Closure By Catherine Braunstein Disclaimer; Don't own them, don't pretend to, not making any money. But if I did, Starbuck would NOT be a woman. Most of the time, I am glad that I was not there when the colonies were destroyed. Our civilization, our twelve worlds, reduced to ashes in a matter of hours. While I comprehend that it happened, and understand the ramifications every time I look into the eyes of a survivor, I am kind of glad that we were spared the first-hands knowledge of the tragedy. Not that we were sitting back drinking Ambrosia. Those of us on the Pegasus were trying our best to survive in Cylon territory, especially after the losses we took on Gomorray. Still, there are times when I think about going to watch the news footage of the destruction. Morbid, and I have to wonder who the hell had the presence of mind to record it, but I think that maybe it would help me put a cap on the whole thing. Honestly, there are times that I wake up and think that I am back on Gemoni. I remember it all as if it were yesterday, and sometimes I forget that it is nothing more than a memory. There was the mushie shop I used to go to run by old miss Astara. She was the same woman who always gave me a free mushie, even when I was an adult warrior. The park and playground were not too far from there, and often I would go with my friends and hit the sand trails. They had one exhibit that I really loved, the indoor ecosystem where they replicated the weather conditions of all twelve worlds. That's where I began to think I would like to be a warrior. Maybe if I saw the footage, and saw that these things truly no longer exist, I could let go. I spoke with Jolly about this the other day, kind of asking his opinion, and he didn't encourage me or discourage me. "Skipper," he said, patting me on the shoulder and giving a half-smile. "You may get the closure that you're looking for, but you'll never stop missing the colonies. Only thing that will do that is when we stop living on the Galactica and find Earth. You don't truly stop missing what you had until you find a replacement." While I agree with his logic to an extent, I haven't found that living on the Galactica has helped me forget the Pegasus. I know the same is true for Sheba, although she was never one to blab on about her hurts. And I know she is hurting more than a lot of us. Her mother was already gone when we lost the colonies, and the destruction wiped out whatever family she did have remaining. That left her and her father, Commander Cain, to forge together an even stronger bond than they already had. Then, he was gone, too. Most of us who came here from the Pegasus had previously been assigned to other Battlestars, so we knew some people. Sheba, however, had spent her whole career on the Pegasus, and really only knew her own people. So not only has she lost her family, her friends, and her homeworld, she's lost just about everything that she ever counted as her own. This is why I really can't understand Apollo's attitude. Yes, I know he lost his wife, and she was one lovely lady. But he has his father, sister, son, best friend, and ship still in his life. And yet, he's the one who walks around like the world is his enemy, while Sheba tries to make the best out of her situation. I know he cares for her, and she cares for him, but he still acts like its some kind of forbidden fruit. I've seen him looking at her, and what he feels for her is something any fool could see. Yet, he holds back. Why make it all the more miserable for the both of them?? Can't he just admit what he feels and maybe they both could be happy? Maybe I'll talk to Starbuck about this.. Approaching Starbuck is something that requires diplomacy- not exactly my strong suit. I know that even if Starbuck agrees with everything I say, if I sound like I am condemning Apollo he'll let me have it. Not that Starbuck hasn't gone off on Apollo himself. I remember when Apollo ordered that security probe on the guy who Starbuck thought was his father. It took both me and Jolly to calm him down before he broke both his helmet and his locker. My opportunity came after that crazy Basestar mission the two "wunderkinds" (writer's note - Did I spell it correctly Lanio?) went on. I found Starbuck drinking his Ambrosia, sitting with the blonde med-tech he was dating. Cassiopeia, I think her name is. I know that Commander Cain was also involved with her, and I had heard Sheba mention her derisively many times. I think the reason that the name doesn't stick in my head is that when I met the lady, she was just that. A lady with capital letters. At least Sheba managed to resolve that situation with her father before he disappeared. I know that woman, and if they hadn't it would have bothered her immensely. "So, can I join you two.." I said as casually as possible. Starbuck smiled as gestured to an empty chair, fumarello in hand. "Be our guest. We haven't spoken in awhile." Starbuck lit his fumarello and his eyes had a mischievous twinkle. "Oh. So there's someone on the fleet that you haven't entertained with your Basestar story?" Cassie smiled, rolling her eyes, elbowing Starbuck. "No, but Bojay and I did dance together at the celebration afterwards." Starbuck snickered, and I had a hard time keeping a straight face myself. "Hey, after four or five Grogs you get a lot less choosey about dance partners" I responded, laughing. "How do you think I got saddled with him?" Cassie quipped. Now I understood how Cassie dealt with the "legend" that is Starbuck. When it came to a battle of wits, she left him standing still. "Hmmm...İspeaking of getting saddled with someone. Have you noticed anything strange going on between Sheba and Apollo?" I said this as casually as possible, hoping to get a reaction from one of them. I more than got what I asked for when Starbuck started to stare into his drink and Cassie visibly squirmed in her seat. "Sensitive subject? Look, I don't want to cause any trouble...İ." I began when Cassie cut me off. "No, Bojay. You didn't say anything wrong. It's just that those two are infuriating. Sheba has confided in me how she feels for Apollo, but Apollo is closed off. Starbuck has tried more than once to get the man to talk, but he is just not talking." "Besides that," Starbuck grimaced, " I know that Sheba put herself on the line and told Apollo how she felt before we left on the Basestar mission, and he's been avoiding her ever since. There's only so long that he's going to get away with that...İ." "Sheba is going to get disgusted of waiting. And once that happens, Apollo will have lost his chance to be happy." Cassie concluded, finishing Starbuck's conversation. "And so will she," I chimed in, folding my hands in front of me "unless we can prevent that from happening." Starbuck raised his eyebrow. "What do you mean, we?" "Well, Sheba is like my sister, Apollo is like your brother, shouldn't we help them?" Starbuck gave a small smile, "So we wouldn't be interfering...İ...İ" "Exactly."