'm hoping you will look
inside, and see yourself there looking back out at you.

You are the only woman who has ever made it to the deepest part of my heart
Athena, The one I had to run from if I was going to keep this wall in place.
But no matter how far, I ran, you were always there, I couldn't see
you, even though Cassiopeia could.. you were  there.

I realize now that you'll always be there, even if you throw this letter
away
and never think of me again. I know now that there can never be anyone else
to fill it.

I guess that is all I'll say for now, I don't expect you to come running to
me and take me back into you life.
But I hope you will give it some thought, and what ever you decide, I will
respect you decision. I just wanted you to know. I LOVE YOU! and for the
first time in my life I really mean and feel those words...... Starbuck

As Starbuck finished the letter he folded  it an place it into the pocket
of his jacket, he wondered if he would ever
have the nerve to give it to her, It seems as though the past is repeating
itself he thought,  He could only hope that this time the ending didn't hurt
as
much...He went to bed that night and hoped it wouldn't.

The next morning, Starbuck awoke early, long before he was to go on duty,
and wondered how he was going to give Athena the letter, did he just go up
to her and hand it to her. He didn't think he would be able to do that, so
He decided to leave it by her desk on the bridge. He know she was on duty in
a few centons, so placing the letter into a folder he wrote her name on it
and headed for the bridge, he hoped that there weren't to many people up
there yet, one in piticular Athena's father...


    Starbuck left the bridge in a hurry not wanting to run into Comander
Adama, he didn't want to start answering questions about what he was doing
on the bridge at that early in the cycle.
    All he kept thinking was, "what will she think?"
"Will she think its just another one of my many games!"
He hoped not. He stept off the turbo lift and headed straight for the launch
bay, figuring on keeping himself busy until time for patrol.

    Athena arrived a little early for her shift, hoping to finish a few
calculations on a test program she was working on, before her shift began.
As she sat down at her station she noticed a folder with her name on it, she
immediatly recognized Starbucks hand writing. "What would Starbuck be giving
her a letter for?" Athena thought.  She had heard the rumors of his and
Cassie's break up. Could he possably think she would consider give him
another shot at breaking her heart, if so he was sadly mistaken. She picked
up the folder and was about to throw it away when she heard her father
arrive on the bridge, hurridly she placed the letter in the pocket of her
uniform, not wanting to face, that look....
    "Good morning father!" Athena said, while turning to great her father,
"How was your night last night, did you manage to get any rest?" She knew
her father
had been working much too hard these last sectars, and she was really
begining to worry about him.."Oh, I'm fine Athena", Adama replied,
as he peeked over her shoulder "how's the program coming along?"
"Not to well" she replied,"I still having trouble getting the sequences
right, but I'll get it
eventually"  "I'm sure you will" Adama said and he turned and headed back to
the upper platform to get started on the cycles work..

As Athena set back down at her station she took out the folder and opened
it.
In side was several sheets of paper, she couldn't help but chuckle
remebering how
much Starbuck hated witing anything. She began to read, and as she read she
began to feel
sorry for Starbuck, "why hadn't he said anything about this to me before"
she thought.
She couldn't picture in her own mind Starbuck being a scared little boy, she
had always thought of him and invensable.
When she had finished reading the letter she put the folder back into her
jacket, and turned to face the console. She had to get the calculations
done, but as hard as she tried she couldn't get her mind off of that letter,
so she gave up for now and decided that what she needed was a hot cup of
java..
Athena stept off the turbo lift on the deck which contained the mess hall
she rounded the corner and ran right into Cassie who was also heading to the
mess hall from another corrador and almost knocked her down, "I'm sorry" she
said as she steadied the med tech.
"thats alright, no harm done" Cassie repied, neather of knowing what to say
to the other.
As they both walk on to the mess hall, together, the silence between them
grew, Athena shifted for one foot to the other, feeling slightly
uncomfortable. After reading Starbuck's letter, she wondered what Cassie
thought of her...



As they arrived at the mess hall there was a line forming for the morning meal, as they 
waited in line Cassie couldn't help but notice that Athena kept looking at her with this 
"guestion" in her eyes, and she wondered if Starbuck had finally spoken to her.
Finally, Athena could not take it any longer and asked Cassie if it would be possable for 
them to talk."Sure" Cassie said, "why don't we get a table near the back, there aren't to 
many people there" As they got there choices they headed for a table near the back wall. As 
they sat down Cassie waited for Athena to start. "I was just  wondering" Athena paused not 
sure exactly how to ask the question she wanted to ask. "yes" Cassie inquired,
Athena took at deep breath and thought to herself "ok Athena, you started this now finish it" 
Cassie I, uh! I got this letter from Starbuck, and I'm not sure how I should take it. I know 
that you two have split up, and why is none of my buisness, but, He said some things in this 
letter that talks about the break up, and, well,
not to go into much detail, but, he said that you think he is still In love with me!"
"Do you really think that?"" I'm so tired of Starbucks jokes, and if you didn't say such a 
thing I need to know." Athena then paused; holding her breath, not sure of what Cassie was 
going to say.  Cassie sat there not sure how to talk to her about this, she knew that when, 
and if, Starbuck ever told her, Athena might want ask her some questions about it.  
    "Athena" Cassie began; I'm not sure I sould be the one you are asking these questions of. 
The one thing I can tell you is "yes" I did tell starbuck that I knew he was still in love 
with you, even though I know he had never even admitted that to himself.  "He does love you  
Athena" that I am sure of..
Ahena was shocked, Cassie did tell starbuck that. Then, did that mean that the other things 
he said in his letter were also true? "Thanks Cassie, I know none of this must have been easy 
for you. "What are you going to tell him Athena? Cassie was curious; would Starbuck still end 
up alone if Athena didn't respond to his letter.  " Athena, Cassie said; " just give him a 
chance, I'm sure that if you do that, thing could work out with you two." Maybe, Athena said; 
But I'm not sure, He's hurt me a lot in the past, I need time to think, its not something I 
can just decide with the flip of a cubit. They spent the rest time together in silence until 
Athena had to return to the bridge.
  
After she left the mess hall, Athena headed back to the bridge. Deciding to not think about 
Starbuck or the letter until later, She had work to do, she'd worry about how she felt about 
things when she was off duty.
  
Starbuck went though the check list preparing for patrol when he heard Apollo come up behind 
him. "Hey buddy" you about ready for patorl? Starbuck asked;
Sure Starbuck, what brings you here so early? Apollo know that Starbuck had been in a weird 
mood ever since he and Cassie had broke up. He wasn't sure what had happened, Starbuck refused 
to say much, other then it didn't work out.
Maybe he could get him to talk about it while they were on patrol.
 Just getting ready for a nice quite patrol Apollo, you know you can never be to careful when 
it comes to your viper, got to keep in in tip top condition...
 "what" Apollo that, Starbuck must be nervous about something, he's rambining.
  
Starbuck just wanted to get going, he wanted to get his mind on something other then Athena.  
"Has she read the letter yet?" "What did she think?" "will she ever forgive him?' Those are 
the questions running though his mind at this moment and he needed desperatly to focus on 
something else before he goes crazy.
  
"So buddy you ready to get going? " Sarbuck asked:
    
  
 As Starbuck finished his turbo wash and dressed he wondered what he was
going to do now. It had been almost 2 sectons since he left the letter at
Athena's station 
and he hadn't heard a word from her. He had been tempted to go to her and
ask
if she read his letter, but he didn't want her to think that he was pushing
her for and
answer. But would not going to her make her think that he didn't really mean
what he had said!
He was giving himself a headache trying to figure it out, should he or
shouldn't he.

 As he left the dressing area, he began walking toward the officers club to
meet Apollo and
Boomer for a few drinks. As he rounded the corner leading to the club he ran
right into Athena,
almost knocking them both to the floor. They automatically reached out for
each other to steady
there balance before they were even aware of who they had ran into. As
Starbuck looked up to apologize
he found his heart in his throat, looking at him also in a state of shock
was Athena, the woman that
hadn't left his mind in sectons. "Hey!" Starbuck stammered, unable to think
of anything else to say
 "You can let go now Starbuck!" Athena said; she couldn't believe she had
just ran into Starbuck;
she had just left the officers club where she had been looking for him. Now
that she found him
she wasn't sure of what to say, which was very disconcerting, she had known
exactly what she was
going to say to him; had practiced it for the last 3 cycles, but now
with him looking at her with that lost puppy look on his face, she was
unable to think of one word.

Starbuck let go reluctantly, "Athena" he choked out hoarsely,I was just
thinking about you! How are you?"
Starbuck felt like every nerve in his body was twitching, waiting for her to
say something anything,
Athena was still unable to think of one thing she had been planning on
saying to him. What was the matter
with her, "Come on Athena, say something!" Athena couldn't believe that she
felt this way!
"I'm fine!" she finally was able to get out, "And you?" "What was she
saying, she wished she could be
anywhere right now then in this corridor with those blue eyes looking at her
that way. What was he thinking
she wondered, he seemed to be a shook up as she was.

Starbuck couldn't take it any longer, the tension was so thick you could cut
it with a knife.
"I'm fine Athena, I was hoping I'd be seeing you soon, I uh..  well..uh... I
was wondering if you had
a chance to uh.. read my letter?" Starbuck waited unmoving while holding his
breath for an answer, not
sure if he was ready for the answer she might give.
"Yeah, I read it!" Athena said.
After she did not elaborate Starbuck inhaled even more, almost to the point
of making himself dizzy
as he straightened up, he asked "What did you think, do you think there is a
chance, well a chance that
you could even forgive me!"
That isn't exactly the question Athena thought he would ask, he didn't ask
if she would take him back
to give him a second chance, only if she could forgive him. Maybe, just
maybe, this wasn't some sort
of game to him, maybe he really did "mean" what he said it that letter.

"Starbuck!" I need to talk to you!" Athena was finally able to get out, "But
not here, lets go to my quarters
I think Rigel is still on duty on the bridge, so we should be alone."
"Sure" Starbuck said; finally releasing the breath he had been holding, what
ever her decision, he
would hopefully have and answer by the end of this cycle..
They both left for her quarters, wondering what the other was thinking, and
wondering what would happen
next... Both secretly hoping that they wouldn't be the one to get hurt.

Upon arriving at Athena's quarters, Athena asked Starbuck to sit down at the
one table in one corner
of the small living area of the quarters.
"Starbuck" Athena began, how was she going to say this, she looked at him
and hoped she was doing the
 right thing; "I did read you letter, even though my first thought was to
throw it away, I wasn't
ready to hear... well what I thought you might have to say, but I was
wrong." She took a deep breath to trying
to steady her shaking nerves, I wasn't prepared for what you had to say,
it.. well it took me by surprise
to say the least, why didn't you ever tell me any of this? Why did you have
to wait so long before
you could tell me how you really felt?"
"Because I didn't know how I felt, Athena. Not until I was forced to face my
feelings.
How can I explain it to you when I can't even figure it out myself, I just
know that what I feel
for you is real! I hurt you Athena I know that, and I would gladly face
anything, do anything,
if it would change that, but nothing will ever change that. All I can
promise is that it will *never*
happen again. If you do decide to give me, us, another chance, and I'm not
saying you should, I will
spend the rest of my life making it up to you..."
Starbuck's own hands were shaking now and Athena couldn't believe it but she
saw what she thought
to be tear's in the corners of his eyes, in all the years that she has known
him, she don't think
she had ever seen him cry, not even after the destruction of the colonies,
even then he kept this
wall up not letting anyone see what he was truly feeling. And yet, here he
was, sitting right in front
of her, and for the first time since they had known each other, he was
completely open, and vulnerable.
How was he going to take what she was going to tell him, and could she still
tell him what she had
planned on telling him.
Athena wished she had the answer to that question. She had thought she had
know exactly was she was going
to tell him, but now she had no idea...should she forgive him, and give them
both a chance for
happiness, or should she tell him that too much time has past between them
and they have both changed
the answer wouldn't be
a quick or easy decision.. she needed time to think.
"Starbuck, I need more time, I thought I know what I wanted to tell you, but
now, could you
give me a little more time?" Starbuck couldn't speak at first, not sure he
had heard her right, was this
a good sign, he hoped so, he didn't know if he could take the answer if it
wasn't.
"Sure, you take all the time you need Athena, I'll be here! Of that  I can
promise."


    Starbuck was sitting in the officers club feeling a little low, looking
at his crono he thought that Boomers patrol should have landed by now, he
had promised Boomer that he would have a few drinks with him after he
returned
from patrol, but now he was wondering if he would be very good company, he
really didn't feel like being around a lot of people right now, he couldn't
remember the
last time he felt this low.

    Boomer and Greenbean arrived shortly after Starbuck had and Boomer
noticed his friend sitting at a table off in the corner of the room, "Wonder
what is up with him lately?" Boomer asked nodding his head toward Starbuck;
"Beats me" Greenbean said, looks like he just lost his best friend; Both of
them headed in his direction.

    "Hey there buddy! Boomer said as he pulled up a chair and sat down.
"I'll go get our drink Boomer!" Greenbean said, and headed towards the bar,
he sure hoped Boomer could get Starbuck to talk, something was bothering his
friend, and he was beginning to worry about him, they all where, anyone
close
to Starbuck had noticed that something was really troubling him, but as of
yet, no-one was able to find out what, not even Apollo.

    "So spill it," Boomer said;  Starbuck jumped slightly, he hadn't been
ready for that. "Spill what? My drink!" he laughed slightly, hoping to
distract Boomer from his line of questioning. "What's been bothering you the
last few sectons, that's what!" Boomer said, not letting him get off the
hook. "I don't know what your talking about Boomer;
I'm fine. " Starbuck replied, he really didn't want to get into this.
Like Hades your fine you have been moping around here like a
dagget with out a bone, now what's up?

    "Hi Boomer! A tall blond headed beauty said as she approached the
table,"Hi Jessie, Boomer replied, I'd like you to meet my gloomy friend
here,
Starbuck, this is Jessie she's one of the new pilots assigned to green
squadron.
"Hello!" Starbuck said, not really interested in getting into a conversation
with anyone at this moment in time.

    "Hello Starbuck" Jessie said moving a little closer to his side of the
table, "I've heard a lot about you from some of the other female pilots. She
pulled up a chair and set down right next to him, and leaned closer as she
said "is it true? every thing they say about you!" Starbuck was beginning to
feel quite uncomfortable and suddenly got up, uh.... sorry, but I don't
think I'm feeling to well, I think I'll get some fresh air.

    He turned and headed for the door, "what fresh air, Boomer hollered over
his shoulder, were on a ship remember." "Where's he going?" Greenbean asked
as he returned to the table in time to see starbuck head out the door.
"Beats me," Boomer said; "He said he was going out for some fresh air."

    Starbuck wondered the halls of the galactica in a stupor. It seemed
like forever since he  had last talked with Athena. She had told him 3
sectons ago that she need more time to think, and he had promised her that
time, had even went as far as saying he would be there when she was
ready. But now he was wondering how long that was going to be, would he be
waiting forever, he wished he knew, this waiting was killing him.

    Starbuck left the officers club , leaving Boomer and Greenbean starring
after him. They couldn't believe what they had just witnessed. Starbuck had
just passed up a chance to spend the evening with one of the new female
viper pilots. That was not like Starbuck.

    Boomer knew that something was not right with his friend , but couldn't
put his finger on the problem, now with this new development he new there
was something bothering him, and he was going to find out what that was,
even if it took all of Sleep period to accomplish.

    Boomer left the  officers club in search for his friend, just outside
the officers club he ran in to Apollo and asked him if he had seen Starbuck,
"yeah, I just past
him at the turbo lift, said he was going to the launch bay to check out his
viper for launch in a few centars," looking back toward the turbo lift, he
asked "what's up?"

    Boomer explains to Apollo what  happened in the officers club, and he
too wondered what was going on. "I think I'll go with you Boomer! your
right, if Starbuck passed on a chance to spend the evening with a beautiful
woman, then something is definitely wrong." They both headed toward the
turbo lift in search for their obviously disturbed friend.

    Starbuck had just finished making some pre-flight checks when he heard
the turbo-lift coming to a halt, he glance up from the side of his viper to
see Apollo and Boomer heading in his direction.

"Hey what's up, I didn't expect to see you until time to launch Apollo,
thought you were headed for the officers club?"


"I was!" Apollo said as he made his way over to his buddy's viper, "But
after what I heard
happened in the officers club, I got a little curious."  Starbuck began to
shuffle his feet wishing he could find a place to hide. He did not want to
tell Apollo anything about what was bothering him, At least no until he know
how things stood with Athena.  "Curious! what do you mean?" Starbuck knew
exactly what he meant, but sure wasn't going to let on.

    "Come on Starbuck, you have been acting very distracted and upset for
the last few, no, more then a few sectons. What is bothering you? You can
talk
to me, you know that!" Apollo was getting very irritated with his best
friend, he thought that he was the one person that Starbuck could always go
to with a problem, the only other time that he could recall was when he had
gotten involved with Athena, but that couldn't be it, or could it!
No that's impossible, Athena wouldn't be that naive not now, not after all
she went though with him.
"Starbuck, this wouldn't .... this wouldn't have anything to do with Athena
would it?"

    "What!" Starbuck felt his legs almost give way, how could he know! Had
Athena told him?
No, if she had told him anything he wouldn't be here asking these questions.
"I don't know what your talking about Apollo, like I told you I'm fine."
Starbuck quickly looked for and escape, and to his luck at that micron a
call came over the com, ~Lt. Starbuck, please report to life station!~ He
didn't have any idea what this was about, but he was grateful for the exit
it provided.  "Sorry Apollo, got to run, I'll see you later, when we go on
patrol, okay, okay,  so long Boomer." Starbuck headed for the turbo lift as
fast as he could leaving Apollo and Boomer starring after him. What's that
all about, Boomer asked, you don't think he's sick do you?" "I don't know
Boomer, but something is deffenently wrong, and I'm not going to be put off
much longer, I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

    Starbuck made his way to the life station in no time, still not sure why
he was called there, as he entered the room he saw Cassie and Athena
standing by the door to her office, "uh oh!" he thought, what is this about.
As he approached them the both smiled, Cass said something to Athena that he
wasn't able to hear and then winked at him as she passed. "Hi!" he said to
Athena as he came to a stop in front  of her, did you arrange this? Starbuck
couldn't help but smile back at her, she was beautiful, the smile on her
face was genuine, and it reached her eyes. "Yes I did, I thought we should
talk, and I felt like here would be a good place, just in-case! Follow me."
She then turned and went into Cassie's office. He followed and once he was
in she closed the door, walked over to the desk and set down on the corner
of it.

   "In-case of what?" Starbuck was beginning to get really nervous, what was
she going to say, or do,
that she needed to be in the life station to do it;" Athena motioned to
chair in front of her and told him to have a seat, he did as she asked.

    "Starbuck, I need to tell you what I have decided, about us, I just
wanted a place where I knew we wouldn't be interrupted and Cass said we
could use her office and said she would make sure we weren't  interrupted.
So please just listen and don't say anything until I get this out. Promise!"
"I promise" Starbuck was sure what she was going to say, but was encouraged
by the smile on her face.  "OK!" she said as she shifted her weight to get a
little more comfortable. "Here goes,
When we talk the last time, I knew what I was going to tell you, I was going
to ask you if you were crazy to think that I would ever consider giving us
another try, but then when I saw how sincere you were, well I could tell you
that. I had to give it more thought. So I have thought about it, worried
about it, and after not being able to sleep, I asked Cassie about it.  Well
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have thought it over a great deal,
and though I'm not saying that thing should or could go back to the way they
were before.  Oh listen to me, I'm rambling... I guess what I'm trying to
say is, I don't want,
I mean I do want,  Oooh,  (stomping her foot on the floor) what I mean is I
want you for my friend Starbuck, I don't want to loose that, not again. But
I think that, if you have changed, as Cassie and I think you have then, well
then I don't want to pass up the opportunity to see if there could be
something more.

    Starbuck took a deep breath not sure what it all meant, "Uh, Athena, I
don't want to interrupt but just what is it that you have decided? I don't
understand"  Athena took slid off the corner of the desk and stepped closer
to him, "What I'm saying Starbuck is that I'll give you a second chance."
"Starbuck stood up and let out a sigh, but as he reached for her to pull her
close to him, her hand came up to stop him" "To court me" Athena said with a
giggle, we'll take it from there, if you can win my heart, and it won't be
easy, then we'll take it slow. If you can't then maybe we can at least end
it as friends and remain as such." " Is it a deal?"

    Starbuck stood there not sure what he was feeling, she hadn't said no,
but she hadn't really said yes either, but at least he knew know that he had
a chance. "Deal" he said reaching out to take he out stretched hand.  They
stood there looking at each other for awhile until, Starbuck finally asked,
so How would you like to come to my funeral, because if I know your brother,
I might not live past this next patrol when I tell him that I'm going to be
dating his little sister again." They both laughed at that.
And headed out of the office together. As the left the life station together
they both wondered what lay ahead, time would tell, and hopefully this time
there will be a happy ending..

THE END.


ALVERINE
alverine@swbell.net