What is wrong with a naked Starbuck, What is wrong with a naked Starbuck, What is wrong with a naked Starbuck, Earl-aye in the morning. Way hay and up he rises Way hay and up he rises Way hay and up he rises Earl-eye in the morning What 'cha gonna do with those hard muscles, What 'cha gonna do with those hard muscles, What 'cha gonna do with those hard muscles, Through the daily cy-cle? Way hay and feel those biceps, Way hay and feel those biceps, Way hay and feel those biceps, Through the daily cy-cle! Flaunt it if you got it, so they tell us, Flaunt it if you got it, so they tell us, Flaunt it if you got it, so they tell us, Every single centon. Way hay, strut yer stuff, lad Way hay, strut yer stuff, lad Way hay, strut yer stuff, lad Every single centon. Flex 'em while you're playing Triad, Flex 'em while you're playing Triad, Flex 'em while you're playing Triad, Till the game is o-ver. Way hay, he shoots, he scores now, Way hay, he shoots, he scores now, Way hay, he shoots, he scores now, Till the game is o-ver. Tailor the pants, and make them fit right, Tailor the pants, and make them fit right, Tailor the pants, and make them fit right, Got to look my best-o Way hay, fix the hair now, Way hay, fix the hair now, Way hay, fix the hair now, Got to look my best-o Why put pants on a naked Starbuck? Why put pants on a naked Starbuck? Why put pants on a naked Starbuck? Wash him first in the turbo! Way hay, lather those abs up, Way hay, lather those abs up, Way hay, lather those abs up, Wash him first in the turbo! At first, Starbuck had perked up when half way across the Officer's Club, a familiar tune had begun. He hadn't picked out the words, involved in a discussion with Apollo, but when his friend's green eyes had twinkled with delight as well as a definite element of mischief, and the captain had nodded his head towards the growing group of singers, Starbuck had automatically slipped off his stool and headed over. It sounded like a party, and he was always ready for a party. Then, as Starbuck took a gulp of his ale, the words suddenly penetrated his brain, and he spewed his drink across the floor in shock. Ensign Brie stood up on the table, swinging her tankard back and forth with the melody, as she added her verse. "I know what I'd do with a naked Starbuck, I know what I'd do with a naked Starbuck, I know what I'd do with a naked Starbuck, later in the cy-cle. Way hay, I'd take him home now, Way hay, I'd take him home now, Way hay, I'd take him home now, later in the cy-cle." Apollo turned towards his friend, picking Starbuck's jaw up off the floor and politely putting it back where it belonged. "C'mon, Bucko. They're playing your song." He laughed, grabbing Starbuck by the arm and leading him over. Starbuck, taking a good-natured shot on the chin as only he could, smiled as Brie's verse ended. Taking a drink from his tankard, he cleared his throat and, glancing at Apollo, began to sing his melodious revenge: Sneak through the dark from the Captain's chambers! Sneak through the dark from the Captain's chambers! Sneak through the dark from the Captain's chambers! Sprained your ankle, She-ba? Way hay, tripped on the daggit, Way hay, tripped on the daggit, Way hay, tripped on the daggit, Sprained your ankle, She-ba? The room erupted into laughter as Apollo flushed to the tips of his ears. He grinned at his friend, chuckling and shaking his head as the tables turned on him. However, in an OC the tables had a habit of turning . . . One step up on a chair, another onto the table, making him the current centre of attention, he raised his tankard high, then belted out, "Steam burned in the launch tube, hurt my astrum, Steam burned in the launch tube, hurt my astrum, Steam burned in the launch tube, hurt my astrum, Cassie, make it better!" Apollo punched his fist in the air, as everyone joined in for the 'way hays': "Way hay, put some salve on, Way hay, put some salve on, Way hay, put some salve on, Cassie, make it better!" "Very funny, buddy," Starbuck took another sip amidst the guffaws and giggles of his fellow off-duty warriors and looked his best friend up and down, impressed by the way the Captain had turned the tables, "But how about this one?" Wilker gave the daggit a video recorder, Wilker gave the daggit a video recorder, Wilker gave the daggit a video recorder, I've got the data crystals! Way hay, Sheba's got a tattoo, Way hay, Sheba's got a tattoo, Way hay, Sheba's got a tattoo, I've got the data crystals! Apollo could feel his face drain of all colour. Especially when he looked at Sheba. Her eyes opened wide in horror, and it appeared as though she had stopped breathing. She looked as though she was in a trance amidst all the knee-slapping and bent-over-double hysterics of their fellow pilots. Then in true Sheba fashion, her eyes narrowed and she pointed at Starbuck, striding over to him, her finger not wavering. She stopped before him, and as his smile slipped, hers grew. She poked him in the chest before singing, "Launch him out to deep space, without his Viper, Launch him out to deep space, without his Viper, Launch him out to deep space, without his Viper, Oh, we'll sorely miss him. Way hay, load him in a launch tube, Way hay, load him in a launch tube, Way hay, load him in a launch tube, Oh, we'll sorely miss him." Starbuck laughed weakly and gestured to the barman for a round, lifting his eyebrows at Sheba in his most charming fashion as Apollo held her back from launching herself forward, her hands clenched in preparation for a strangling maneuver. As the drinks were re-filled, Starbuck cleared his throat once again, throwing Apollo a look of barely controlled hilarity. You sure fell for a good old bluff now, You sure fell for a good old bluff now, You sure fell for a good old bluff now, There are no data crystals! Way hay, I win the wager, Way hay, I win the wager, Way hay, I win the wager, There are no data crystals! Apollo sat Sheba down at a table, slipping a drink into her hands. He briefly caressed her cheek before turning back towards Starbuck, who was now clinking glasses with Boomer, Jolly, Giles, Greenbean, Cree . . . well, every male pilot in the room. Cubits were being thrust into the lieutenant's hands, and he threw them on the bar as he winked at the barkeep and told him to keep the drinks coming. The room exploded in cheers as the lieutenant once again endeared himself to all. Apollo raised a glass to his friend, smirking at the man's ability to come out smelling like rosas in any situation. All the same, Starbuck wasn't the only one who could bluff . . . He nodded at the lieutenant as he accepted another full tankard, then sang: Cleaning turbo flushes with your toothbrush, Cleaning turbo flushes with your toothbrush, Cleaning turbo flushes with your toothbrush, Leaves a fetid taste-o Way hay, disciplinary duty, Way hay, disciplinary duty, Way hay, disciplinary duty, Leaves a fetid taste-o Sheba sat wide-eyed with the realization that, by the end of the evening cycle, every soul aboard the Galactica would know how she'd sprained her ankle. At the sound of Apollo's song, she seemed somewhat more relaxed. At least her boyfriend outranked everyone in the room. He approach toward relaxation diminished, however, when she heard Starbuck's next contribution to the song. Come on buddy, don't pull rank now, Come on buddy, don't pull rank now, Come on buddy, don't pull rank now, Cain is right behind you! Way hay, hide behind Sheba, Way hay, hide behind Sheba, Way hay, hide behind Sheba, Cain is right behind you! Apollo closed his eyes, swallowing the battleship that had firmly lodged in his throat. They had meant to mention to the Commander of the Pegasus that their relationship had budded beyond that first kiss . . . finally. Yeah, some people were naturally slow. He'd heard that more than once, and he didn't need to hear it again. He tried to remember Starbuck's face when he had added his verse. Tried to remember if it there was warning or mischief in his eyes. Only Starbuck's best friend from over a deca-yahren could really tell with any real accuracy when his wingman was bluffing. . . at least one time in ten, at the last count. Then a tylinium-clad grip on his shoulder ended all doubt. The Juggernaut had arrived. Apollo pulled at his collar as the living legend put one foot on a stool, losely slinging an arm around Apollo's shoulders, and gathering the younger man to him in what appeared to be an embrace, but felt like a choke hold. Then Cain cleared his pipes, raising his tankard: You're all invited to the sealing, You're all invited to the sealing, You're all invited to the sealing, They'll be man and wife-o! Way hay, shotgun wedding Way hay, shotgun wedding, Way hay, shotgun wedding, They'll be man and wife-o! Sheba, red-faced and at a complete loss for words, limped over and moved to punch Starbuck, who dodged and weaved, catching her in mid-spin and settling her gently into his own now vacated chair. Smiling, he raised his tankard to Cain, and winked mischieviously at Apollo and Sheba. Congratulations on the new son, Sir, Congratulations on the new son, Sir, Congratulations on the new son, Sir, Now you'll get grandchildren! Way hay, give him some air now, Way hay, give him some air now, Way hay, give him some air now, Now you'll get grandchildren! Apollo shook his head numbly, smiling weakly at Sheba. Dietra was patting her hand, and Brie was fanning her with the latest duty roster, trying to bring her around. Apparently, she was taking the shotgun wedding about as well as Apollo. All eyes were on him as he coughed, trying to find his voice. Desperately, he sought out Starbuck, trying to communicate a silent plea for help. However, the lieutenant was clearly enjoying his discomfort as much as everyone else. When you couldn't count on your best friend, who could you count on? Then something his buddy had once told him leapt into his mind, almost knocking him over with its simplicity. An out! He downed the tankard he was holding, then turned to Cain. I'll have you know we've set a date, sir, I'll have you know we've set a date, sir, I'll have you know we've set a date, sir, We'll seal on reaching Earth Way hay, I love your daughter, Way hay, I love your daughter, Way hay, I love your daughter, We'll seal on reaching Earth. Suddenly, Tigh and Adama rushed into the Officer's Club, shouting excitedly for Cain and the assembled group to hear, "Good news! Praise the Lords of Kobol! We've found Earth! Sheba looked up at Apollo and smiled in resignation, happy to see that he did the same. The two of them nodded in affirmation as she lifted her voice in song, That's the first time you've said you love me, That's the first time you've said you love me, That's the first time you've said you love me, Let's get married, Skipper! Way hay, I'll need some bridesmaids, Way hay, I'll need some bridesmaids, Way hay, I'll need some bridesmaids, Let's get married, Skipper! Starbuck startled, strangely quiet as the rest celebrated. His eyes flickered over the room, scanning the OC like a prey searching for a predator. He slunk towards the nearest exit, almost jumping out of his flight suit when Cassie abruptly appeared before him. She placed a hand on his chest, halting him in his attempted flight. With a determined step, she propelled him backwards, shoving him towards the others. Her eyes sparkled and her face was glowing with happiness. She grabbed Starbuck behind the neck, pulled him to her for a breathtaking kiss, then released him. He seemed to weave on his feet for a moment, before he smiled. Then she took the tankard offered to her by the barkeep, and sang: Chameleon told me what you said, Chameleon told me what you said, Chameleon told me what you said, When you reach Earth you'll seal. Oh, how long I've waited, Oh, how long I've waited, Oh, how long I've waited, When you reach Earth you'll seal. Starbuck sank slowly into the nearest chair, looking into Cassiopeia's eyes and thinking with a smile, /well, why not?/ Cain and Adama clinked tankards and began to assess the most promising names for their future mutual grandchildren, and which populated centre of Earth would best to choose for first contact, while Boomer stepped forward, raising his tankard and surprising everyone with a very impressive baritone, My two best friends are getting married, My two best friends are getting married, My two best friends are getting married, Now, /I/ can be the best man! Way hay, a double wedding, Way hay, a double wedding, Way hay, a double wedding, Now, /I/ can be the best man! Starbuck glanced around at the revelry surrounding them, grinning as Apollo kissed his betrothed in the only quiet little corner around, while Adama and Cain called for the vintage ambrosa to celebrate. Boomer walked by, slapping him on the shoulder in congratulations. Starbuck pulled Cassie down onto his lap, nuzzling her neck. His eyes twinkled with mischief before he added a final verse: What is wrong with a naked Starbuck, What is wrong with a naked Starbuck, What is wrong with a naked Starbuck, Earl-aye in the morning. Way hay, up he rises, Way hay, up he rises, Way hay, up he rises . . . And then everyone in the OC, raised a glass, joining in: Earl-aye . . in . . the morn-ing!